Thursday, April 17, 2008

Thurday evening ramble


I am not just an 'optimist'.  Like a 'pessimist', an 'optimist' looks thru nothing and can't see past the nose on their face.  A pessimist does likewise.  I practice what I like to call, 'true optimism'.  It doesn't mean I am not real and understanding of the situation.

Sometimes, I have my questioning moments ... but I watched on '60 Minutes' where Saint Teresa had doubts of HER FAITH.  In the Bible there were episodes of flagging faith.  So how much more likely that I, secular Mark, should have questions about what is?

I just like to finish with a smile.

Life ain't easy but it doesn't have to be hard.  You can let it be hard, not trying to strive to develop what it is in you, scared because it hurts and you are uncertain of what you are going to find.  But if you do that, you are going to miss out on what IS supposed to be yours.


Four times, they went to the Super Bowl.  Four times, they lost.  When the Patriots were on the cusp of history, there was scant talk about the Bills and their achievements.  History loves a winner.  But aren't the Bills winners too?  They had to beat a lot of teams to get there four times.  That meant that their core was a group of very good players, with skill and toughness.

Getting back in to good shape was more about general health than vanity.  But I am not going to front, I look quite good.  And I feel like the goals I have set before me, are within reach.  Sort of like those Buffalo teams of the '90's.  My goals are pretty well set: Go to school, learn to train people, Hug Skye to pieces ...

... and fall in love again.

So this didn't turn out quite like I had hoped.  I did get to buy a ring and put it on someone's finger.  I did get to matter to a child.  And I like to think I graded out at a B-plus to A as far as my efforts.  That it isn't enough relfects on Mookie and not me.  This was winning stuff I put out.

Mookie made dinner tonight.  She is going to have to get back into that.  Ooh, when she has to start spending on groceries ... not to mention catching up on her own housecleaning.  Pretty mundane, but you take those things for granted when you don't have to do them.  I don't wish bad on Mookie, but I don't wish that she gets a pass either.  It is going to be difficult enough, trying to help with her sister and her job ending.  She will deal though, she will deal.

I don't wish her ill ... but if things grow tight on her, I will not feel for her!

1 comment:

lv2trnscrb said...

Mark I like your wisdom about life ain't easy, but it does have to be hard; there is a lot of truth in that paragraph you wrote; at least how I lived this past year

from what I read about lil Mook, I'd give you an A; don't grade yourself too harshly