Went about as well as can be expected. He looked at my grill and gave me a treatment plan. When he is finished, then my stay here will grow short. I think that waiting for this process is a very good idea.
Afterwards, went shopping. Mookie left a list, and I stayed on message, not trying to pick up little touches to make a meal something extra. That is going into the storage bin.
AND WHY I AM ANGRY AND BEING MEAN TO PEOPLE SUCK
My friend Hutch and I have been trading emails regarding getting together while I am in the Metro area. I misunderstood what he meant by the phrase, 'nitty gritty talk', thinking he was going to lecture me. I replied that it would be better if we just enjoyed each others company, and that perhaps his advice would better served if he offered it to another close friend in his life.
HE LOST HIS MIND ..!
Some of it was by his own admission, his own problems. But he took offense, and was hot about it. Now, he doesn't want to get together while I am down there, over what was a small misunderstanding. He said that he was hot, and that while he wanted to keep our friendship, he wasn't up to my visiting him next week.
Now, I am mostly over my feelings. It was such a small misunderstanding that cost me my LBGF. We have over thirty years of friendship invested, so what is a few ill-spoken, misunderstood words.
I will tell you. Part of what is choking the life out of this relationship is that I feel I have to make the adjustments, that I have to acquiesce to people. I don't get it. First of all, can't I be a little hurt, and therefore be given a little slack? I am sorry if I am concerned about trying to find a handhold in the storm of my life, and I misspoke.
Another thing ... 30 years ... actually 32. Come the hell on, man! You had BETTER KNOW me. When have I EVER spoken to you with intent to injure and demean (other than picking on your sports teams!) anyone? Really ... after I read your invitation, and you held up examples of friends of our in my peer group, some I competed with directly, academically, and how they lead more fulfilling lives...
... like you don't have YOUR shortcomings.
So I am sitting here, torn up about Mookie, and antagonized by an old friend. That adds up to anger. And this was actually a good day. I had a good run, and felt and was thinking about the birds and the pretty flowers in bloom ...
WHAT FREAKIN' RIGHT DO YOU HAVE
See, though I have some tales of punchin' and scrappin', I am not a violent cat. The right to be aggressive with my hands end at my fist, and yours begin at your nose. And those things are to be respected.
I REALLY BELIEVE mean people suck, and suck hard. To me, being mean with no justification, abrogrates the end of fist/your nose begin rule. You snap at me, you are giving me permission to react AS I SEE FIT.
My Army sister said of me, 'You know when Mark is mad, because he will tell you,' meaning that there won't be any fancy words forced into a sentence, no strange and out there observations... when you find yourself answering 'yes and no', and you don't have to wonder if you understand the words coming out of my mouth ...
... mean people suck.