Saturday, April 18, 2009

RANDOM THOUGHTS

BUT IT ISN'T GOING TO MAKE MUCH DIFFERENCE

The Kreativ Blogger award has been slow in getting up and out on here. I have no idea of how to put it in my everyday blog, like how others have stuff up. I would like to show it, to let folks know that SOMEONE thought I was 'kreativ!

Thanks DB!

Hung out with yours and mine favourite sorority (wait, second ... no, third ... would you believe top ten? okay, twenty??) girl, AKA. She lured me out of the house with a trip to Royal Oak ... she wanted to do Birmingham, but I didn't want to have anyone with their noses in the air running into me on the sidewalk. When she saw that wasn't working, she mentioned 'Astoria' and while my mind said 'no', my stomach would not hear of it!!

Walked around a bit. Sometimes, she acts with a pretentiousness that I can smell on her, and I did not feel up to dealing with. But she is a nice girl, and had taken me to my doctor's appt., so I figured the least I could do is hang out with her. We had a nice time together, which doesn't surprise me. I was still 'sparking' from seeing the babies, my Army Sis and my Best Sis. Army flew from Kansas to Chi-town, and they drove over. Seems she had some stuff to do before she could leave the country, and dealing with the F.O.C, she also knew she had to hand-carry it, to insure it would be processed.

AKA pulled up while they were here, and she took pictures. Once I get them, I will post the up. While she stood as a fly on the wall, she got to hear about our plans ... Army to Korea, Best Sis, to either the Atl or Carolina, and me and mine, to Nebraska.

We were all giddy, and it made me glow to see the babies laughing again. My heart still tremors at the sight. Anywho, that leads us to today, and she wanted to hang around me like dog tags once did around my neck.

DID YOU KNOW ..?

I was once licensed to drive a two and-a-half ton truck? Even drove a REAL Humvee?

Not too often do I sit and natter about the things I have done, what I have accomplished. For me, it was a matter of course, and one reason that it took me a week to even put out that kreative blogger sign. Not just that I don't know how to put it up, permanently, but I don't like to claim anything. You tell me, and if you are right, then we go on. I already know what I am, so no worries.

Were someone to give me directions on how to put that sign up, so it can be seen by folks passing thru here, I would appreciated. Now, I can tell you not only 'what' isn't going to make a difference, but 'why'.

SHE KNOWS, SHE REALLY KNOWS ...

I could list flaws in AKA, and say 'see, that is why', but that would be cheap from me. If they show a problem with her, why is she still around? And believe you me, I have asked her myself ... not about her issues, but her issues of perception and how they reflect upon me.

Like Michelle N'dechello sang ... 'call me what you like ...', but I have tended to only answer to Mark. Been 'honey' and 'sweetie', a few times. But other than a term of endearment, if you ain't sayin' 'Mark', then you must not be talking to me. This isn't to say that I don't realize what I look like to some at first glance. But like the Milenium Falcon, if I get a chance to show what I can do, I may suprass your expectations.

Meeting AKA, getting to know her in the 'early rounds', I came away from her with this-- she is 'slummin' and isn't interested in me as anything more than a 'short term answer for a long time problem'. Fine, and I let her hang on the outskirts of my life. I figured she'd grow ill of me, my baggage, my strange ways. But I would find, not unlike Zero Mostel as he left for the forum, she would shadow my steps.

We have NEVER been boyfriend and girlfriend. In fact, the subject has come up so infrequent in our knowing of one another, that you can say we don't talk about it. My problem with 'her looking at me', is not only did she talk an image and display a certain stuck up style, she ran her mouth about, let's get to it, men with children by different women.

When I have faced this hurdle, I explain my situations and ask them what did they want to do? See, only volunteers for this tour, and I never put a charm school offensive on someone, or try to make it out to be anything other than what it is. At the time, she could see the issues that I had with Skye and her Mom, and the thing is, when it came to KT and Lexxie, we were going to do our thing.

So when I heard it from her lips on what she thinks about 'that', I figured we could be nothing more than friends, occasional bunk buddies (which I think I have mentioned before, was as fun as a tooth extraction). And that wasn't what I was looking for.

Not going to lie and say we didn't hang out or anything. There was always a distance I kept from her though. When I would have Skye, it was me and Skye, not me, Skye and 'daddy's friend'. Since I have been home though, things have changed for her. Don't ask me what, all I have for you is this, a stereotype for you.

YOU AIN'T GETTIN YOUNGER, YOU'RE JUST GETTING OLDER

Honestly, I think she only has thismuch more experience in relationships than Susan Boyle, the sensation from 'Britain's Got Talent'. Why? She has more issues than a few. Several of them are of the 'stop, do not pass' go variety. Meeting her family only CONFIRMED them.

Yup. You got it, I am saying 'Miss Stuck up' doesn't meet MY standards. Perhaps I will get into what ARE my standards ... but not here. Would rather let friends know that I think she clings to me, because I was the last cat to treat her like a whole woman, and not make her feel selfconscious about herself, of rag on her for whatever causes her insecurities and problems.

I don't have her strung along on anything. I have explained to her about why I am going to do what I am going to do, and she has been on the pre-Mookie and the post-Mookie side of my life, had it confirmed that I will pick up and go where I set my heart by family. And you know what it got me, letting her know some of what's what ..?

HER DAD DID A TOUR AT A AIR BASE IN SPAIN

Honestly, I worry that I have been chatting up stuff too much. If you are going to do something, you are going to do it! I have been trading emails with this cat I know who now live in Barcelona. I think in the pre-Mookie life, AKA got to meet him. Anywho, her Pops is retired Air Force, and was stationed in Spain.

One day, she saw me with some info on getting my benefits while overseas. She asked about it, and I told her. A few weeks later, she started talking about the soccer team in Barcelona, and other things that were relevant from her knowledge of Spain ...

... then another day, she visited and saw my stuff on Nebraska. Then, she made a joke about having a farm in ... so you see where I am going with this. Because I see where SHE is going with this.

Can't and shouldn't. Shouldn't and can't. And since there isn't much between them, there isn't enough to make a difference in how I feel about her.


5 comments:

Malagutigrrl said...

You're still my best read first thing in the morning man. You're better than ANYTHING on TV!
xo
MJ

Beth said...

Congrats on the award! You can put it on your sidebar (permanently) by clicking on "customize" up at the top, then "add a gadget" and then "add a picture." Paste the URL of the picture in there, and voilá!

So cool that you got to see your baby sisters! I bet they love it when you call them that, huh? I'll look forward to seeing pictures.

Hugs, Beth

a corgi said...

glad Beth gave you the directions on how to put your award up, Mark; congrats for it!

so glad you enjoyed your time with your family; so important to continue to be in contact with those that shared our younger years

I'm with you about not answering to anything but my given name; used to work in doctors' offices and when a patient would say "than you honey" I would be polite after they left or I got off the phone with them, I'd say, under my breath or in my mind "I'm not your honey". Rarely use terms of endearment either with those I love other than an occasional "sweetie" to the male child who resides at home.

(thanks for your comment on my blog; my hubby has a LoJack on his car, never even thought of getting something like that for the son's car; definitely looking into that :)

enjoy the day

betty

Indigo said...

Congratulations dear friend on your award. Wicked cool you had a chance to hang with your sisters. As for having someone that gets you, it's priceless. Yet there is a difference from somone getting you and accepting you. Not everyone gets that. (Hugs)Indigo

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Glad you got to hang with baby girls and AKA. Sounds like she is a friend, although one that you cannot fully let in. Having friends is important. Not sure about the bunk buddies part though.