Monday, June 23, 2008



This isn't a 'war' but a 'fight'.  A long one, a hard one, but a fight nonetheless.  I wanted to keep the sense of desperation that being in combat holds, but the closest I came to that, was nowhere near what cats are going through in Iraq.  Also, I think that it overstates things unecessarily too.

An old school fifteen rounder for a championship belt may suffice.


I have called her that since high school.  Don't know why, just have.  Nebraska says I can't come up with a nick name for her ... spoil sport!  Anywho, we actually didn't go to the same high school, she went to a parachoial school and sometimes caught the same bus as me home.  She had (has) agreat personality, and close friends.  Her family is cool, and she is the oldest of 3 fairly well adjusted children.  Her younger sister is a principal in a Oakland County school system, and the youngest, her brother is doing alright.

I actually got along with her extended family, as they are fairly close, getting together for all the big holidays and whatnot.  Anyway, we would ride the bus, and she would get on with other cheer leader girls, in their cute outfits and I would just look ... finally getting the cojones to actually talk with her.  She dated one of the stars on her school football team, but I went on liking her anyway.  We would become friends.

Twice we tried to be more than friends.  A week when I got home from the service, and then much later in my mid thirties.  The second start is what I am going to chat about now.


I don't like the word 'effeminate' as it connotes something that would be inaccurate.  the word 'metrosexual' was passe at birth.  I just like being 'Mark, a jumble of neuroses and insecurities just like you!'

Having to figure my way around people to fit in(and not to get jumped on!) Is something I just picked up, and got to dealing with.  I have never really been good a cliques, and I don't recall ever having a tight group of friends.  Again, being on the fringe is nothing new, and I am sure that I share that with a lot of people, who are just trying to hang on.

The Skimmie and I was doing our 'girlfriends' thing, and I took a chance and asked her if she wanted to up the ante in our relationship.  So we sat and talked it out, laying out what we thought was relevant.  Then she asked me, what I thought was a crap question.  I never really got over it.  It just lingers between us, unaddressed.

I had forgotten that I gave her my cell number, so excited I was to join the 21st century.  Been taking pictures of myself and of the town, just don't know how to get them posted.  Anyway, so we ended up talking, a little about me, a lot about her.

Not wanted to sound all egotistical, especially considering that I must have been forgettable to Mookie (who hasn't called, thanks for asking! :)), but in talking with my First Wife, and now the Fly Skimmie, I was startled at how many positive references were made to our relationship.  The Skimmie is with some cat who is on hard times (aren't we all?) and is just not her cup of tea.  What is with that?!?  Why do people hang out with folks who they KNOW are not the one to be DATING let alone to make a future with?

I told her that she runs the risk of getting stalked by some out of work, wish he was kind of a guy, who is trying to latch on to anyone before his home equity (he lives in Rochester Hills) runs out.  Again she made a direct comparison, saying how even though I can't dance (not to save my life) or handle alcohol (not more than two drinks), that I would take part of her family social thingies, or even going out with her friends, and how this potential stalker cat was too stuff to do those kinds of things.

So I did what good friends do, and listened to her carp about it.  She was going to see a friend of hers who had just gotten married to a nice guy.  I could imagine what she was feeling.  Skimmie is a super successful in her field, doing low six figures, and wondering why it hasn't happened for her, a relationship and someone to love.

I can understand where she is coming from.  She spoke of hoping he either had children or would be open to adoption if her potential partner wanted a family, and she would be comfortable being a mother, even without being the biological parent.  Nothing she would say sounded too much different from what I or from what most people want.

Though it occured to me in a flash, WE could have had that life, or something like it ... if you hadn't asked such a stupid, stupid question.

Or still be selfish when you are talking with me.

The time went by, she had to go make her date and eat her heart out.  As for me, I am cool.  Sorta like the cat in the Dead Milkmen's 'Badger Song'.

Out in the woods

Up to no good

I wanna be friends with the Badger


The woodchucks like me

We smoke PCP

I wanna be friends with the Badger!


malagutigrrl said...


You sure are good at cliffhangers!

luvrte66 said...

I have a guy friend--big guy, too--who always jokes that he's more of a girl than most girls he knows! He isn't "effeminate" in any way, but just likes to talk about his feelings, stuff like that. It's no wonder that he has a lot of female friends.

"The Fly Skimmie." What a cool nickname!

All my best,

lv2trnscrb said...

do we get to know what the question is? she seems like a really nice lady. isn't it amazing how we do hold someone's words for a very long time?

in case you don't post for a bit since computer time is iffy for you, I'm going to be away from journals 06/25 through 07/01 since my dear friend is visiting

take care of yourself


buckoclown said...

Interesting entry, nice way to leave us wanting more :o)

rdautumnsage said...

Real what was the question? (Boy, don't I sound like an echo about right now with the other comments that were left)...(Hugs)Indigo

mpnaz58 said...

I read this a couple of times, and never came up with the question.  What am I missing?  Then I read the other comments (sorry, I couldn't help it)...and guess I'm not alone.  SO...what was the question????
xoxo ~Myra

abaleman666 said...

fly skimmie sounds cool.  i know what you mean, hanging on to the what ifs and maybes with the d instead of finding myself a decent dude.  i will say that i think letting the d pass out in the car and leaving his ass there was one of the better decisions  i made in a long time.  i am not anyone's mommy for a reason  and i dont have time to babysit a grown ass man!  anyways thats whats nice about being back in the place you are from, you get to renew and rewind.  and sometimes the outcome is different.  

our school is trying a summer school pilot program for title one aid recipients but they opened enrollment to all and made it 'summer enrichment'.  we talk a lot about the habits of successful people and are working on different strategies to increase their confidence as students.  

enjoy summer in the D!

toonguykc said...

People seem to think gay men understand women for some reason.  I'm here to tell you WE DON'T.  They are just as confusing to us as they are to you straight dudes. Wish I could help!  ;)