Saturday, August 23, 2008

...it was in a thought balloon ...

... there aren't any doubts ...

This is something that I had thought I shared, but didn't, about my feelings for Nebraska (the person).  Here it goes:

ONCE IN A LIFETIME

When I was dressin' in OD Green, me & this young E-6 Indianpolis would make stupid jokes about the South, saying it was where 'Mister Charlie can kick a brother in the teeth, and the brother will say, "Thank you, Mister Charlie, thank you!" Substitute 'love' for Mister Charlie, and I think that is pretty spot on.

The Proclaimer sang it;  I have LIVED it and am willing to do it again.  If Nebraska doesn't get it ...

...that will have to be cool.

I like to believe that I have caught 'lightning in a bottle' a couple of times in my life.  The first time, it was with My Delta Girl and I was flying by the seat of my pants.  The 2nd time, it was with Tee Jay, and I MEANT to find love with her.

Last fall, meeting Nebraska, confirmed everything that matter to me, was telling me about her.  Trying figure out how I fit in her life is going to take pure, blind faith.  She has already said ... well, I won't say it myself, then the words would become more solid.

TAKE ME OUT, TONIGHT

I don't drive ... she was 'the wheel' while we were together.  The second I laid eyes on her at the Greyhound station, until we said our good byes, it felt like I was floating, being in the prescence of what was a dream come to life.

My mind was full of all the good things that I had to store away, since Mookie wasn't willing to share any of them.  To be honest, I don't know IF she had any, even after asking her.  But I can hear in Nebraska's voice that there are plans and hopes, as well as the willingness to sacrifice to make them happen ...

When we driving around, though it was unfamiliar for her, I knew that she would get us there.  She has such a competence to her, that created the expentancy I have in my heart to get west, to live and to love and share time with her.  I can see the two of us growing together and experiencing what I will selfishly say would be the kind of love that happens when people who should be together, find each other across the miles.

The moment on the Navy Pier, with Lake Michigan in the background framing her, in that instant she was the most beautiful woman I had ever scene.  It felt as I looked at her as though my heart had become a butterfly and spread wide its wings, I was so full of her.

...in leaves no step had trodden black ...

I have no idea what is going to happen when I see Tee Jay.  The Wall of Vodoo song, "Call of The West" has been a personal theme song for me since jr. high, when I realized that Detroit was were I may have been BORN but it isn't my HOME.  In fact, I have an echo of wanting to be a running back for Nebraska and thinking I would live in Kansas City ... I wonder why I didn't, go to Nebraska for school at least?  How much different would it have been from choosing Carolina?

Would I havemet THE Nebraska if I had?  I know I would have, because I am supposed to have met her ...

Right now, I am just letting the days go by ... my best niece is doing a better job at being 'my daughter' than I would have thought.  She really likes me, and I really love her.  She is a good little girl, and I wouldn't mind ...

... would not mind having her come visit me in Nebraska.  Got to keep our focus, keep the main thing, the main thing.  And that is getting to Nebraska.

6 comments:

malagutigrrl said...

I can feel Nebraska waiting for you...
:D

buckoclown said...

Navy Pier is a wonderful place.  I proposed to Beth at the top of the ferris wheel there.  Good luck in you Mister Charlie endeavors :o)

luvrte66 said...

"It felt as I looked at her as though my heart had become a butterfly and spread wide its wings, I was so full of her."

That's one of the most beautiful things I've heard. I'm hoping you can catch lightning in a bottle again...

Love ya,
Beth

lv2trnscrb said...

oh my gosh, Mark, I hope you get to Nebraska sooner than later; I hope you can adjust your timeline up a bit to get there; this was a beautifully written entry of your love for the woman Nebraska; I love your descriptive words "it felt as I looked at her as though my heart had become a butterfly and spread wide its wings, I was so full of her"; wow!

betty

toonguykc said...

Well now I've got a handful of 80's songs in my head.  Thanks, man.  ;)
I hope you find as many bottles of lightning as you want, Mark!

love,
Russ

rdautumnsage said...

The thing about coming in late to the party, is everyone else has already used the sentiments I may of...This was beautifully serene. If two hearts are meant to be together, they will find a way. Hope you find yours to Nebraska my dear friend. You deserve to catch enough lightning in a bottle to last a lifetime. (Hugs)Indigo