SO LET'S SEE WHERE THIS GOES ...
Don't know where this came from, these 'strange invaders' in my thoughts. So let's see what's what. And if this runs long, I am apologizing here.
MOOKIE
Next month will mark a year since I left her. Other than a mail call back in September, I have not heard from her or lil' Mook. Did write and send lil' Mook a little card for Christmas ... did the same for her birthday last month. It was weird how she came into my thoughts ... she doesn't like Tyler Hansboro, one of the studs for Carolina. I don't know what last night would have been like in the townhome in the 'provincial town that I once jogged 'round', but I didn't get too lost in the thought.
The stray threads that I find regarding her are of no trouble at all. I feel confident in saying that this is going to be the shortest segment of all. I mean, it is o-o-o-o-h-k-k-k-k-ay. Sorta miss lil' Mook, but what am I expected to do? I have enough on my plate with out the making up out of cloth of stuff to be worried about.
Which is why these are strange thoughts to be in my head.
TEE JAY
Did we talk last month? Maybe, maybe not. Not that pressed about it, but she is linked to Mookie as without one, the other isn't in my mind. Since I think that this is part of my journey, I am wondering if I put enough effort into finding out if we could be something or not. The reason being is that because the whole enterprise of 'going back to go forward' does not make sense.
Yeah, I have been the bad guy ... I have had girls crying for that second chance ... in fact EVERYONE I have mentioned, save Nixxie, shed a tear and uttered those famous last words, "Please Mark, can we have one more chance, we can work it out", or something to that effect.
There are 'things' I know that I would have to deal with, in being a part of someone from my past life that I am not sure that I want to put up with. Maybe I could, maybe I can't. Then there are the famous "...things we know that we don't know", aspects of a relationship. This applies to the BOTH parties.
My liking someone and being head over heels isn't enough for me to break away from one of the few correct ideas that I have found roaming around my head. Yet, I have to wonder if it isn't the reason that I haven't found 'that person', because I have already met them?
So ... should I try to explore if there is something more between us?
4 comments:
I am NOT going there, Mark. That is your decision to make. I've told you that I'm the type that once I'm gone, I'm gone. No going back for me...so you probably don't want to hear my opinion, anyway!
Hugs, Beth
If you do not stick to your plan, then what has the last year been for?
So ... should I try to explore if there is something more between us?
If you have to ask than the answer is probably no...
I wish I had enough history to even pretend to offer advice. Unfortunately, even if you were both my BFFs, still only you would know the right answer deep down inside.
Then again, I could just say "YES! Go explore!"... so if things went wrong you'd have somebody to blame. LOL
Search your heart. That's where the real answers live... even the ones we don't want to hear.
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