… and that is TWO …
Not so sure that this is going to come to a bad end or is going to come to an end … but I am going to start recording and counting …
… Wenesday I was rebuffed … gently, but nonetheless patted away … shoo boy, shoo ..! So the more open and expressive emotion limit not only must have been reached, but is on a short tether. Since the subject has been covered repeatedly, I am not going to detail it. By the numbers, with lil’ Mook in the basement on the internet, I figured that maybe an opportunity would develop. Failing that, I figured just being frisky and loving would at least be enjoined. Didn’t happen.
… Bill day … understandably with everything going on in her world, Mookie is a little distressed, financially. But one of my triggers got stepped on Thursday. The electricity bill is very high. In discussing how it came to be, the statement that was to the effect that one of the reason the bill is so high is that there is someone in the house all the time … a slight towards ME …
Now, the hole in that theory was exposed in full by my going over my journals. Just as she missed that I have for the most part made changes as to my nocturnal habits, she also hasn’t noticed that I have kept myself busy and indeed am NOT here all day just sitting around. Not only that, but I have served essentially as the 'Light Police' going behind and turning off lights and radios in empty rooms. This is again, one of the clearest signs that she pays little actual attention to me. Combining with the affections issue, it says that Mookie doesn’t consider what she says, at least not to me.
This isn’t something that she has said just once. Could track it down, but do I need to get that specific? The question that I have for myself is how much is enough? I don’t know what she expects or if she thinks that what she does, is more than adequate. She really doesn’t talk to me, and lack of communication is like death to a relationship …
… it is killing ours …
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