First, a journal that is a really good read, IS LON'S JOURNAL, REFLECTION. This particular entry called to mind of what I had hoped would be an 'ESPN Sports Center highlight' for me and my girls. That it is as unlikely to happen as ever, doesn't bother me as much as you think. Still too much to live for to be worried about the things that may never happen. After all, you never really know how things will work themselves out.
Then BETH'S ENTRY ABOUT HEALTH CARE really grabbed my attention. I tried to leave a comment on it, but there was a confluence of obscure, from way out there thoughts, that were jumbling up in my head. So I thought I would take a crack at it here in my own spot.
Liberals are whiners and they are as full of crap as the right wing cats. But the illusion that they are working for a social good is part of what allows them to act in their suppression of the great underclass. I do feel they want things to be done with a sniff of superiority and a 'just because I think it is right, you ignoramus' kind of attitude. Never mind that they are a-holes too. They aren't going to trade in their lifestyle that allows for their overpriced hybrid vehicles, the free trade coffee they drink, or that crap organic food that comes from China and is a load of bollocks when they talk about how much healthier it is for you.
Not to mention the crap holistic 'we are all one body' garbage they talk about not eating meat. As soon as they come up with a reason why I shouldn't you my incisors for ripping into a good piece of cow or pig, beyond the soul thing (because that is where their particular hypocrisy begins for me) that 'Space Boy' and 'Moon Girl' talk about. Yeah, whatever. I like what Agent Smith called mankind in the Matrix, liking us as a 'virus'. WE are the only living being that need to bend and corrupt nature for us to live ... regardless to its effect on ANY OTHER ORAGNISM, including us.
The folks that Beth mentioned in this particular entry, are liars. Pure and simple. Russ, Newt, and stupid-a** Sarah Palin (I am sorry, but she should really shut up. She has never met a topic she couldn't mangle into a incoherent babble.) Along with that Katy girl and her view on the health care and dumb Joe the plumber, she makes no sense.
And mentioning Katy and Joe ... you will see the big problem that I have with the some of the conservative 'reg'lar folks'. They are intellectually incurious to the topics they are upset about. With the folks on the front lines telling them lies, what it means to me, is that they are stupid. For real. It isn't like they can make a comment that came from their own mind. They simply parrot what they hear from people that they trust. And like having friends who screw you over, whenever I am behind someone based on a lie that they are telling me, I get from being behind them.
For instance, not only did I warn my Army Sister that she could find herself in a crap place for a crap reason, like going to Iraq, I HAD to go somewhere for a crap reason. But I knew it, and I am glad that the Gov't had a cat like me to send. Period, end of story. After all, the tree huggers weren't going to trade their Birkenstocks for a pair of jump boots and the neo-con were finding every loophole that they could to not go.
I flat knew that I was expendable to them. Still, like boxing has been for me, it was well worth the risk. After all, I wouldn't have met my SFC had I not served my country ...
Oh, and another thing about the lies that the Neo Cons tell that the lies that differs from the left tell, is that the lefts doesn't get get my conspiracy V 3.0 program going, like the Neo Cons do. I mean, I cannot repeat enough, how much someone lying to me will make me stop right where I am, and go the other way.
LET'S TALK ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS
For instance, I can cop to most of the crap things I have done and I can be called bad names as well. Big whoop. I don't put it out there because I want to use that as a warning to anyone, so that when I screw you over I can say that 'hey, I am what I am'. Because letting you know what I once was capable of is only part of the reason I do it.
I haven't ever forgotten what I wanted to be in a relationship. Ever. The rest of that story is that I also tell what I hope to be with someone and with that, I will tell them some of the things that I know that will cause fail to occur in our relationship. Some of those discoveries have been hard learned, and came at a cost. Thing about it, is that I postulate, that if someone is willing to help me be a better person to them, then I figure it would mean I am a better person for myself. The 'dying for each other' is supposed to go both ways. Hopefully, will be understanding and forgiving to each other as we negotiate thru our lives committed to each other.
