nigel -ed,-ing <v> to be doing in a natural fashion; he is just nigeling his way through school; behaving unobtrusievly and without notice; I just nigeled my way past the crowds; from a song by XTC, 'Making Plans For Nigel'
I apporpriated that song when I was a kid to describe how I felt, smothering in the alienation that was my tweens and teenage years. Whether it is true or not, I have often felt like my way of doing things is so far beyond the pale, that people feel the need to let me know that I can't do what it is I am trying or attempting to do.
What they really mean is, that they wish that they had the nerve to at least try to do what I am attempting. So when I first heard the song 'Making Plans For Nigel', I took it as a message to me. Looking at the lyrics now, I guess you can make it like maybe he is a 'special needs' cat, and they are letting him roam around under supervision! But I have always taken it to say that God and his angels understand that Nigel is a nice bloke, who just does what he does and how he does it.
And he is happy in his work. That is pretty simple. I like the way that I go about things, good or bad, just like Nigel. I had a decent day, managing to sit through the opening of gifts and getting my holiday phone calls, and managing X-Mas with the family. What has worn upon me lately is this feeling of alienation. My Mom told me that I do that on my own, and she prolly was right. That is why I went out with the girls to the family gathering. I didn't mind when two of her sisters followed us to the house and sat for a spell.
It wasn't until later in the evening, when I got ready for bed. Lying there, wondering when Mookie would make it and what would happen when she did ... and as you can see, I am down here ... not that it is an accurate sign, but it is a leading indicator that we didn't 'celebrate' Christmas in any other fashion. Man, do I need a drink ..!
So I log on, and ol' Nebraska is on. I do what I do, send a couple of emails ... she is preoccupied, and that was cool as I did my surfing thing ... but she said something that gave me pause ...
1 comment:
Thanks for stopping by my demons journal -- it led me to yours. I should probably go back and read your archives to "get" you better -- I see two things right away: 1. You write very well. 2. You have awesome taste in music.
(XTC's "Oranges and Lemons" is one of my favorite CDs.)
Russ
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