THIRD RAIL CONVERSATIONS

OOH GIRL, NO YOU DIDN'T ..!

So my girl with the 'Tight Corset' has dated a few black guys before. Interesting.

And this is how I am going to discuss my issues with white girls. I don't have much experience with intimate relationships with them. I don't know why that is, just how it has worked. Am I open to being with someone who wasn't black? Sure I am, but what I HAVE BEEN TOLD, is that I am not 'hood enough' (and y'all think I use that reference cause I am not creative enough? YOU'RE RIGHT!), which is odd, because for some black women, I am not 'that' either!!

Also, I have wondered if I wouldn't be just an 'experiment' for someone. Maybe they are rebelling, doing something reactionary because they can do it. Shaking my head, because it is sooo hypocritical, but I once was worried that someone would be 'playing' me, as I would be trying to have a sincere relationship.

One of the things that have been mentioned to me by others, is that maybe a white woman would share more of my interests, socially and politically. Perhaps rabbit, perhaps, but then I think of Tee Jay and especially of Pecan Sandie (who is the only person in my intimate life who saw more in me, than I did myself), they were both surprised to discover what they once thought of was 'this' was actually 'that', and we were closer to one another, than we were apart.

Then there is the '8 mile Factor'.

Depends on the people doing the counting, but one thing I think there is a consensus on, is that I am in one of the top five segregated metro areas in the country. Sure, I think that there is someone here, someone white, that I could have a relationship with and we both be happy. Even as the racial tension has eased, it is still there at least present to me, and after all I am a creature of my perceptions.

I mean, I've gone places here and still don't run into any 'Corsets' to loosen *wink*. I don't think it is because of how I look, because a girl paid me a compliment Saturday that let me know I am still in style! But that was within the city limits, and it was a sister girl.

This get sooo complicated, and it shouldn't be that way. This is one of the rare areas in my life where I have sorta kinda accepted the default position. That said, if I were to ride out to the Westland Mall and run into 'Becky'... hey, I would be soo there! In fact, if Katrina Hancock was slummin' downtown Detroit and wanted to have some coffee after she did her sportscast, I would be there too!

DON'T FORCE IT

Whew! Thinking about this stuff makes my stomach roil! It gets confusing. Black girls who think I am not black enough, get mad at you for dating a white girl, who in turn wants someone to give her ... wait for it, STREET CRED, and lose interest in me. It gets a little dizzying, and I don't over concern myself with it.

The process for me has been as follows: Work on myself. Seize the opportunity when it comes. Not that difficult at all. I like that formula, and while I tweak it a little, essentially, I keep to that script.

Nebraska had asked something akin to Dr. Phil's 'how's that workin' for you?', regarding my results, considering I gave so much in my relationship with Mookie. I shrugged my shoulders ... I don't think she really understood that I was discovering so much about myself as it, my relationship with Mookie wound down to its conclusion. I was tired of tasking others, and not know if I could endure things. I mean, I am confident and all that, but there is something about finding out how tough, strong and resilient that I can be, that is a big part of my character.

I haven't let what is outside of me conscioulsy drive my choices. I am what I am, because this, this is what I am. Not because of peer pressure, either making me join in, or turning me away from things. What I did, I chose.

Remembering how it came to me to box ... to jump out of helicopters ... to get Tee Jay's number! I chose all of those things.

It made sense to me to leave a 'line' out for Nebraska, to keep her in my life. I chose to see what would happen if I tried to 'go back' and expect to move forward. I know how BAD an idea that is ... but I didn't choose it, as much as it was brought to me.

SAID ALL THAT TO SAY THIS

I'd rather be working on my little story. I'd rather be talking about the feelings that I get seeing President Barack Obama. I thought I wouldn't feel a little extra 'kick', but I do. Hey, I am a normal cat, not some Persian or Siamese! I think that he is really going to be a good leader, BUT am I the only one that thinks this phony war on terror, the battles in Iran and Afghanistan, will do to us what Afghanistan already did to the old USSR?

Would have rather talked about the great Ga. Tech - Georgia game, or the fight that was on ESPN Classic. Talk about training, which is still going on for me. There are other good things happening, that I would rather be chatting that up. But I guess there is more to say going this way ...

Oh, Carolina - State at Ford Field, playing basketball Wenesday night ... I am soo there!