… and why it is you let go …

I don’t think that I ever took much for granted in my life, which is why I have enjoyed it so much. The past year was a trying one, and it made the things that make me feel fulfilled become an even greater priority.

One of the things that I had to regain control of was how I saw myself. The world can be cynical, so for me that is a default setting. I don’t think much about it, other than to acknowledge it exists. What I do take complete ownership of, is how I see myself.

Woke up yesterday feeling fine. The Mook’s did too, and their getting gone was typical, loving family kind of a deal. My unhappiness is NOT an excuse for me to lose my form - besides, coming down and being on the computer allows the girls to dress in peace, lil’ Mook ISN’T little … she is a teenager, and is growing into the role …

Anyway, I wanted to go for a nice run this morning, especially since the forecast was for snow soon. I hope to get in a good hard run and do a little sprinting just for kicks. I put on my gear, and then I looked for my stopwatch to time myself as I sprinted. I keep the run time on my Iron Man watch, but I have a cheap stopwatch to keep sprint time on.

I looked and looked, and I did not find it. I did have it when I gathered my stuff to run together, but what did I do with it? I was getting a bit flustered, and I could have let it throw me off my square. Could have not even run, and then the slide would begin in earnest.

So I went without it. And I had a good run!

Did some floor work <that is what I call calestenics/yoga stretches>, including some shadow boxing. Shadowing up ALWAYS make me feel better! I hit the shower and changed up. I try to keep things close to a routine as possible, because I know what I know about me … there IS a reason that I see therapists and what not. I didn’t want to worry about where my stopwatch was, so I did another little thing that makes me feel better.

I shaved my legs.

This is something I have been doing since Jr. High. I could care less what anyone thinks about it, but it is something that makes me feel good. I have never liked hair on my body and always worried that I could grow up and be one of those super hairy guys. That didn’t happen, but it became a habit. And yes, I do shave my underarms too!

Couldn’t find the outfit that I had planned on wearing, and that was cool. I wasn’t trying to be dressy, so I just grabbed some black sweatpants and a State tee. Then I started to think about dinner.

I had taken out some hamburger last night to thaw in the fridge. Took about a pound of meat out, seasoned it up and put that back in the fridge. Checked for the stuff I wanted to make with it - Wednesday is spaghetti day, so I looked and discovered we didn’t have the sauce or the noodles!

Rode my bike up the rode to the grocery store. This is a super cool town to be a pedestrian or a cyclist. There are bike lanes most everywhere, and the traffic tends to yield to you fairly easily. I never have too much a problem, only when I think I am back in Motown where they don’t care, and I am overcompensating does there seem to be any conflict with traffic.

At the grocery store, I remembered that one of the ladies at QD was going in for surgery. She had came up to me one day last week and just started to share her worries about it with me. Sure, I am a regular customer, in there often, but I didn’t think anyone thought that much of me. We chat about this and that, but I didn’t think the employees there thought any more of me than they do any of their other regulars.

Since she did, I decided to get a little ‘get well’ balloon, and take it in to the store. I was sure that they could get it to her. I went to QD and there she was! I must have misunderstood when she was going to be back from surgery. So I took and gave her the balloon.

Then two ladies came into the store. They asked me if I lived on a street, and I told them I do live in the area. They started asking me questions about whether or not I was an athlete or fitness trainer, and I told them I used to box. The went on to say that it seemed that I didn’t miss a day running <yeah I do, but I run at least half of the year>, and that they have gotten used to seeing me run, especially in the summer … when I am wearing a tank top and my shorts ..!

Blushing as I said my goodbyes, I left the store. I still had my dinner groceries, as I rode straight from one store to the other. The house wasn’t far, and I came in and put the food away... dinner is going to rock ... and it is all downhill from here ..!