NEW LOOK!!
Ooh... tell me if y'all like it! Got to love (at least I do!!) the new header with the light blue background and the navy blue letters. Blue has been a fave color of mine forever... got to wonder why I didn't go Air Force or Navy!
RUN THE MATH
I was listening to an old episode of 'This American Life'. The show prologue was a discussion with some Harvard physics cats who did the numbers regarding the odds of finding that one person that you are meant to be with.
Once they crunched the numbers they came up with the likely hood of finding a girlfriend. Using the math and the population of Boston, Mass... it got scary fast. From a total population of 600K to 2500 potential partners and that is before they factored in any personal qualifications.
I liked the line 'assume there exists 'X''... meaning that you have to assume that there IS someone out there, otherwise, what is the point? As it is, there is enough despair to go around when it comes to love. To have a concrete number to show how lucky (or unlucky) a person has to be in finding that person to share life with, is a tough swallow.
The cats then did the numbers for a female colleague and she gave them all her 'must haves' and they came up with the concept digit, 'zero'. That is to say that there is NO ONE in the Boston area who would meet any of her standards and ostensibly, that there is no one in town for her.
Wow. That is something for a person to think about.
Though at the time I was not aware of the idea of the Drake Equation and its function to have formally called what I thought in my teens something clever and witty, I did have that in mind. I considered the possibility that there was someone in the world for me, both specifically and vaguely. I think that those who are looking for a 'specific' person is a lot like the female physicist, who was so detailed that she left only the 'lighting bolt' chance that there exists a 'one' for her.
Which is what makes the Drake Equation so profound. As we know and from what we have observed, THIS is the only place where the conditions for life as we know it, meets. But in assuming that there is 'X', you have to believe that there is someone who you are supposed to be with. And the chance that you actually find this person is very long indeed.
So why do people get married anyway?
I GET TWO LOVES IN MY LIFE
Another story was about a couple who were having the kind of conversation that is typical of the 'puppy love' part of a relationship. The kind of things that you only say with spakle in your eyes and where the questions come with a predictible answer.
The girl was going on about how lucky they were to have found each other, thinking that her beau would confirm what she thought of their relationship. She was in the 'only one in a million' frame of mind when he told her that he thought there were the 'one in a one hundred thousand' kind of thing.
Now these were smart kids and the difference between 'one in a million' and 'one in a hundred thousand' was not lost upon the girl. With the former comes the notion that the odds are impossibly long that there could be another person who is a perfect a partner for either of them. The latter says something similar, but would add to it a convincing, 'but not so much'.
So, does anyone who is currently in a relationship think that theirs is a 'one in a million' thing or that as neat as their partner is, that there exists the possibility that there is another with whom they could share a wonderful life with? An inquiring mind would like to know!!
10 comments:
<3 you. :) you're neither too old nor broken down... just thought i'd let you know that! I'd marry you. haha seriously. Thank you for always being so sweet. Too bad you weren't at Scott Hall...
My wife and I will have been together 33 years come this June. She is, however, my second wife. When the first one and I were together, I thought that IT would have lasted this long - at least. The thing is - you never know. I DO know this - no relationship stands a chance unless the two people involved can communicate. That's what went wrong with my first marraige - and that's what is so right with my current marriage.
Are there others out there? Yes. Am I looking? No. Would I if I met one of those others? I haven't so far - and I have met them, over the years. So I don't think so.
I like the new blog look, Mark; great choice of colors
Will be married 30 years this October; I am very happily married but I also am realistic that there could have been others that I could have shared a wonderful life with, but that's when I believe that God brought us together for whatever purpose and if there was someone else he wanted me to marry, I would probably have met that person and been perfectly happy too like I am in this relationship. What I don't know though is if hubby were to die before me, would I pursue another relationship? nothing wrong here, just wondering if I would want to get married again
betty
I like the new look.
loving the new look Mark!
now..about the relationship thing...my husband and I have been together for 24 years..married for almost 20. Do I think it's a "one in a million"? no. do I think there is someone out there I am better suited to? yes. Do I act on it? nooo....at least not right now! ;) I think you can MAKE things work with a person, if you put your mind to it. Is there anyone who knows me better? probably not...well, maybe my best friend Bina, but that's a whole different story. You have HISTORY with a person...and that counts for a lot in my book.
I worked up enough nerve once to tell a woman that I thought she was my "one".
She laughed, breaking my heart. She said, everyone had told her she was the one.
Yes, I believe there is that special "one". Call it a soul-mate, or whatever you wish. But, every once in a while, someone does find their "one".
I was out because some horn dog guys use lines to get in girls pants. That's as asshole-ish as it comes. If I tell a woman I care, she can bank on that I care! I never throw those emotions around.
Oh, I was married for 16 years.
I loved her. But, we both knew we weren't eachothers "one". We had been great friends, which is close, but NO CIGAR .
Hmmm, I like to believe in the one in the million thing because I'm a very dreamy kind ... but I'm not sure. The whole soul mate thing, too. But there are just too many factors to consider in meeting that *one* that I'm a little skeptical. Oh, I've been jaded as well so that makes a difference in how I feel about that kind of stuff :)
from the sebadoh song 'brand new love'
'Follow what you feel, you alone will decide what's real. Anyone can be your brand new love. If you need a different face, it's definite time to destroy this place.'
i think how we view ourselves determines who we meet and how we respond to the whole love thing. but then i also have concrete thumbs and for the most part think that feelings can get in the way of the practicality of things. i think when you have a laundry list of expectations, zero is a feasible answer.
xxalainaxx
i hit enter too soon!
at any rate, i think what you do about putting yourself in a position to be able to give/ receive love is much more important than what you believe or what a statistic says should happen.
i mean look at me and the mr.
who would of thunk it??? but it is because we were in a place to do what we needed to do to be in the place we needed to be in which made it possible for us to meet and be in the mindframe.
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