My Hat, My Gloves, and the ticket to the Game!

YES VIOLET, I KNOW ...

...because I was there. State was CRUSHED by Carolina. I went 'straight Sparty', with my State hoodie and hat on. Oh, for local readers, Alaina and Tawnya (oh come on ... if those aren't 'Gentleman's Club' employees names ... I get jittery typing them!!), I RODE MY BIKE ALL DAY YESTERDAY. I locked my bike up in the Compuware parking structure, across from the Skillman Library. You both know how dreary and miserable it was around here yesterday. And this is going to be a long entry, longer than most, because yesterday WAS for me, longer than most. But it was worth it!!

First, Wenesday night was time to get everything prepped and ready to go. I was unsuccessful in finding my 'bag o' hats', where I keep my knit scully together. I also had a full knit hat that I wanted to wear, because I knew it was going to be a long, wet day. Didn't find either one.

Also, I couldn't find my new gloves. I had them FOR SURE Tuesday when I came in ... where were they in the house? I have other gloves, but I would have preferred the one I was looking for. The frustrating thing about it, is that all of this stuff should have been in the house, specifically in my room ...

... not to mention the ticket to the game.

LOOKING FOR WHAT SHOULDN'T BE THERE

I clearly remembered putting it in my safe when I brought it home, and I instructed myself not to even look at it until game time, because I felt that by peeking at it, I would have started to 'mug things up', and when I need ed to pull it out ...

... well, that happened anyway. I went to sleep, thinking that I was NOT going to have my day ... and that kind of brought me down. But one of the things that is a part of my 'new normal', is that I have to IMMEDIATELY face and deal with 'what's what'. If I don't, my anxieties will eat me the hell up. My anxieties are NOT your anxieties. Please unless your are MJB, I don't think you really understand. Gee, sometimes I DON'T UNDERSTAND (which makes going to Chicago last year all the more impressive... Nebraska put up with that mess!), I can only say that I deal with them.

What would I tell someone in my situation? I would say that no matter what, you have a choice ... you can decide to lay in bed, and fritter the day away, or you can get up, get into what you were going to do, and SEE WHAT HAPPENS. This is not final, just get into your day, and let what happen, happen.

First up, go pick up my EBAY purchase. I listen to an old school Panasonic Shockwave walkman, because it is a sports version that keeps time and sounds a beep on each minute. It happened that the seller (I have to leave feeback today) was from the Motor, and lived nearby. We met at the Mickey D's on Grand River near Southfield, in Rosdale Park. Then I headed up Grand River to my new bike shop, one that I used to used when I lived in 48219. Got my bike worked on, but it cost more money that I thought ... waited for it and paid it, because hey, I wasn't going to the game, was I? I didn't need to keep the money I saved for T-Shirts and overpriced programs, did I?

From there, I rode ALL THE WAY to the Fairlane Green Shopping Centre in Allen Park. I had some stuff out at the TJ Maxx on layway that needed to be picked up. Got it, the stopped in Bed, Bath, and Beyond, to check on my next purchase, a Nautica bedding set. Then I took my stuff home.

Got home, and spoke with my Dad. Told him I still hadn't found my ticket, so it was unlikely that I would be going anywhere. Bought a nice robe and a couple of dress shirts (I like to have formal stuff, in case I need get 'smooth'!) and some underwear. Nothing too fancy. Put them away, and started to wonder where was what I was looking for?

The gloves and the ticket (the hats have gone missing before, and I have other to wear) getting to me. I had such STRONG memories of their last moments on the grid ... they HAD to be in the house, in my room, SOMEWHERE. Facing a long, drawn out day of staring at the walls, the moment came again. Give in to the tendrils of despair that was winding around me, or keep on going.

Rather than looking for what SHOULD be in a place, I looked for things that SHOULDN'T be where they WERE. My gloves turned up in a jacket that I had worn the day before. One down, one more to go. I opened my safe, and because I had only seen the tickety once, using the same technique, I went through each item, asking myself if it belonged where it was. And eventually, I found something that didn't belong where it was ... THE TICKET!

