REFRAMING THE SITUATION
This isn't a 'war' but a 'fight'. A long one, a hard one, but a fight nonetheless. I wanted to keep the sense of desperation that being in combat holds, but the closest I came to that, was nowhere near what cats are going through in Iraq. Also, I think that it overstates things unecessarily too.
An old school fifteen rounder for a championship belt may suffice.
THE FLY SKIMMIE
I have called her that since high school. Don't know why, just have. Nebraska says I can't come up with a nick name for her ... spoil sport! Anywho, we actually didn't go to the same high school, she went to a parachoial school and sometimes caught the same bus as me home. She had (has) agreat personality, and close friends. Her family is cool, and she is the oldest of 3 fairly well adjusted children. Her younger sister is a principal in a Oakland County school system, and the youngest, her brother is doing alright.
I actually got along with her extended family, as they are fairly close, getting together for all the big holidays and whatnot. Anyway, we would ride the bus, and she would get on with other cheer leader girls, in their cute outfits and I would just look ... finally getting the cojones to actually talk with her. She dated one of the stars on her school football team, but I went on liking her anyway. We would become friends.
Twice we tried to be more than friends. A week when I got home from the service, and then much later in my mid thirties. The second start is what I am going to chat about now.
THE SPACES BETWEEN PLACES
I don't like the word 'effeminate' as it connotes something that would be inaccurate. the word 'metrosexual' was passe at birth. I just like being 'Mark, a jumble of neuroses and insecurities just like you!'
Having to figure my way around people to fit in(and not to get jumped on!) Is something I just picked up, and got to dealing with. I have never really been good a cliques, and I don't recall ever having a tight group of friends. Again, being on the fringe is nothing new, and I am sure that I share that with a lot of people, who are just trying to hang on.
The Skimmie and I was doing our 'girlfriends' thing, and I took a chance and asked her if she wanted to up the ante in our relationship. So we sat and talked it out, laying out what we thought was relevant. Then she asked me, what I thought was a crap question. I never really got over it. It just lingers between us, unaddressed.
I had forgotten that I gave her my cell number, so excited I was to join the 21st century. Been taking pictures of myself and of the town, just don't know how to get them posted. Anyway, so we ended up talking, a little about me, a lot about her.
Not wanted to sound all egotistical, especially considering that I must have been forgettable to Mookie (who hasn't called, thanks for asking! :)), but in talking with my First Wife, and now the Fly Skimmie, I was startled at how many positive references were made to our relationship. The Skimmie is with some cat who is on hard times (aren't we all?) and is just not her cup of tea. What is with that?!? Why do people hang out with folks who they KNOW are not the one to be DATING let alone to make a future with?
I told her that she runs the risk of getting stalked by some out of work, wish he was kind of a guy, who is trying to latch on to anyone before his home equity (he lives in Rochester Hills) runs out. Again she made a direct comparison, saying how even though I can't dance (not to save my life) or handle alcohol (not more than two drinks), that I would take part of her family social thingies, or even going out with her friends, and how this potential stalker cat was too stuff to do those kinds of things.
So I did what good friends do, and listened to her carp about it. She was going to see a friend of hers who had just gotten married to a nice guy. I could imagine what she was feeling. Skimmie is a super successful in her field, doing low six figures, and wondering why it hasn't happened for her, a relationship and someone to love.
I can understand where she is coming from. She spoke of hoping he either had children or would be open to adoption if her potential partner wanted a family, and she would be comfortable being a mother, even without being the biological parent. Nothing she would say sounded too much different from what I or from what most people want.
Though it occured to me in a flash, WE could have had that life, or something like it ... if you hadn't asked such a stupid, stupid question.
Or still be selfish when you are talking with me.
The time went by, she had to go make her date and eat her heart out. As for me, I am cool. Sorta like the cat in the Dead Milkmen's 'Badger Song'.
Out in the woods
Up to no good
I wanna be friends with the Badger
The woodchucks like me
We smoke PCP
I wanna be friends with the Badger!