JUST THAT ONE DAY...
... days where there isn't enough alcohol to wash the memories of it away.
Watching Loleni Tonga, the fiancee of Chris Henry and the mother of their children struggle through this long minute or so clip settled in my heart. It is obvious that she did not mean for the consequence of their heated discussion to result in his death. Her grief is evident in every word, drenched with heartache, loss and regret.
At the break of this story, I wondered about the details of the event. Chris Henry had been a troubled cat both in college and as a professional football player. After being away from the game and the team for an entire season, he came back with a more appreciative sense of being able to play football. His once troubled domestic life was stabilized and he was going to marry the mother of his children. He had changed. He finally was beginning to 'get it'.
But it is hard to lose all the bad habits, all the ghosts that haunt your soul. It was planning his wedding where things started to happen. One of the ironies of that situation is that had he not been injured, he'd had been with his team, the Cincinati Bengals. And it isn't a stretch to say he would not have continued to mature and be a good team mate and a good father, along with eventually marrying and adding 'good husband' to his description.
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As I watched, I thought about the words she said at the end of the clip... 'it's just that one day'...
In her pain of having to live past that, I think about how much it hurts to live thru that day and how long those days are. To say that you have no choice sounds callous but it is also the truth. The minutes are ruthless and they march on with every second being the footstep of time.
You know, this is tough to write... not that I don't want to 'share' but that it hurts right now. A lot. Thing that attracted me to this particular story is that all of his hopes went up with him, Loleni's, and that of his Mother on that 'one day'.
Sure, I know. The broken tools get picked up and work will resume. At least I can imagine that this is how people were after any of my 'bad days'...
3 comments:
aw hon...I don't know a whole lot about your "bad days" but forgiveness is so importnat. for yourself. You gotta do it for YOU. I know it's hard...I'm working on that myself right now...but you gotta do it.
XOXOX
Heartbreaking story, at least what you told here of it ... and one I wasn't familiar with it up until now. It's intrigued me to do some more reading up about it.
first of all post names have been awesome, like titles of grindcore songs.
you just keep on being you mark. i am reading things between the lines that make me feel that you will be seeing cherry blossoms soon, you just have to get through the bitter of winter.
friend, you can do this.
xxalainaxx
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