This was around 4 p.m., so I showed it to my Pops, and told him I will be going down about 7, to the game. My step sister was at the house when I left for the game, and she was like, "You are going to ride your bike?" I told her, "Sure, becasue I don't have wings to fly!"

And I was off!

THAT KIND OF STUFF HAPPENS TO OTHER PEOPLE, NOT TO ME

I did have some concerns, as when you are out riding in the wet, you risk getting a flat easier. But I had come so far, that I felt that I was not going to be deterred. It wasn't 'bad', extremely light sprinkles, not enough to call it a rain. So I did my thing, all the way there.

Getting in wasn't just a walk through. I carry a messenger bag (i.e. a 'man purse' as the female security called it ... she also gigged me for my journal and my nail buffing stick! Too funny!) The whole event had me soo excited that I completey had overlooked one very important thing ... LARGE CROWDS.

Even though it was relatively empty for a big game, it was understandable given the current econmics AND the apathy in Detroit (another TANGENT ALERT), still it was a bunch of people ... and Ford Field is even bigger looking on the inside than it is from the outside! I had forgotten to call ahead to make arragnements, but they sent me to guest services.

I want y'all to know, it is not easy to admit to people that you need help. My ticket would have put me clear on the other side of where I entered from. Getting there and back safely was going to be a trial. But the worker at guest services squared me away, having my seat changed to one right near the gate. The usher walked me to my seat, talked with an older cat who was originally from Salisbury, NC about stuff, and was able to relax.

TOOK THE LONG WAY BACK

The master woodsman, after instructing his trainee on smaller tree, now sent him to the top of a tree of great height. He said nothing as he scaled it, and it wasn't until he descended to a point at which he could have jumped from the tree, did he cry, "Okay, watch your step!"

An observer remarked, "When he was in mortal danger at the top of the tree, you said nothing. Now, when he is almost safe, you give warning. Why?"

The woodsman turned to the observer and said, "When his life was in peril, I knew that he would rely on his training to keep him safe. But when he came down and was near the end, he may have been feeling good, and might not have been paying as much attention. MISTAKES ARE ALWAYS MADE AT THE EASY PLACES. So I got his attention.

So I found myself on my bike, hungry ($4.50 for a soda pop?!? I think not!!), and 15 miles from home (for the record, MOST of my rides are in the 15-20 mile range ... I just knock 'em out!). I wanted to feel a little proud of myself ... but I didn't. I wanted to ride to the nearest White Castle, get some gut busters, and fall alseep. This would mean taking a street that I normally don't take ... adding to the 'difference' that happens at night.

At night, everything looks different to me. How different? To the point where I could not 'know' where I am. I still remember once when Mookie and I had an argument, and I left the house ... and it was like a child running away. Fortunately, she still was in love with me, and let me come home. Guess you could say that was when that 'seed' sprouted ... don't remember its planting.

So it would have been hard enough going straight up Grand River. That I was going to 'turn off' and go in a different directon ...

... "Mark," I said, "you do know the name of the STREETS you are looking for?"

And I did. I knew west was west, north was north. I only had to go west until I saw the street and from there go north until I got home. Period.

Because Michigan has a bottle deposit law, and I carry shopping bags with me to place them and I return them eventually. More importantly, I think it makes me 'look the part', and less of a potential 'prey' animal out in the wee hours. Maybe, maybe not, but I do it. So I had about $3 in empties rattling around as I rode my bike. Got to White Castle, and the cat on the drive thru hooked me up, when he didn't have to even take my order. Got home ... and smiled the biggest freakin' smile I could!! From such depths, I climbed and climbed until I MADE MY GOOD DAY GOOD!! That it was hard, didn't matter. That it was long (uh, I had schedule a run for yesterday ... so I was up at 5:30 a.m.) and it was hard, means one thing -- IT WAS WORTH IT!!

So I am happy for myself, because I found and made my day. I am looking forward to taking these small steps, taking enough of them until I am 'there'. I will prolly read and answer some stuff ... hey, I am all good. Tee Jay and I are going to see 'Nick and Norah's ...' at some dollar movie house somewhere in the O.C., think she said something about 14 mile and Dequindre. THAT IS FAR.

And yes Millie, in the spring, I will be riding out there on my lonely!