… as if you could avoid it ..!

... well, Loretta and Leroy make their work ..!

(you know, ‘The Lockhorns!)

In today’s Freep, columnist Susan Ager took a stab the question of what makes a marriage work. Using two high profile examples in Bill and Hilary Clinton, Kwame and Carlita Kilpatrick, she ponders over the stuff behind the curtain.

She mentions how foolish some women would view Hilary and Carlita, for standing steadfast by their husbands even enduring the very public humiliation. How many women have stood by their men, with much less tangible things at stake? How do you measure a person’s investment in a relationship, in a marriage?

Cheaters tend to forgive the cheats. The aggrieved party seeks some sort of justice and some kind of pain to inflict on the other. Then there is always the middle where people just manage what they have.

Though I have been on one side more than the other, I have been on both and that is why I have decided to let my experience work for me. Sure I will allude to things in my relationship, but the reason it is ‘off limits’ as it were, is because it is now what I call, ‘actionable’.

… when the time for talking is done ?

It isn’t necessarily about being right anymore at this time, is it? You have come to a point and something needs to be done. You can’t act rash and you can’t let your hear do the thinking. So things become ‘actionable’ when I feel the surge of emotion crashing against the shores of reason. To be able to find that quiet spot in the storm is where you can make the necessary preparations to go forward.

I wondered about both Hil and Carlita. There had been allegations about their men long before the stuff hit the fan. I think back to women that I have ill-positioned. Looking at Carlita and remembering how I admired Hilary for her role in ‘ l’ affair Lewinsky’ I hear the echoes of their voices … not the words but the emotions.

Ouch.

That I have also been on the other end of the equation isn’t trying to make it seem that I am a victim. As I am won’t to say when people interpret my dewy words and honeyed actions … I am not new to this rodeo ..!

But like I said, You have to let your experience work for you. I don’t think that anyone is as innocent as they may think they are, and their thoughts aren’t as clean as they want you to believe. I kinda think that is one of the points of Susan’s column, that we all have secrets in life (yes, from the Smith song ..!) and the question becomes, ‘What, is that you are going to do now?’

 

PATRIOTS ARE CHEATERS

… too much stuff about their use of spies to gain an advantage. Trust me, if you know for certain that your opponent had a light breakfast and skipped lunch, it makes a difference. Still pulling for the Giants, but no matter the outcome, I feel the Patriots have lost a bit of their shine …