WHEN YOU WERE MINE(content ALERT!!!)
I was reading someone else journal, and they were talking about their first time. Do you remember yours?
That was something that I remember the '4 W's' to (the who, what, when and where). If you have to wonder 'why', then you have led too sheltered a life!!
Now, was it that big of a production? No!! It was a mess, and it immediately changed how I would think about the 'act'.
YOU LET ALL MY FRIENDS COME OVER AND ME
It was a house party at someone house, who knew someone else, who had keys to an empty house. At this point, I would like to establish how coincidence strikes in my life. My Best Aunt, who at the time, lived about two blocks from where the party was held, which was around the corner from my high school senior at the time, ex wife. We were in and out of the same neighborhood for YEARS before we actually met. I had always thought she looked familiar when I first met her, and then when I found out where her Grammy and her Mom lived ...
... at the party, the girl I would make my first, and my first girlfriend (we hung like rags for a semester, then got stupid) did not go to my high school. She went to Axel Foley High, and was there at the same time another person in my life was there ... TEE JAY.
... if you ever wonder why I kick over the ashes from my life, it is because FOR SURE, the answers to my future have been revealed to me ... I can make odd associations for BUNCHES of people in my life, then and RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW. I truly believe that I have enough answers to go on from here, that isn't just talk.
My first girl was a talented girl, she could sing really well. I would eventually go see her performe in a couple of school musicals. But that covers the who she was/how'd you meet part of things.
We would do the teen dating by phone, until one night she was like Maculay Caulkin, HOME ALONE. She asked if I could get away, and away I got!!
It was my first time, and there was pressure because she had been down the block already!! That DID NOT EVER BOTHER ME. Everybody's first time doesn't have to be someone elses first time. But as the guy, I guess the performance anxiety was pretty high. I was supposed to know what I was doing. I didn't know how to get out of my OWN CLOTHES, much get her out of hers!!
I remember she was cool about it, and she wanted ME. I can't forget that. She wanted me when she first saw me at the party, wanted me when we chatted on the phone, and obviously wanted me right then.
My wife messed all this up. I had only known about someone wanting to be with me, and me wanting to be with them. My first, the second, then Jenny in the service (after which, I began to roll up the stats), people had liked me A LOT. So when I met my ex, I felt like I had done enough 'dirt', time to settle down.
And that brings me to what I wish now that I knew then ... that everyone doesn't have to be as into you, to try to get with you. I have no real idea of why my ex wanted me. With my first girl, I didn't understand why she was so into me. I had been spoiled, because between the two, everyone did really like me, which is why I feel so lucky when it comes to relationships. The only person that did not like me, and I have told her to her face, is my ex wife.
Gee ... I was supposed to simply say who, how'd we meet, where it happened, and what do I wish I knew then that I know now.
AND YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO CARRY REGRETS
Go on and lie when you answer this question-- Norman Rockwell is a great painter.
He carried the burden of making quintessential Americana art, when everyone was raving about the European artist. He wasn't taken seriously as a Matisse or Picasso, mainly because everyone liked his stuff. He wanted to paint 'serious' stuff, but the commercial stuff paid better ... and I wonder if he wished that he stuck to his guns and painted the other stuff?
This cat was a serious artist. His subtle treatment of blacks in his paintings made me think that he was prolly more sympathetic than people know, than at least I know. You can see it in his art.
He painted so that you can feel what he felt observing whatever it was. One of my favourite pieces of his work, is his self portrait. He observes himself in three ways, in a 'shade' by a mirror, unfinished on the 'work' that his painter self on the canvas is creating, then as he sees himself. The folds on his shirt, his profile, everything was outstanding.
Hutch and I went together as I ran a couple of the errands for my Best Sister. Now she is going to have to do something on her end. It won't be done on my end, that is for sure.
MORE 'FRIENDS ON THE BACKROADS OF LIFE'
Not that I won't make any serious observations of any relevance to my life, but I aim to take it light for this summer. It is going to be tough enough getting my ducks in a row, to be dwelling on stuff for the sake of dwelling on stuff.
Not that I won't be making entries here, but my goal is to keep it light, hang with AKA and Hutch, and let time pass. So anyone new to this, may want to check me out here as well.