Monday, December 13, 2010



As many of you already know, winter is on the way and it gave the Midwest a preview this weekend. But Omaha was spared a large accumulation of snow. I am not sure what the amount was officially, but it could not have been more than 2 or 3 inches. When I went out yesterday evening for a workout, the streets were mostly clear and there was little ice. Perhaps the ‘banana belt effect’ saved us from the worst of the storm, I am not sure. It is COLD here, but like a ‘dry heat’ is not as bad as a humid one, the same stands for a dry cold. It is what I would call very brisk. I went out only in a hoodie, making sure my hands were covered.


Even though Nixxie knows how I feel about cheerleading, having discussed that when she was playing in a softball league and I had to take her to a hospital during after she was injured in a game, but KT is still doing some kind of pom-pom sqaud in high school. I have the same kind of swirling emotions regarding football. As much as it is a game of character, it is also a device for revenue as well as a narcotic to the masses.

I’ve have spoken about the inconsistency between how football is sold to us and the inherent risks involved in participation. Even though it is called pugilistica dementia, football players mostly make up those who suffer from the condition. Now you could say that there was less known about the concussive effects of football, but I don’t think that is the case. The NFL, like many large, monolithic global corporations have swept studies on the subject of player’s health and safety for years. Not to mention the culture that surrounds the sport, the bravado and machismo that it compels men to display.

Aaron Rodgers suffered a concussion yesterday against the Lions, his SECOND for the season. I should not have to say anymore than that but again, being able to spread propaganda, the NFL has made the about brain injuries that many people see as no more significant as a knee injury (not to be pooh-pooing the joint damage football players suffer, that is an under-reported travesty as well). Years ago I remember John Madden making a comment about a player who got knocked out and returning to the game, saying that “If he was a boxer, he would be out for 30 days”, and that is pretty much true. I don’t think that Aaron Rodgers should have been in the game from his EARLIER concussion.

It gets pretty hard to reconcile things at times, doesn’t it?  Being a fan of something so brutal and callous, where they obviously think of these things as nominal hazards??


Alright, my ex-wife was the wrong person at the wrong time of my life. I was in a good place so that keeps her from wining the triple crown of fail. That we kept at it until we got pregnant was either a testament to my obliviousness or lack of hormonal control.

If her violence was a by-product of her hormones and the pressure of now raising two children (she has a daughter from an earlier relationship) I couldn’t tell you. The last straw was the night I decided to take my allowance (yes boys and girls, I let her handle our money, surrendering my paycheck and letting her ‘pay me’ out of my own earnings…) and try to take Jan out for a night of pub-crawling. When Jan would drop me off at our place, my ex-went ballistic and threw my things out right then and there.

I would never look back. Now this is the first time where I will mention to anyone the level of humiliation that I felt at that moment, because of course the mini-riot that went on woke up the girls. What I remember is the look on HER daughter’s face, as if her Mom was in danger. That was one time I was glad Jan was around because she had went into the kitchen and came out with a…

…anywho, I knew from her attitude about men (charter member of the Single, lonely and loveless Mother’s Club) that she was not only fortunate to have found me to marry her, but that she’d be lonely for a long time. I think she is a crap human but hey, I did ‘put a ring on it’. She won’t cop to it, but she has obstructed the relationship that Skye and I have, talking crap about her father even after we’d have father-daughter time and not allowing me to take her to Carolina for a summer, defying the court-ordered visitation. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Hindsight is 20/20 and there were other issues that complicated that problem that I don’t think I should have to go into.


Nixxie and I had decided to let the curtain fall on our ‘benefit arrangement’ and go our separate ways when I ran into Pecan Sandie. Had I heeded Bell, Biv, and DeVoe’s advice about trusting big butts and a smile, ignoring her ‘crazy eyes’ and ‘spooky girl’ qualities, things would have been different.

A couple or three months into our relationship, my boxing career began to skid, Nixxie broke her news and Sandie began pressuring me about moving to Atlanta. Oh, not to mention the standard ‘She is trying to trap you away from me,’ behavior regarding Nixxie. All I can say is that I was such a maroon.

Some of our fail may have been because she saw us as having so much in common. She took some of my non-traditional qualities as self-loathing. I think she kind of doesn’t like being black and it is the attitude that Skye’s Mom has infected her with. But because we have a relationship and her Mom did understand where I was coming from and we did go to the Atl and try out a relationship for a bit. I’d like to think that we know each other well enough to where she’d want to come for a visit as an adult (as long as she is a minor, she really doesn’t have a choice).


Both Nixxie and I went to HBCU’s and as far as I am concerned, scholarship athletes are minor league professionals. I think that to balance all the things entailing being a student-athlete is a lot of pressure. Not only that she was the only person who was that close to me that got why I trained the way that I did and understood enough about how that part of my psyche worked. So we had that in common but the only problem between us was that we only really liked each other.

It isn’t like I don’t talk to Lexxie and keep abreast of what is going on, but Nixxie has always made sure that KT and I got along. The first time that I told her I would not be able to visit (I was new at the non-profit I was working for and did not have vacay days accrued) she straight away sent her up for the summer, a routine that lasted until ’07. Not only that, she has called me to talk about our daughter and life in general.

She would also send KT to me with ‘instructions’ about conversations that a Dad should have with his daughter. It always made me feel more like a Dad, because the conversations were the foundation for the bond that we have. KT is definitely her Mother’s daughter, but she has a lot of her Dad in her. Oh, as far as when it comes for her to take HER walk down the aisle, KT who has an active step-father in her life, has came up with a solution to who does that honor.

Both of her Dads will do it! :0)


Anonymous said...

I think the NFL could be brutally honest, and tell its players "You are definitely going to have memory loss and shaking hands somewhere down the line, but for now you'll have money and girls," and still young men would line up to sign up.

Mizrepresent said...

I read your thoughts everyday, sometimes 2 and 3 times a day. Sometimes i have to go back and read again, bc i wouldn't comment until i feel like have thoroughly grasped what you were saying. Thanks for makes me feel like we are all in this thing together. I don't really have a comment on your past lives or relationships...i just know that you are trying to make a difference, like me.

Jonthy, Alice the uppity white cat's babysitter said...


Football seems more brutal these days. I think you are right about the NFL propaganda. Yes, I too take a guilty pleasure in watching on Sundays but it is getting harder and harder to enjoy with so many dangerous hits. You are right, it's not just hits to the head. Earl Campbell is my age and looks like a 70 year old man. The Houston Oilers and the Texas Longhorns are responsible for overusing him. Earl has commented that when he goes to UT games, he gets ugly looks from fans who don't know who is is or about his legacy and think he is a drunk because of his difficulty in walking. That is a damn shame.

Toon said...

What Thomas said. I always wonder if there was a steroid that would make me a great artist/writer and had all the nasty side effects of regular roids - would I take it? I think I would.

Anonymous said...

Ha, laughing at what Toon said, since he is already a great artist & writer w/o the steroids.

Just look at what some women do to stay thin. I don't see a real difference there. I was at a martini bar once listening to 3 women discuss Meth as their diet aid. Ackkkk.

I'd rather watch ice hockey.

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Sorry to hear your ex was such a mean and nasty person.

Stay warm! It is freezing here in Ohio.

Happy holidays,