Friday, June 20, 2008

It's All A Work In Progress


I heard second hand that Tim Russert's son said his Father told him every day that he loved him.  Good deal, and I will do that with my oldest girl.

The phrase, 'glory and doom', is borrowed from a Thor comic book, when he was faced with super terminal odds ... that was the best he could hope for.  My attitude regarding my girl is similiar.  I don't think she will ever forgive me, but I hope to just be allowed in the back of the hall of her life.  Everyday that I can, I will either write, call or text her with those words.

She hasn't called me, but it is very early yet.  It is going to take effort for me to win favor in her eyes, and I want to do what I have to in order to make that happen.


Libraries and me have been friends for a long time.  I can remember feeling lucky when I was stationed in Taegu, because the library was right next to my barracks!  When I was in college, for a little while, I was LIVING in the school library, as it was always open, and I didn't have a place to stay (for a semsester ... I just WENT to Greensboro ... I didn't get enrolled until I showed up ..!).

In fact, one of the things that I measure places by, is their library and places of art.  It isn't that I am highbrow, but a certain amount of culture and how accessible it is, says a lot about a place.

The thing that REALLY drags down Detroit is that the libraries aren't kept up by the city nor treat well by the patrons.  Magazines are often torn or stolen right after they are set out, and the borrowers of the books return them at lesiure. 

The music scene can't be beat though.  Everywhere else is running for second place.  Even with the social lines, the fairs and civic functions are alright, though as for that, I have seen better.  It is an ok place, I reckon.  Guess I am saying that because I grew up here.  The look on Pecan Sandie's face the first time she hit the D, was priceless I tell you, priceless!

Yeah, I have been 'depressurized'.  I am home.


... and the place you live.  The three biggest choices a person makes in their lives, and when it comes to choosing the places you live, more thought goes into the car you buy, than the place you live your life.

I like to think that my Mom made sure that we thought outside of the Metro Area when it came to settling and living our lives.  For me, it was a given, as I always was either fighting WWII battles in the woods behind our house, or talking about boxing in Italy (ooh, there was a cat from there in the '80's ... can't catch his name ... it was a brother, and he fascinated me ... Europe is/was sooo cosmopolitan!).

Hopefully, in about five years, I will be up for going somewhere overseas.  I have went back and forth about it, because I have real worries about being somewhere that America isn't on good terms with, and right now, it seems to be most of the world.  The Yukon and maybe Mexico, is about as much of the world I want to see.

But I don't know what a potential partner would want.  Maybe a trip to Europe is something that is a gleam in her eye, and to make it happen would just be priceless.  (Nebraska, are you listening? LOL!!) I am SO NOT ever going to want to go to Africa, or the Mid-East ... or the old Soviet Union ... any of Eastern Europe ... not to mention parts of Southeast Asia ...

... hmm ... I did say I am not inclined to go anywhere, didn't I?

But I really wanted to talk about the places we live.  I remember one comment about 'why Nebraska', and I sorta replied that I know how to stay inside when it is cold.  But it is a lot more than that.  There are things in Nebraska that appeal to me beyond the weather.  I can remember the feeling I had one of the last weekends I spent at Ft Riley, and for a little bit, I felt like staying in Kansas City ... it came and it went, as I was really looking forward to ETS, but I didn't forget, just like I never forgot how Nebraska came and beat Ohio State in Columbus, with a barefoot kicker.

The radio show, 'Talk Of The Nation' did a piece the topic of 'Where you live' being more important than either who you love or what you do.  The thinking is, that the 'where' factor influences the other two more often than not.

Lets use Nebraska and I for this part of the discussion.  And I hope she doesn't get all uptight about it ...

For me, the state will be the right place for me.  The kind of person that I am will find a spot to cultivate and grow in that environ.  Nebraska, as sweet as she is, I don't think is appreciated in her current surroundings, and could prolly use someone with a different look on life, secure enough in themselves to allow for her 'whatevers' as well as to provide the stability and unconditional emotional support that she needs.

Me, I would need somewhere I can feel safe and secure, where I don't have to be 'Detroit' (as she calls it) all the time.  I also know that between Kansas City, St. Louis, Chicago and St. Joesph (!?!), there is going to be enough 'big time' there for me.  As to places like Lincoln, Omaha and Kearney (I guess ..?), I thrive in college towns.  Is Detroit a college town?

