Tuesday, September 30, 2008

... don't know about you ...

... but ONLY because of what is going to happen to our journals ..!

... with AOL journals.  As this and that (as if this and that were related) as I am, full of arrogance and hubris along with modesty and insecurity, I am not wanting to let any of you go.  Makes me wish that I could have been keeping up with everyone's journals ... makes me, I don't know ...

I know what good bye are like, and I don't like saying them.  As certain as I am of never going back to Mookie, I didn't tell her 'good bye' ... didn't tell my EX WIFE good bye ...

There is someone who sometimes stops by from Arizona ... let me tell you that I have been in Arizona several times, all boxing related, once I was in the Army and boxing at Ft. Huachuca.  I remember the time I fought for a few grand, saw a nice used car and thought ... and thought ... and thought ...

... but I came on home.  '60 minutes' did a piece about some resort in Arizona, and I thought at that moment, if I could get a job there ... I have a notion that I could find my way out there ...

... back when I had a couple of dollars, I once help some chat room friends get together in Vegas for a Morrissey concert there ... one was a English girl from ... wait for it ... MONTANA ... so there is a affection for Bozeman as well ... not necessarily to live, but still ... just saying ...

... KC-O and the whole Nebraska - Kansas thing has been explained ... Dreamt about one, served in the other, and great I-backs and Sam Lacey and the Kings provided that imprint ...

... still in the lead ... poll taken has it at a steady 70% and climbing ... and you are aware of how the '80 - 20' rule works ... mine is set at '85%', still the same effect ...

When I came out here, it  was to find a friend and to be a friend ... I tend to shy away from online folks, not because I am scared, but because I think that some people really are out here trying to hurt people, and they are weak individuals who could never muster up the hate and venom they spew on line ... that is why I don't worry about someone doing their 'read and burn' thing to me ... youthrow the outlier out of the data set anyway, and I am good at that ... so I trusted my instincts and here I am ...

But geez ... I am going to miss you guys ... people who read and don't comment (cause I know that some do that too!), of course there are a few who I honestly feel close to, and I hope that they sense that, and feel likewise about me.  I promise that I wouldn't take up much space, and I won't each much (though homemade chocolate chip cookies are off the table!) and I clean up after myself ... no, I am not handy with fixing things, and if you give me a power tool, you will be setting yourself up for a manslaughter charge, cause you have just killed me!

Not even sure that I will 'journal' again ... because I ... right now, the emotions are too strong ... so I can't make a promise of any kind ... don't even know where I am going to 'go'.

The story in a recent entry, of when I was at the airport in Kansas City, getting ready to fly home with my friend who was going to wherever he was going ... I HATED THAT ... I should have traded information, wrote him or called him ... and who knows what would have happened ... that is why this is getting to me ...

That cat doesn't know what he meant to me ... I can't recall his name, but I can still see his face in the airport lounge ... like him, you all have kept me from being lonely, guided me to a place where I can stand and see the promise that I believed in, but couldn't see from where I was at ...

Without a doubt, I will miss Russ, who brought most of y'all here.  I want to meet him, since I plan on moving out his way ... I don't drive, but if the bus driver lets me pack my bike ... I know I can cover the Kansas City area ..!

So I want everyone who reads this journal, with its name inspired by a story of a bleak future (yet jumbled, to avoid infringment issues!), to know that I will miss them and I have appreciated their participation in this leg of my journey in life, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

5 comments:

luvrte66 said...

Mark, hang in there, hon. Don't bury your blogging just yet! It's still kickin'! You obviously enjoy it as much as Ken and I do, and many others, and we enjoy your friendship and your writing. I'm getting the impression that AOL will transfer our archives to Blogger (nothing definite yet, though), so all your previous writing will be there. Give Blogger a try before you say adios completely!

Love ya,
Beth

rdautumnsage said...

You know I'm sending you a link to where I'll be and yeah I expect to see you there. In any event you know you can email me anytime...friends don't forget each other that easily. At least I don't! (Hugs)Indigo

lv2trnscrb said...

I'm taking this as a sign to stop journaling, Mark; I've been spending a lot of time here; too much time and putting it first over lots of other things including my relationship with the Lord; so I'm not going to move to another spot to journal; its been a pleasure following your blog and becoming your friend, and I do thank Russ for highlighting your journal; indeed that is how I found it :)

(I'll definitely still send you the book; look for it :)

keep in touch as you can :)

betty

dougsbabygirl31 said...

I have a couple of journals on Blogger, so I will try it there and see. I am really upset, beyond words about this.... I just found out about it today....

Tawnya

buckoclown said...

Mark, I hope you will join us at Blogger and keep our journey going.  You have become a good friend, and your writing is important to you and others.  So, come to our new community at Blogger.

http://buckoclown.blogspot.com/