When I went to pick up my 'script for my high blood pressure, I did the free blood pressure machine. It was a good reading, 101 over 63. I am really going to have to get one of my own, because who really knows how accurate the ones at Meijer's and CVS really are. But those are way good numbers and I can live with that.
There was a sign there, and it talked about the 'what ifs' to having a stroke and its effects on the brain, the body. Memory loss, balance problems, paralysis, DEATH ... okay, I get it. If I don't take my medicine, I could be in trouble.
When I come back to why I wanted to and scoped out what was there for me out west, I keep thinking how I didn't want to become a hassle for anyone, period. I also felt that I would be more able to manage the total environment and whatever 'unknown, unknowns' that came from being out there.
For instance, sitting here pondering my change in format, to put things in a 'series' is a way I have decided to cope with what is GOING TO GO ON with me. Last week was all about finding my balance and coming back to 'my happy place'. I don't know how anyone can expect anything good to happen when they aren't even thinking that what good is there to occur in their lives. It is kind of like 'The Three Stooges' from Beth's entry ... I mean, they are cool with all their things. Does anyone who life is about the problems that aren't being addressed, think that they really give a hoot? I mean, THEY ARE LYING to you ... and that isn't just me spouting off, that is the TRUTH.
They keep people frightened, that the proposal changes is somehow bad for them. The irony of the dunderheads Katy and Joe, is that either they would meet the $250k threshold or THEY ARE DELIBERATELY LYING TO FOLKS AS WELL. This isn't to say that the left is totally correct in their solution, but it is an option to the status quo, which isn't working ...
... back on track, now. I do expect good things to happen for me, because I will do the necessary hard work to allow for them to happen. But to be able to allow for someone to come into my life and be close to me, is a concept that was falling out of favour in these parts. The way I connect the health care to my current tack, is that when you aren't thinking for yourself and trying to find out why a different point of view doesn't agree with yours, you do yourself a disservice. You have what I call, a CRITICAL THINKING APPARATUS, a CTA, i.e. , a BRAIN. Repeating things that people tell you and sounds is a set up for failure.
You can observe the good things about me. But I have to be honest about the things you don't see. Not only do I let folks know, when it comes with girls there is are caveats.
For instance, if you threaten me with violence, be prepared to defend yourself, FOR REAL. If you bring in a third party to hurt me, I will determine what will be a 'final solution' for YOU.
I believe in finding the best direction for the entire relationship. If something calls for me to 'take one for the team', I can do it. But it doesn't mean I am going to be a patsy. I know that the episode that Nebraska had brought up, the one I mentioned about Mookie leaving me to babysit while she went to Vegas was a partial play on that. It was also one of the reason I decided to leave her, and why I did it when I did. The team needed to be broken up.
So if you take advantage of that, then that is grounds for termination. And either you are going to be 'in it to win' or you aren't. You shouldn't have to make a habit of saying 'this or that' is what you gave up or sacrificed. That is a personal decision that you have to make for yourself. If you recognize that someone is crapping on you in a relationship, then YOU have do something to change the results. If you keep doing what brings you the same thing, then when do you take responsibility for you part in this? The other person has already let you know by their actions, what they have for you.
So if making sacrifices for the sake of the relationship is making you feel like a under appreciated patsy, then that IS what you are. When I felt that the lessons I needed to learn with Mookie had concluded, I got the hell out. No need to worry or gnash my teeth about her. I didn't do that with My Delta Girl ... and FOR SURE didn't do that with my ex wife.
And again, I will repeat the thinking that is behind me being as up front as I can. Yes Janice, there are PLENTY of skeletons in my closet. Help me WITH dealing with them instead of letting them take the win away from US.
I want to have figured out the lesson I had to learn and move on to bigger and more promising things. Like the birthday I have coming up in a few weeks. Anywho, that is it for now ... not like this hasn't been enough!!