Wednesday, June 23, 2010



... I'd want to look and be like Harry Connick Jr.!

I have always had a 'man crush' of sorts on him. I think he is a cool human being and a fantastic talent. Watching the film version of 'South Pacific' where his Lt. Cable was teamed with Glen Close as Nellie Forbush as leads, finding themselves in a war against their own prejudice in love, with the war in the Pacific as the back drop. This isn't too sophisticated a comment about the film and its issues other than how it dealt with racism. It is interesting how it still can resonate so clearly with modern times.

The same kind of infantile reasons that the leads had for denying themselves the full embrace of love because of something that is a superficial as skin color are still a great deciding factor in how we get along with each other now. The notion of religion being a reason that comes between a couple where love is present is less sketchy than ethnicity. As close as the DNA of major religion is among each other, the DNA of man of different groups are closer to one another. In fact, there is MORE divergence WITHIN an ethnic group than without.

A lot of this thought emerged from a conversation that I had with a nephew a few weeks ago prior to the graduation festivities. We talked at length about a bunch of different things and this was one of them. Going to Macomb CC is going to be a big change from him and rather than joking about 'the Fever', he sat down and asked me about it. Cutting through so much bullshit that he had learned as he grew up about 'white folks' got me a bit riled on the subject.

That wasn't all that we spoke about, either.


Don't want to stretch things out because I can't confirm anything, but he has never lived with his Father. Last year, Dad would visit and hang out but I didn't see much of a relationship going on between them. But he was around and that counts for something. Dad has a wife, a job that pays their bills, and can give the nephew a far more stable life for him to get his 'education on'.

He asked me about me and my little girls and if I had ever wished that they could have lived with me. Looking at him I could see the uncertainty in his eyes because this was going to be a huge step in his life, one where he was taking control of the ship and starting to captain it for real. And I know that as much as I mumble here about my circumstance, I talk about things a bit more in real life. I don't think he really wanted a deep discussion about the different obstacles in my role as a parent that I have brought on myself, but what I think he wanted to hear was that his Father not only wants him NOW, but has ALWAYS wanted him. Wanted to be a bigger part of his life and even when he wasn't, wished that he was there for his son.

Like I do with my girls. Sparing you the intricacies of the conversation, I thought to myself that he wanted to hear that his Dad was as excited and nervous about this as he was, and that he has always wanted to be close and near his son...

...just as I do with my daughters.


Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Sounds like a good opportunity for the nephew.

Senorita said...

Harry Connick Jr. is a total hottie with a naughty body.

He will be putting on a concert here in my area this summer.

LceeL said...

I'm sorry, man, but when I saw the opening tag line - "IF I WERE A WHITE GUY...", my mind immediately set it to music. "If I Were A Rich Man", from "Fiddler on the Roof" - as sung by Zero Mostel.

It was so funny, I had to leave and come back to read the rest of the post.

Jonthy, Alice the uppity white cat's babysitter said...

Mark, I think your nephew was asking the right person (you) about his relationship with his dad. I hope that he sensed how much you love your daughters and that even though circumstances make it difficult for parents to be together forever, their love of their children is an "always" deal. At least parents who truly love their children (and it is evident in your writing that you have a great love for your children).