I DON'T KNOW WHY...

LceeL cheats. There are certain things that I have always responded to, no matter what. The longer I can keep the motif in my head the more likely I will come out of whatever funk that I am in. Talking about experiences that anyone who pursues boxing as an avocation faces stirs me to rise up off my stool. Hearing the bell, I get my guard up and walk to the center of the ring.

That is about as far as the metaphor goes for now. I mean I know that I am going to work with this and get things back together. Other personal things that has a 'truthiness' factor to it prevent me from making a disclosure here. Of course if I string things together in a 'for profit' novel, that is a different fruit altogether!!

Been taking State games one at a time. It isn't that I don't think they are going to win but that I WANT them to win, so very badly. Since I don't want to jinx them and see beyond the next game, I expect them to beat Butler in yet another nail biter. That is how they have been doing it, displaying the same kind of toughness that I need to find in myself.

SOMETIMES, BELIEVING IS THE DREAM IS FAR HARDER THAN BELIEVING THE REALITY



"Little Boys. Little boys with their heads filled up with dreams. When do they find out, Frances? When do they suddenly find out that there aint any magic? When does somebody push their face down on the sidewalk and say to them, "Hey little boy, it's concrete. That's what the world's made out of, concrete. When do they find out that you can wish your life away?" - Bolie Jackson, character on an episode of 'The Twilight Zone', 'The Big Tall Wish'

Frances and her young son Henry, are neighbors of Bolie's in the same apartment building. The relationship is familiar and asexual. He is more like a role model for and is looked up to by Henry. Tonight is a big fight for Bolie. He is a journeyman boxer who is closer to the end, having left pieces of his youth and his dreams in too many rings, fighting for short money in tank towns. A win tonight would kick start his career and maybe get him one more ride on the merry go-round.

Needless to say Bolie has to deal with more than his fading skills. He learns during his warm up that his trainer/manager has been betting AGAINST him. In a fit of anger he takes a swing at the bum and misses, instead hitting a wall and busting his right hand. Going into the ring down half his offense, he fights and gets knocked on his back. He loses the fight... or does he?

The fight is on televison and Henry is watching the bout at home. When Bolie gets knocked down, he leans against the TV screen and he WISHES. In true Twilight Zone fashion, Bolie is the one standing over the other fighter. But the memory of what REALLY happened stays with him despite everyone else congragulations say. Eventually he would give in to the same illusion, so much so that when he gets home and gets to talk with Henry...

...IN THE OTHER CORNER

Last night ESPN2 ran a replay of Evander Holyfield - Riddick Bowe 2. It was the only bout of the three they fought that Evander won. Russ, who used to blog some of the most inventive art in his blog, remarked that I had set a tall order comparing myself to Evander's physique. At one time, I don't think I was that far off. But the biggest reason I compared myself to Evander is that we both had being undersized heavyweights and nemisis at the Kronk gym in common.

So I am watching him do his work against Riddick Bowe. Unconsciously, I find myself moving and slipping punches and looking for openings. I want to think I am seeing Bowe through the same eyes as Holyfield does. When he gets hit, I react in the way that I would were I indeed fighting him. And a lot of what I am doing resembles the way Holyfield works, and watching him push himself to victory.

Without a doubt I will get back into things. Can't say when, though. I mean this is yet another move and that was far from the goal when I set off from the Mook's and 'the provencial town that I jogged 'round'. 'Bitter, is the gall of my cup', some smart guy wrote. And I currently characterize that phrase.