There was a comment made about it out here in bloggerville (heh, heh ... I said 'bloggerville'!) about the infamous tour rider that Van Halen include in their contracts for their shows. I heard the reason why they put it in on NPR earlier this summer. Like most things that Paul Harvey wasn't reporting on, the rest of the story rarely if ever, was told about that clause.
The thinking behind it, sort of started something going on in my imagination. Let's see if I can make sense out of things and right coherently.
FIRST, I DON'T JOKE WHEN I SAY STUFF LIKE THAT
For instance, after I go out to purchase a newspaper and later, dinner at BK, I AM NOT GOING OUTSIDE. Dealing with my conditions are sometimes like eating one of Mama's chocolate out of her box ... like she told Forrest, you never know what you are going to get.
Have had better months. I feel like I have been slogging thru the days and I will be glad when things clear up. Getting that screwed up notice at the end of July was the start of things going awry. It really, really bothered me. The SFC had already set things up for me to fly out and get things done with her (makin' moves, makin' moves!!). So before I had my accident, my line was starting to get wiggly. Because I was really, really bothered.
The references to my coherency isn't a neat turn of words. It is more like a truism. I mean, IT HAPPENS. Then having what has shaped up as being a bad spill on my bike, has not made things any better for me. One of the reasons I separate my 'issues' from my 'conditions' is that there are things that were already a part of me. For instance, my paranoia. At least that is what I call what I feel. See, that was a 'issue' before it was a 'condition'. And that is something that is hard for me to let go of.
Being 'happy-go lucky' isn't as easy or as pleasant as it sounds. Reality is about perceptions. I think that I have mentioned that whatever has motivated me to do what I have done or will do, has 'come to me' as much as I sat down and thought up what I wanted my next action.
In the spring and summer of my life it was easy to follow the line from the Kipling poem, and 'risk it all on one throw of the pitch and toss'. The tragedy of young life being taken, is that there is so much to look forward to. The thought that all the chances and opportunity for someone is gone ...
... isn't as different as the life changing decisions that young people make each and every day. And then the consequences of their decisions have such far reaching reprecussions that it can't imagined what has been put in motion. Certainly, things are relative. But I hope I made my point. You take your chance with whatever it is you do.
LIKE ADOLESCENCE, THERE WAS A REASON THEY DIDN'T LIKE BROWN M&M'S
Been 'relative' out of my mind. The reason that humans have long adolescence compared with other animals, is because we aren't born with the information we need to survive in the world period, let alone the one that man has created.
Before Van Halen did their tours, there was a reason places like Topeka weren't on the stops for major tours. The reason that smaller, off-Broadway kind of towns weren't on the tour list was that they weren't used to the big productions of major bands and the details that had to go into them. Van Halen would have huge productions, and people could get hurt and maybe killed if things weren't followed as they directed.
The contracts would go out to the indvidual venues and the promoters. Unlike going to a major city, like a Chicago or St. Louis, where you could expect a certain professionalism and attention to detail, you couldn't do that in the smaller stops. So you would add 'riders' like that, to make sure that the contract was read in detail. If the band went in and saw brown M&M's in the bowl, then they would know that OTHER details didn't get done. It wasn't about prima donna's being prima donnas. It was about professionalism and safety. They took their tours to the medium and smaller places where it may have been 'alright' if certain things didn't get done 'dress right dressed'. For one of their concerts, it could have gotten someone killed.
When I heard that story, I thought about Michael Jackson and that Pepsi Commercial. Would it have happened if someone had insisted that they have Coke on the set instead of Pepsi, not to be jerks but to make sure that people had paid attention to detail? Come on, don't you wonder about that NOW, since that was the reason given to why he became addicted to pain killers?
IT ISN'T THAT I DON'T CARE ...
Because if I did, I would be back doing my impression of Tigger. I care about things, but I can't let them matter more to me than caring about myself. Period. Not being a spring chicken, with issues regarding conditions and conditions that affect my issues, I want to be in a calm, rational state of mind. Today, I am not in that state of mind.
It sort of worries me, because I tend to wonder if this is the start of something else. Struggling with what is next, and 'pondering life's complexities', has been the start of this particular turn for me. I wonder if it has to be this difficult to where I want to go?
Apparently, it does.