NOW THAT I PLAN TO SET ROOTS IN OMAHA...

 For the majority of the past decade I have been enjoying my existence.  This is not to say that I did not have a good life prior to moving to Omaha, but as the number of posts since I have been here have dwindled to rumours, I really have been enjoying an increase in the quality of my life.  Because of that increase in life quality, the thinking that created many of my entries has been altered.  I no longer “think” the way that I did in years gone by, and that has made a great difference in how I perceive myself and the world at large.  I have personally held that it is hard to find yourself when you are stuck in self-pity, which is part of the reason that I began blogging.  To have those corrosive thoughts inside of me would have really done me in, and by journaling out what was inside, those thoughts did not eat away at my being, keeping me from falling into self-pity or worse.

The troubles that I did have were far from exercable.  Nothing that I have experienced here (minus the hospital trips from being struck by cars!) has caused me to stay up late at night, nor have I had any moments of dread from something that awaited me to start my day.  Most days, in fact, have been in the 85% - 95% percentile, even with the snow, the rain, almost any inconvenience that I have encountered.  Because of that, I have had no motivation to dredge up (which is what I would have been doing… exchanging “drama” for content) what was going sideways in my life.  I could have mentioned the relationship that I terminated and the ebb and flow of it, but instead, I CHOSE to handle things appropriately and make the decision according to what I believed in.  No debate and no fear of whether it was fair or not, and I have long since felt that I “paid back” what I had taken from people in relationships.  So there was no drama there, and further discussion would be to try and sharpen my storytelling chops.

GET IT STRAIGHT

Which brings me to the secondary and most important reason for my journal.  To keep me on message and focused.  I do not have drama and there is none that I would like to share.  While social media is a useful tool, it has been relegated to an afterthought, checked infrequently to keep track of the people I care about and who I want to remain in touch with.  There is nothing that I really want to say, no one whose attention that I want to get, and no information that I have to share with anyone.  This blog is about as far as I will go with any personal news/or information, and if there is any type of “announcing” done on a social media network, it will likely be for official self-promoting, not the “oh, look everyone… this wonderful thing is going on in my life” kind of breaking news.  Not to be a curmudgeon or anything, but I have never been a self-promoter.  I do understand and am aware of the purpose to self-promotion, but I will still be abstaining from the fatuous, “look at me” stuff.  That just is not my style.  Besides, that is not going to help me with writing up a proposal to the city of Papillion for a boxing program, which is foremost on my mind.  I may have mentioned it, but if not, I do have interest from the Mayor and a couple of the councilmen here in town.  So I feel that if I am serious about wanting to live and take charge of my life, then I will take a serious run at making this happen.

My life has stabilized.  There are always chances for destabilization, but that is with anyone.  The thing I have now is a foundation that hopefully I can build upon, even rebuild on, if necessary.

I also have entered into a new relationship.  It is not with someone “new” in my life, but it is with one of the women that I dated prior to my last long-term girlfriend, a woman that I met not long after “the Princess” that I once dated.  She has a couple of adult daughters, one who has a child and is expecting another.  Would I call either of her daughter’s situations “stable”?  I am not sure about KT and her emergence into adulthood, so I would ask, “What is stable?”.  But I will withhold my reservations as I feel that I can competently care for my own well-being, physically and mentally.  Even talking about my “once and current” partner should not be necessary.  She, along with her daughters, are all independent entities who exist in their own worlds, outside of my sphere of influence and direct concern.

I hope to start an amateur boxing program here in Papillion.  Now the boxing team is not the only thing that I have in mind.  I still want to go to school and I want to become a real estate agent as well.  So that would make for me to really have my sh*t together, focused and hustling.  The anxiety that I do have in my life relates to finding not only the order of actions that I should be taking but the general uncertainty that is a part of taking on a major project in one’s life.  Much of the butterflies are self-induced, and that is why I am going to be journaling about my progress.  So if anyone has any tips on writing a formal proposal or business plan… Any advice would be appreciated!