FEELING GOOD ... ONLY NOT SO MUCH
It is weird because I would have describe things as 'less than good' before and thought nothing of it. But right now, I don't feel like much of anything. I haven't left the house for more than a few minutes at a time since I had to see the SFC go home and it has been a long and thoughtful week.
The flap over the President's address to the school's this week was a case where I think that the 'cognitive dissonance' of the different points of view obscured the real issue at hand. For me, it was all about the attempt to get children to particpate in something that smacked directly of tolitarian governments. 'What can you do to help the President' is totally different from asking 'what can you do for your country', or any of the other President's who have used the back -to- school speech as a place to bluster. That policy stuff flies over the heads of the children and we all know who the real targets are. The inclusion of children into the picture which is WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH THE SUGGESTED LESSON PLAN, is another erosion of the illusion that there isn't some sort of control of the masses going on.
When you look at some of the child soldiers and the other abuses of children in other places in the world, we don't think that stuff could happen here. We also wonder where does that kind of pathology begins. Same way I wondered how the world became the three giant super states in '1984', until the Patroit Act came flying through Congress. They already have 'Fortress England', with all the survailance going on there. Europe is united in its intra-boundary sqaubbles and in the old Soviet Union, they are bringing back Stalin. Asia has begun to rise and have their own interest as India, Russia and China are busy divying up Africa. They see America as ITS market place as much as anything.
But as I can feel the train lifting of the tracks and they undulate through an uneven landscape, I am going to stop. I think that 'conspiracy' more than secret clandestine groups meeting in dank old structure or meeting in posh Swiss resorts. But if you believe that things happen for a reason, then you have to believe that things ARE happening, and we don't know the reason, only that there is one.
IT WAS A MICHIGAN-NOTRE DAME GAME
I worked a swing shift job for a company in Carolina when I was hanging with the Delta Girl. She taped the ND-Michigan game for me. I rooted for the maize and blue over the Irish and because I was going to miss the game, I asked for her to record it.
The shift let out, and I got home around 4:30. We sat down and we watched the game, and it was low scoring, but Michigan stank. On paper, they had a better team but they don't play games on paper. They were at home, and I could not believe the ineptitude of 'the visionary genius' that was the Lloyd Carr coaching staff.
"Who won this game?" I asked in the first desultory quarter. Delta, being a good and observant girl, because who would go to the trouble of taping a game that they wanted to know who won, did not say. Notre Dame begin to take grip of the game in the second quarter, and angrily, I stood up and shouted, "Who won this freakin' game!?!" She looked back at me, stunned and a little fearfully (I think women use that 'doe in the head light eyes' thing to throw a brother off ... anywho ...) she told me that the Irish won.
"Oh", I said, calming down straight away. "I am going to get in the shower. Let's go to Raleigh and go to get a really nice dinner for a change." And that was that.
I don't know the final score of the Toledo-Colorado game, but I know the Rockets were up BIG. The win would be such a coup for the MAC, and it was interesting to watch it from the standpoint that a big boy was getting it handed to them on TV by such a small time program. I mean the Buffaloes were one of the top teams around at one point and time. They play in big time games against Nebraska, Oklahoma and Texas. Not only do they not lose to the Toledo's of college football, since when do they do 'home and home' with them? So it was a good deal for the Rockets.
My passion for sports in general has really diminished over time. Mookie and I used to go out to a sports bar to catch State games back when we actuallyliked each other ... but other than that, I don't know when I made sports appointment television. After all, it is one o'clock ... I am sure there is football on somewhere that I am not watching. And while ND and the Maize and Blue get it on this afternoon, with the Buckeyes hosting USC, I am not all that sure that I will sit in on the games, at least not in their entirety.
I really haven't felt up to much of anything this week. Been doing a lot of speculating as to 'why' that is ...
Is it just me, or has anyone else's hit count jumped by about a six thousand hit? I happen to keep a count of how many hits I get here, and it went from about 4200 to 11,000 over the course of a few days. What the hell is up with that? I do that, because some of the journals I read ask for a web site and I copy and paste the address of my journal in an email. I lable it 'hit count and link' and send it to myself. Whenever I come to a journal that asks for it, I open the email and there you go.
Who would be reading this stuff, and why the sudden interest? I do know that if you seach the Samuel Delaney novel 'Stars, like grains of sand in my pocket', there are entries from my journal on the first page. But who is looking for that book in large numbers? Anywho, just thought I would ask.