AS A PREDATOR THINKETH …
This is why I don’t mind criticism. There is a reader of my musing who thinks clearly that I am a crap guy. I am like sooo cool with that, because I don’t let the crap in me define me. I don’t WANT to be a crap guy, so I don’t mind what she says. Because as ‘sensitive and caring’ or even as ‘effeminite’ as I may seem, I am STILL a guy. And when it comes down to it, I ACT like a guy.
See, I recognize where I am in this relationship has more in common to what a female role is than the stereotypical male. Is Mookie steppin’ out? That possibility has crossed my mind more than once or even twice … I can make change for a nickel with the regularity of our rolls in the hay per month …
My ego doesn’t bruise by that kind of blow. That is more like a slap with a velvet glove. It is this twisting thing that has gotten to me. It is the dismissing of my needs and the lack of attention that trouble me more. That is unmistakable. So whether or not she is steppin’, doesn’t it all add up to the same thing for me? By her taking the time out to engage me in the kind of unique conversation that you share with a person you care about last week, then taking time away from what ever ‘New York’ is doing or who is rump shakin’ on BET to watch ‘Gothika’ with me tonight … right now, I am like 'who told you to?'
Well, being more comfortable with the predator’s role in this particular jungle, I STILL don’t get over excited with a couple of random incidents. That is what a guy would do, to through his girl off his trail …
CONCLUSION
Not going to over think things … trying to get out of that. But it did feel good to feel like I mattered around here for once ..!
3 comments:
I'll give you that your complicated...but then again I'm the one with the varied extremes with music (winks) I did mention that was music for me. Tonight I was a little miffed (ok alot) So Trent Renzor was a perfect fit.....
And yes, there are different sides to who you attract to your journal.
As for your being a guy....I don't buy it's a guy kind of thinking for getting along. You hurt just like anyone else and if you think someone you care about is stepping out on you, deep down it hits where it counts. The question is are you getting what you need out of the relationship enough to keep it in it's perspective or do you believe you deserve more?
No one is perfect, no one is always right. I told you I learned lessons the hard way. One of those lessons was not to be with someone just so I wasn't alone. Maybe I'm reading more than there is , maybe not. Maybe it's just me, but I believe there is an equal footing of give and take. Words only give so much of the emotional package. Do you deserve a good night? You deserve them all to be good nights filled with peace. (Hugs) Indigo
PS Careful what you wish for with the disagree-able readers, take it from me, they put up one hell of a fight sometimes. But they do make you think.......
Awwwwww Mark you are awesome,. do'nt let anyone tell you otherwise, Hugs Lisa
I always block the haters in my blog ... I get enough of that crap in real life.
R
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