... I GET TWO LOVES IN MY LIFE
So don't hate. I have always, always been grateful and appreciative as I could for people in my life. I have tried hard not to be judgemental and let a blanket cover my vision. When it does happen, I apologize and I try to clarify what I said. The clarification isn't to stay in good standing, but to force me to think about where it is I am, and why I believe what I believe.
'The ex-List' I have been going down, has alternately been about Tee Jay, Mookie, and with some of Nebraska sprinkled in. BUT the goal has been for ME to find my happiness first and foremost.
DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN BALL
To be able to f*ck with me, well, you can do that. It comes at a price, and you have to pay once you think you are done. I mean, I have to couch this a certain way, because of the audience, but I DO NOT let people cross into the 'f*ckin' with me' zone and not have there be repercussions.
I can't do what women do. Yeah, I talk about my ex wife jumpin' on me, but I never once said that 'if she keeps on hitting me, I am going to...'. That is because while I didn't enjoy it, I wanted to try to work things out. BUT ... when I had enough, I had it. You only have to cross that line ONCE. Like the story I linked up to the 'GPYP' journal, about the wife who was 'threatened' with divorce and got an attorney, I will 'let' you walk that aisle if you will...
It isn't about me making you regret anything. That is for your maker, not me. What I do, is represent for the CONSEQUENCES of your acts. You want to drop gloves with me, then you better be prepared to go.
NO, IT REALLY ISN'T LIKE THAT
It is about me asking for something and being able to recognize it when it arrives. I didn't label it, but I have said I wasn't asking only for a particular person, only that it was SOME person, preferably someone who knows me, or knows enough about me so that I can immediately resume going forward.
Just like Nebraska complains when I go over my worries (because, REDUNDANCY saves lives, dontcha know! So I DON'T CARE if I talked about something 100 times ... if I need to go over it, I NEED TO GO OVER IT!) and that is cool. What isn't cool is to be treated off handed, and again with Susan's post, it isn't about someone elses standard, but yours. In this case, MINE.
THE TWELFTH OF NEVER-UARY
Because compared to some folks, you could say I put up with a lot. I have had others put up with me too, so that goes both ways. Not for one minute do I hate on Mookie if she didn't see our future in part because of my condition. And again, it only means that I am meant for something else, something BETTER. Period, end of story.
Self-importance is so very unattractive if you aren't say, a President or Premier somewhere. I think that the common sense guide you were given as you matured, also came with a common sense of decency, where you would know how to treat and react to people.
I use the ol' pornography rule ... 'I don't know what it is, but I know it when I see it', for what I put up with. That is prolly a large part of why Susan's post caught my attention. I mean, if some of the stuff about me bothers you, that is sooo cool.
I do know how to leave you alone. And guess what, I will.
BUT, the stuff that bother ME, is just that, the stuff that bothers me. Needs no explination or anything. The only question is can you deal? If you can't, I don't need to ask more than the one time, do I?
SAID ALL THAT TO SAY THIS
I think it will keep for a couple of weeks, until I have a 'cabinet meeting'. Needless to say, 'things have changed'.