Friday, April 25, 2008

My Dad ...


Have either never met (me& lil Mook) or had any real relationships with our birth fathers.

My Pops got his title the old fashioned way ... HE EARNED IT.


The one where the clock reads instead of numbers, the word 'Now".

In 'cleaning up', I am finding things that I have kept for whatever reason, like an entry from another blog, Observations From My Cave where he touts his wife as his best friend and just wrote a very nice piece about their relationship.  I also found an email exchange with my BFF, who has met and knows Mookie, where I gave her (much like you, but with a different responsibility) a 'Golden Pass' to say exactly what she thought about my relationship.

Like most readers, she had pegged me as 'outta here' LAST YEAR.  But a cat has to do, what a cat has to do.  Being able to add, 'suffering' to my experiences makes me more ready for the next relationship.  But the time has come.  I have been doing a little of this, and a little of that.  I could push everything that is out in a truck and like a light infantry brigade, be deployed just about anywhere on short notice.  Seeing my belonging so gathered, had me make a phone call.

To my Dad.

... well, he has always had MINE ...

Like I started out, me and lil' Mook has a strong common trait, one that I wanted to fill.  There are plenty of non-traditional families, shaped up in all kinds of ways.  As long as they FUNCTION, it doesn't matter.  So I wanted to make sure lil' Mook saw that a man's strength doesn't only come from his body, but that it comes from his heart and his mind.  I wanted her to see her Mother doted on, and for lil' Mook to be treated special.  So I really want to be able to talk with her before I go.

My Dad, well ... HE DOESN'T PLAY.  We have had our back's put together to get things done, but I have never had the inclination to 'raise up' against him.  What part of 'he doesn't play' do you not understand?  So when I spoke to him about moving back home (and where he lives, IS my home), he prolly was ready to get me THEN. I have never not felt like his 'son'.  As it is, I had to explain to him, that I love Mookie, and was just giving us little bit more time ... that was easier than to say I had to find my way to getting my personal business done.

I will prolly be more subjective, as I have to get things going.  Now, the woman he married, WAS the other woman to my Mom.  But I have NEVER known her to treat me like anything other than as a son.  Perhaps that is the 'country' , coming from Mississippi, but she hasn't had a problem with me, and I have not given her reason.  When I was around, her two boys with my Dad, had a big brother, and as they lived in a rougher neighborhood than me, I still had to 'walk to the store', and let people know that there was a new sheriff in town.

And much like with my Mother, I had the A-OK to be what you expect an older brother to be, only with MY DAD as the back stop, you would RATHER see me coming to talk than him.

So when I called him last night, he was like, "What have you been waiting on?  I thought you were on your way last month?"  He doesn't do 'finesse' quite as well, and calling him is like Commissioner Gordon picking up the bat phone.

Time to go.

A trip to 'R-kansas

Now that is where HE is from.  I wonder if that is where I got my 'small city, big town' desire from?  If I did, it had to be osmosis!  Anyway, now when he goes back home to see his Mother, I can too!  I am going to like seeing MY grandma, and just connecting to a part of me that I really don't know, sort of 'Antwone Fisher' like!

Don't get me wrong, I went to the dollar store and bought 4 'Butterfingers' and a 2-liter Coke!  But I have been able to keep up with my work, and I plan on doing some walking this evening.  Tonight, lil' Mook is doing a sleep over ... and I am going to loathe the uncomfortable silences ... maybe she will visit or go hang out with someone, Mookie that is.


"The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy." -Carl Von Clausewitz

Gee, let's hope not!!


cayasm said...

Congratulations on being a "Guest Editor Pick"


dougsbabygirl31 said...

I did not know my dad or my birth father for that matter. My first blood relative that I have had contact with is my son. I know, strange to say but true!! I wish you luck, leaving is a tough road to hoe, but sometimes it's gotta be done. We have had that convo! (((((((((Mark)))))))


lv2trnscrb said...

it was good that the woman your dad married treated you as "one of them"; I've heard it go the other way far too often; I liked your point that there are plenty of non-traditional families functioning; sadly too many traditional families are not. I think you did a good thing with tryhing to show lil Mook about what a man is; it is going to be tough to say goodbye to her and talk with her about going; she sounds sharp; I bet she has an inclination change is in the air, but maybe can't quite pinpoint exactly what the change is


lisa41076 said...

Mark, I am sorry about your birth father, you are a wonderful person and your dad is missing out on knowing you, by the way congrats on being an editor's pick, Hugs Lisa

toonguykc said...

Father/son relationships have so many complex seems able to see them more clearly than I ever could.