... cause they are doing a big birthday over here for lil' Mook, Grandma, with Mookies best sister flying in from Vegas for the weekend. I am cool with her, but will feel crowded with all her family flitting here and there ... talkin' stupid (uh, I mean that literally ... these girls talk about the most idiotic things ) and being loud ...
... let me double check ... dag, if I can suck it up until June ... it WOULD be better for me.
THE SOUNDTRACK FOR MY NEW LIFE
No doubt music means a lot to me. The other day, I posted while listening to three songs that would be on the soundtrack to the movie of me heading off into the sunset, 'Fast Car', 'Free Yourself' and 'What You're Waiting For'.
Add Wall Of Vodoo's 'Call Of The West' and Sleater-Kinnney's 'Get Up'. You can add 'Mammoth' from Interpol to that as well.
CALL OF THE WEST
When I speak of 'out west', it is a nod to this particular song. Lyrics go as follows:
he got the high sign so he jumped a bus
and along the roads that wind on through
the hot mojave and the jericho / he'd start his whole life anew
and what he'd left behind he hadn't valued
half as much as some things he never knew
It has been a part of my 'travel soundtrack' since I first heard it. The slow spaghetti western pace to the song only adds to the feeling of struggling thru an old life to face a new and alien one on the obscure fringes of the real world ...
and then the old-timer pulled him close and said,
"you've come a long way, i know, you got a longer drive ahead
through the bones of a buffalo, through the claims of the western dead
and just like the spokes of a wheel you'll spin 'round with the rest,
you'll hear the drums and the brush of steel,
This is how it always seems to be when you travel to a new place, particularly when you cross regions. The patois, the names of critical places, the climate and the mood of the people all are changed. There always seem to be a wiley ol' coyote of a person willing to give you essential information ... but do you trust them? Do you trust anyone?
now from the high timber lines to the deserts dry
who'll risk dangling on some hangman's tree?
to stake their claims on these prairie plains
while they say this lunch is not had for free?
just like the spokes of a wheel who'll spin 'round with the rest?
they'll hear the drums and the brush of steel
and i'll hear the call of the west / call of the west
i'll hear the call of the west / call of the west
Despite doubts and reservations, the call is too great to ignore, and you obey it. Since I hear it now, I have no choice. Do I believe that destiny is calling? Yes my dear Virginia, I do.
I was in Carolina when I caught them at a show somewhere ... maybe Raleigh, maybe Chapel Hill. They have stopped in Motown three-four times ... and yes, I have gone to every show (dag! Tee Jay went to one ... she WAS a troop!).
And when the body finally starts to let go
let it all go at once
not peice by peice,
but like a whole bucket of stars
dumped into the universe
Whoooh! Watch it go!
Good-bye small hands, good-bye small heart
good-bye small head
My soul is climbing tree trunks
and swinging from every branch
Now if THESE LYRICS don't encorage you to get the hell over what ever someone has you hung up on, I don't know what will! It doesn't assess blame, or worry about a cause ... just Whooh ... watch it go ..!
And there is a special freedom to be gained by doing that, letting go and moving on ... my soul is climbing!
I did tell you that there is SOME bitterness in me over all this, didn't I? This is that song for this time in my life.
Spare me the suspense
Spare me the suspense
I got the current seat, but I'm heaven sent
So spare me the suspense
Just spare me the suspense
For me, it says things that I want to say, it has the emotions that I have in me towards Mookie Dee. It says for me, that I am tired of all your talk, talk, talk. You have had you chance, and this is what you made of it ... so please, I can do with out your weak excuses and your sorry justifications ...
Hey lady, wait
I so hope you try
Baby know it's your time
Below that, you said bye
So call in the kid night
Alone, you can't make amends
Now won't let you sit by
So call in the kids
Now we should dance like two f**king twins
The first part, the 'lady wait, I so hope you try' is the bait to lure someone in, so that you could lash out and excise some sort of pain on someone ... no, I don't want to really do that, but I sometimes don't care WHAT is left behind as far as memories or anything. She can call what she likes ... I call it 'a failure'.
When I get on that plane, ride that train or hop that bus, this is what I want to hear in my personal stereo system.