Tuesday, March 11, 2008

... because I thought yesterday was today ...

FINALLY A MOOD THAT OTHER THAN CHILLIN' ...

... that's appropriate!  Since I thought yesterday was today, that meant that tomorrow is supposed to be Wednesday!  Excited?  A little bit, you can say!

I get envious of Emeril in his kitchen!  I really want to learn to cook well, and not just be a decent 'throw together' cook.  I also like to watch Lydia, the lady who does Italian food on PBS as well as Rachel Ray.  It goes without saying that I like Martha Stewart.

It isn't that I am a regular watcher or anything, but if one of the shows are on, I will peek in, and see what is going on.  I think that it is cool, trading a boxing match for a cooking show, or even a football game ... What I mean is, I will say to a ladyfriend, 'okay, I will watch 'Martha' if you promise to watch the game with me', and usually they don't know that I actually LIKE her show, and prolly would have watched it anyway!

Thinking about getting my own spot again makes me feel all jittery and stuff.  I will enjoy having excuses to go to garage sales and the second hand shops ... but I DON'T antique!  I will get the chance to put my kitchen together, by linens and all sorts of cool things.

DO YOU REALIZE ..?

How tough it is to say good bye to someone for the last time?  Not going to beat up on Mookie, as when I said good bye to her when I left for school, she hadn't realized it would be for 'the last time'.  But this time, it will be a shared event.

I still remember when we got back together for this round ... how when I opened my door, all I saw was the same Mookie that I knew.  All the curves and 'plushness' to her did not detract from her beauty.  I remember how it felt, how it still feels (on those rare occasions) to hug her after all those years.

She will always be as beautiful to me as she was that day ... as she is now.

It would have been really cool to watch lil' Mook grow up.  She is a really cool lady, and with high school looming on her horizon, time is REALLY going to blow by.  She cares about me and respects me, and that is more than enough.  She is confident, pretty, and has enough passion and desire to make her name writ above in the sky.  Just wished I didn't have to give up my ringside seat ...

Yes, I will miss them.  I want to miss them now, so when it is time for us to part, there won't be too much of the typical clinging to what could have been.  And y'all should know what I mean.  Mookie is cool with my Father and his peeps to, and like Pecan Sandie, has an open invitation.  And she has used it in the past, especially when her business would take her through the Motor, so well, you know ...

... and she also knows that I am not cut to be bothered with that.  When I leave, I will miss her, ache for her in my heart, but I DO NOT WANT TO SEE HER ... EVER.  The facade of politeness is what I would wear, and in fact, I have it on now.

This past weekend, with her sisters and nieces about and their spinnings, the tone of her voice, with so much bounce, so much vibrancy ... the LIFE that isn't there when she speaks to me ... when her and lil' Mook are downstairs laughing and joking with each other ...

I aim to be grateful, because though everyone does things their own way, she would be well within her rights to say ... but since she hasn't and I trust that she won't, I will plug away, doing what I do.

OKAY, NOW THIS IS THAT ENTRY ..!

Will be busy, getting my stuff together and running around.  Besides, I am a little to hyped to expect to be able to sit here!  Anyway, see y'all next week ... Enjoy Longwave ..!

2 comments:

dougsbabygirl31 said...

good luck with the move. I love to cook!! I make mostly southern dishes though. Fried chicken, chicken and dumplings, beef veggie soup... Although I own a lot of cook books and I am always looking for more. I like to bake as well....

Tawnya

lv2trnscrb said...

see, I thought you weren't going until Wednesday, but then I wasn't sure if you would have time to do a journal entry today, but I'm glad you did because I liked this one; you seem like you are in a good place today and ready to take charge with what you need to do to get your life the way you want it; go for it and enjoy it!

betty