But the provencial town the Mook's live in is essentially an college-ish environment ... but that is a digression.  I am trying to get to Nebraska (the place).

I think the point of the show, was that the place we live effects the choices we make more than anything else.  Would I have chosen to box if I wasn't in Detroit?  The kind of things that I really enjoy are unfairly maginalized here in MoTown, and they aren't in other places, in fact, they are mentioned in a way that shows how much they mean and are valued by the community.

I have been in those kinds of places before.  Nebraska has that 'smell'. 

As for Nebraska the person ...


luvrte66 said...

I LOVE libraries, and have since I was a little girl. They make me feel...reverent.

A place I've always wanted to go--and I still hope to get there one day--is Egypt, to see the pyramids and the Cairo Museum. Ancient Egypt fascinates me. Unfortunately, modern Egypt is one of those places you mentioned that aren't real fond of Americans at the moment.

I liked what you wrote about "where we live." I think it definitely influences who we are and our personalities. I love visiting the coasts, I love New Orleans...but I'm Midwestern through and through. Going from Detroit to Nebraska might be a big adjustment for you, but you sound well-prepared to make such a transition. Just keep in mind that the pace is much sloooooower than you're probably used to! I kind of like that, but then I'm biased.

All my best,

luvrte66 said...

I almost forgot--I think letting Skye know every day that you love her is a great plan. It will get through one day, I believe that.


malagutigrrl said...

One of the reasons I hate living here in godforsaken Hanover, PA, is because once upon a time, while living in Nashville, I worked for Wild Oats Markets (recently bought out by Whole Foods).  I traveled all over the U.S. opening stores.  I discovered that I actually feel better in other places.  Oregon and Nevada in particular.  I instantly felt at home and...well... GOOD.  Physically and mentally GOOD.  Even Nashville didn't give me that feeling, despite the fact I loved it there.  So yeah, where you live IS important.  
But then I'm here in this godforsaken place because of WHO I LOVE.  And that's Ma.  

buckoclown said...

I agree that where you were raised has a big part to play in who you are.  I know that Beth and I are so compatible because we both were raised in the MidWest.  However, so was my ex, and we will not even got there <LOL>

I can honestly say that as long as my wife is with me, I could live anywhere.  So, I encourage you to follow your heart, because that will be where Home is :o)

nightmaremom said...

I love where I may not be perfect to some... it may be bashed regularly for the weather... but it's the right size,,,, the right amount of 'things'... and my family is here...   After being in Dallas for years...   :::clicking heals together::: there is no place like home.

lv2trnscrb said...

wise move, Mark, to say, write or text Skye those words every day! we always end our telephone calls with "love you" etc so words get said a lot some days, not so often other days if we aren't in contact with our son, but lately because there's a mini crisis, we're in contact a lot with him (he is job hunting, enough said, LOL)

it is true that we do put a lot of thinking into where we are going to live; each of our moves we have thought it through if we wanted to be there; for the most part we made wise decisions and then there was Santa Fe, definitely not a wise decision

libraries are wonderful aren't they? such a wealth of information there and available most times at no cost at all

take care


toonguykc said...

I hate to think of Kansas as who I am, but there are worse places.  Oklahoma....(shudder)


P.S.  I'm listening to some Fountains of Wayne now.  The song "Bright Future In Sales" reminds me of your optimism for some reason.  Hope that doesn't offend you.  ;)

rdautumnsage said...

Having lived through a horrendous childhood, a couple divorces and losing everything I owned every time I moved on....I came to one conclusion that still remains with me to this day; Home is wherever you are. You make your surroundings mold with your personality and make it yours.

I can't fall for that going back to where you were raised theory...I originated from NY (ironically the same area I now live in) and moved to Fla....Florida was hell, that can be interepeted as something coming from an abused 16 year old on her own and trying to survive. So naturally I thought NY would save me, after all I began here. NY has had me on my deathbed 4 times at the very least...I'm going to be 43 this coming July 1st. I came back when I was 18, so on an average every 6 years (The math figures I've been here 25 years now)I came close to dying. Doesn't give NY an impromptu outlook now does it?

Now back to what I originally said, you make where you are home...and I'm finally home. It took me a few years to get it right. In my case chalk it up to bad decisions. I can't blame the state for my state of mind. (Hugs)Indigo