Sunday, July 18, 2010

Watching a video for an industrial/aggro song, I am wondering where one draws the line between letting something be for its intended purpose and being something that crosses into ironic, blatant hypocrisy. The reason why it has been on my mind is because of the tone that I had when describing some of the women who are a part of the environment at here, at the house.

A lot of what eventually makes it out here past the filters is still pretty raw. Some people have a ‘part of the club’ mentality, where they take for granted that because there are some ideas or opinion that are close enough to be shared, that they can say anything unchecked. But what is one thing to two people doesn't mean that a second thing will be the ‘one thing’ as well.

Though I thought it would be an artsy kind of addition to my entry until second thoughts about the video’s content had me rethink the action. I could have tried to put it in context but I don’t think it would have changed the initial impression that it may have left. So if y’all want to find it, you’d have to do it without my help. Just because some of what I write about here may be a point of common interest doesn’t mean that EVERYTHING I can put here is a shared appreciation. Some of this stuff may genuinely be offensive to sensibilities and personal ethics.

I do think that it is dependent on the person who is talking to ‘know his audience’ more than it is a responsibility of the audience to be so discerning that they allow themselves to be subject to something that is offensive to, or misrepresentative of their tastes. Even in expanding a horizon, I am careful what I bring here either through video or written content. The video crossed the line of good taste and may have been devoid of artistic vision.


If you listen to the Louis C.K. interview that got booted off of Mississippi Public Radio, there at around the 12:00 mark he talks with Terri Gross about his using the word ‘faggot’ on his new television show with a gay comic. The scene is quite revealing. It a conversation about what the word means and what baggage comes with the word. Powerful stuff.

With all the sensationalism in social politics I liked that he admitted to being unsure about some of the more sensitive things that he makes fun of. “I do ask once in a while. I am doing the research.” That isn’t bad being aware of others feeling and I don’t think that we owe each other more than that, do we?

Louis talks about the conflict between hetero/homosexual men. He gives an example that puts hetero men in the role of giggling schoolgirls when he talks to the straight guys about performing in front of a gay audience. He says that because gay men had to fight and go thru a crucible to stay true to themselves where straight men don’t, some straight men are intimidated at the presence of gay men. A lot of my male identity comes from not being afraid of whatever feminine traits that I have because I know my identity without question. I have had gay friends and of course, my darling brother, so it wasn’t something that was ever out of my realm of thought. Even with that as part of my personal experience, I do not think of myself as anything other than what or who I am, not as some kind of conduit of understanding of what is like between the two worlds. That is what made me appreciate the scene and the comments Louis CK spoke about on the show. It is hard to understand different perspectives when they have been mystified and demonized with little regard as to why.

The big NAACP/Tea Party flap is more of a case of both sides putting their head in a hole in the ground and pointing at the other saying that they started the fire while the house burns. Sometimes I want to say that the Tea Party arose and capitalized on brewing prejudice that bubbles closer to the surface with the election of a black President. But there is some policy in their platform and it is equally wrong to dismiss the substantive things in their small government ideals as it is to write off the NAACP as a liberal pawn. Not easy to do, though.

I don’t which group is more biased or clueless. Neither seem capable of looking into a mirror and dealing with their own warts before pointing out the flaws of the other. I could talk about who I think that the two groups represent and discuss what I reason to be their true agenda (they are BOTH part of the conspiracy to control minds and render society susceptible to control …) but I will talk about what I do know, and that is this; they don’t represent me. They both are in a denial of what they accuse the other of. That seems to be a recurrent theme when there is complaints bout the speck in our brother’s eye.

The kind of ignorance and stupidity that is seen in Tea Bag rallies is mirrored in NAACP gatherings only slightly less financed and organized. Because of the relative (un)sophistication of their audience, both groups get what they demand and little of what they need.

Personally, the NAACP needs to be more of a presence in the community that they claim to serve. Since the Civil Rights movement was started outside of the group, I have long questioned the purpose of the group and its ultimate usefulness in the social fabric. Meanwhile, there is a spirit beneath the Tea Bag movement that resembles the spirit that once lay beneath the fictional city of Derry and preyed upon those who were ignorant of it. As fierce as their opposition to the President’s policy has been the codified racism in their language has been pretty obvious, even with accounting for the plants that are present at some of their big rallies.


And it has been for awhile, too. Being with my best friend opened up a can of something else to for me to consider, the ‘best friend’ scenario, the relationship that you have with someone you are attracted to but the sexual chemistry doesn’t seem to be there.

At first we had the newlywed, ‘going to bed is like Christmas’ thing going. But when I started having my trouble getting acclimated and adjusted personally, our sex life started to go south and never got untracked. With me coming off a decade where I made a decision to reign in my ‘lustfulness’ in favor of a holistic approach to women and relationships, a couple of periods of drought and the fail with Mookie Dee sandwiching them, I haven’t really been in pursuit of sex.

I am sure that I miss it, but each time that I ask myself about it, getting laid; I tell myself that ‘I am good’. It isn’t that strange to me because part of my other option to the hoping that I can defy convention and find a once and future love to still be a once and future love, was to be single. Talking with Lexxie and her Mom the other night reminded me of why that made sense, perhaps more sense than holding out for the possibility I would find a life partner.

And that is going to do it for today… next week is ‘Zero Week’ and I would like to get off to a good start tomorrow!


Aurora said...

I've been far more content once I recently came to terms with accepting Spirit in my life as a partner -- rather than the various guys who I physically had the hots for over the last 3 decades and so fell in love with.

In letting go of the dream, sometimes you crreate another dream that works better for you.

I don't think everyone is meant to be married.
Some people hook up out of loneliness, or inability to be alone, or lots of other reasons besides genuine long term compatibility and shared values.

Better to not try to fit a square peg in a round hole.

I think society tends to assume you 'need' to have a mate to be 'normal'.
But when you look at 80% of the population and aren't impressed by their thought processes, perceptions, choices or behaviors-- who needs to be 'normal' ?

Her Side said...

Excellent post about the dangerous extremes that can exist on both sides of an issue. I have said for ages that the NAACP doesn't represent my "blackness" and doesn't address real social ill. Their last effort was to demonize a darned greeting card with a planetary theme for "Black Holes" sounding too much like "Black Hos." How embarrassing.

Your decision to get away from physical relationships and take a holistic approach to women sounds like it was good for the soul.


Jonthy, Alice the uppity white cat's babysitter said...


I have a friend (male) that I am afraid to get too close too. He is 6 years my senior ( yes I know, older person again), but a really great guy. His mom is in the same nursing home that my mom is and I have been so impressed with his love for his mom. However, I have observed that his mom's assets pays his way. I don't ever know who to really trust. He is interested in me but I don't know.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Powerful entry, hope you find your way in a new place.