... and now I am BACK ..!

... after all, they are my favorite new band

The music snobs and critics talked about how the Interpol guys were derivative, a knock off, wannabe, of Joy Division.  First, I remember liking Joy Division, and I didn't see too many kids wearing their tee shirts then.  Second, I am not a music snob, I just like what I like, good stuff and bad, and my guilty pleasures.  I it is hard to explain how I link 50's rockabilly to 70's Motown soul along with early 90's nilhistic industrial, but I do.  Oh, and don't forget the garage rock scene here in Detroit and the Brit pop of the 80's ... I could go on and on ...

You keep it moving to your soul's delight
Now I've tried the brakes
I’ve tried but you know it's a lonely ride
How are things on the west coast?
Oh I'd move heaven behind those eyes

... man, good lyrics ... feelin' them and of course, I don't listen to radio too much, as the music says absolutely nothing to me at all.

STUFF ON MY MIND

The other day, Bravo ran some back-to-back episodes of 'What Not To Wear'.  It is an makeover show, where they take some fashion criminal and dress them up and give them a new wardrobe.  I wouldn't mind going on, not that I don't know how to dress, but I would endure a few insults for a new wardrobe!

This one episode, the lady was a realtor but you would never know it by how she dressed.  When she wasn't on the clock, she dressed like 'one of the guys' in sloppy jeans and sports tops.  When she called herself 'dressing for work', she looked like an extra from Patrick Swayze's movie, 'Road House' (aw, don't front ... between him and Keanu Reeves, y'all know you like him on screen ..!).  She had even got sent home from the office because she was dressed inappropriately.

They did the whole 9 yards with her clothes, getting rid of all the crap in her closet, even giving in on one particular dress, as long as she let them make it over for her.

At the end of the show, when she got to see herself with her new hair, new clothes, she of course was presented to her friends and family and they loved her look!  But looking at her Mom, who was tres chic, I wondered what happened to the apple?  Something had to have happened, as she prolly didn't grow up that way.

When they let her tell what the make over meant to her, she spoke of how now she can set a better role model for her son.  She had let her poor choices in men drag her down, and she dressed to that level of lowered expectations.  Now her pride in herself was reinvigorated and she was determined to be that put together well Mom that her son deserved.

KEEP UP, KEEP UP ..!

Now, I have this book, 'Black Rage' that talks about the effect of racism on the black societal norms in America.  One particular passage talked about how black women get to a certain point, after being sexualized in their youth, to exploited in what my Mom calls, 'their good years' to finally giving up and just looking a mess.

But listening to this white lady on the show, she describe what I think I read, or how I interpreted it.  So I am sitting there, shaking my head at how stupuid we are for having such huge predjudices.  She could prolly sit down with a sister girlfriend, and they would find that as single parents, still hoping to find that special someone, but struggling with issues from self-esteem to money, to raising a little boy or girl alone, and at the very least have someone they can lean on for comfort.

... I guess it IS easier to just drink the Kool-Aid ...

... than it is to think openly and for yourself.  I do all that I can to make sure that simple predjudice doesn't shape my socializing.  If you are cool people, you are just cool.  What you like, I love ... just don't necessarily want to SHARE in it though ... but you, you go right on ahead, do that thing and later we can go down to the Regal Beagle and have a beer!

I really do think that people get so caught up in themselves and think that what they know is all there is to the world.  They don't want to do the work that comes with getting a better understanding of what they are being faced with.  Someone who has 'next' with me is going to have to be able to think for themselves, stop drinking from the 'troth of Kool-Aid' that is mass media, and be able to answer questions on what they really see.

Being wrong isn't the worst thing.  But not doing anything is a lot closer to the worst thing.  Find out what is what before you go 'and that's that'.

THE BIG FINISH

Mookie's computer needs to go into the shop.  I have an old IBM circ 2001 that is down.  I MUST have an I-Pod before I decide to move across the street let alone anywhere else!

The real question is, should I invest in my old desktop, or try to get a newer, 'gently used' computer?  And if I do, desk or laptop?

The IPod is a must.  See, I don't have a lot of 'memorabilia from my life and my travels.  If you did not know me, you would think that I am full of crap.  I have never been impressed with myself, and didn't appreciate what pictures and small souvenirs would mean, especially as things have developed for me, personally.  I reminesce not because I am lost to my past, but I want to make sure that I can RECALL IT.

My music is a link to events and periods of time in my life.  The right song will bring a flood of emotions and feelings that I hadn't thought about, some that I didn't even know existed.

The hearing for my disablilty was a very, very, VERY bittersweet event.  I was glad to be granted full disablity, as it meant I would still have a shot at taking care of myself.  I did struggle with the fact that people were saying that, 'Yes Mark, we all agree, you ain't right no more!'  Don't think I will ever forget that feeling.

The mental health professional I had been seeing at the start of the process, is a good freakin' egg.  I hadn't been too sure about seeing a therapist, and I don't necessarily recommend one for everybody.  I just know that it has helped ME.  I was not ANYWHERE near what I am today, and I won't take the credit for being resilent.  My doc helped me out a great deal.  Thinking about being on my own, gives me the stomach queasys ... I prolly could manage to do a bi-weekly thing from the Motor, but the ultimate goal is ...

... well, I don't necessarily feel it is going to end in Detroit.  But you never say never, cause you don't know if you just might!

I am looking forward to having him 're-grill' my mug!  I still am cool with what I see in the mirror, but after 'Braska gigged me about it, I look forward to getting it done.  Anywho, that is about it for now ...

... enjoy The Coctails!