WHY I WOULD NOT WANT ARGENTINA CRYING FOR ME
I have picked up a lot
of “pings” from women on my radar even with it set on “passive”. It was evident almost from the moment I set
foot in Omaha that there was a different vibe emanating from women here in
town. Coupled with the ambiguity that
exists between Nebraska and I, I did make a small adjustment, deciding
to make myself available for possible companionship.
At first it was looking
like more of the same kind of thing. I
still have not adjusted to the social dynamic between men and women here in
town. When it comes to that, I feel more
like a high-priced free agent, maybe even LeBron James-like, with his emotional
parting from Cleveland to go off into the unknown but hopeful situation in
Miami. But unlike LBJ, I held no
expectation of immediate success in Omaha, whereas the pressure of winning a
championship and fate (because I
think that the player strike is going to take away from Miami this season) in his first season in Miami was apparently
too much for LeBron and his two other much-ballyhooed teammates.
Since I have been here
and as I said, been “passively pinging”, I feel like I am between somewhat of a
tease and that of an aging ingénue. The
former because I do sense the attention of women and when one of them stops me
and the banter hits the pregnant pause near the tipping point from idle conversation
to something a bit more, and the latter because I still get the feeling that my
enthusiasm and joie-de-vivre still makes some see me as someone who doesn’t “get
it” (though as for that, it is
FAR less here than any place I have been) and that I may still be a doe-in-the-woods. The woman who I “missed the bus” to speak
with a few weeks ago and I have spoken and acknowledged each other in
passing. Thursday we ran into each other
at the end of our classes and we spoke.
Since I liked her (small “L”…
thinking about this friend thing and seeing what develops) I suggested that with the both of us being
free, that we go to a movie. She had one
stop to make but nothing after that. I
found that agreeable and off we went!
Her vehicle was a small
F-10 pick-up so I loaded Madison in the truck’s flatbed. Now it wasn’t the best of vehicle’s, in need
of a starter which meant she had to park it on an incline (and there are no shortage of them here in the big
O!) and pop the
clutch. I was not unfamiliar to the
process, having had to get a stick to start like it was butter (because I had to get it going on a roll!), and I am not judgmental about material
things. But the area where I do get
judgmental on is…
THE CONUNDRUM OF
CONFUSION WHEN STRUGGLE IS TAKEN AS CONFIRMATION OF THE INHERENT BLESSINGS OF
FAITH
As we spoke, one of the
first tripwires that my companion had stumbled over on the way to her truck in
the school parking lot was the one connected to faith. She is a Mormon, and she was a little evasive
about that. But before she hemmed around
claiming her theological preference, she had forgotten that I was
agnostic. Even as she may have thought I
looked nice to her, I was clear in our initial discussion where I stood with
regards to religion. I mean, I was able to remember that she was a Mormon. That is a foundation block in a person’s
character and there is no two ways about it.
I keep talking about “points”
and though I don’t actually assign a number or keep a tally, I do believe that a
person should keep a mental running total of points when they are getting to
know someone. There are other times in a
relationship where it may be necessary to keep such a tally, but those occasions
are usually when things are taking on water.
Anywho, this faith thing was “triple point score” in the negative for
this woman. And just like a seven game
series doesn’t really start until someone loses on their home court, the
discovery on a date usually doesn’t begin until the first discrepancy is
made. This was that moment.
Though Omaha is not a
particularly large town in area, the streets tend to have a steady flow of
traffic thanks to how the town’s systems of lights work. There is no such thing as “timing” the lights
as I remember doing traveling down 8 Mile Road back in the Motor here in the
big O, so that is what makes a half-hour trip of a few miles take so long. As to the freeways, I have no idea where they
go or where they lead… to other empty, hilly places, I guess.
Anywho, with the travel
time and her errand, we missed the movie (which would have been “Think Like A Man…” which I
will see on my own either Sunday or Monday afternoon) and I suggested we do a dinner, and actually
sit down and get to know one another. We
went to an actual Applebee’s (I say ‘actual’
because ‘Applebee’s’ is a term I use for all of the similarly-themed restaurant
chains) and we ordered some
Asian shrimp dish for her and a forgettable burger for me.
BUT IN THE MEANTIME…
Between leaving school
and the middle of our dinner, with a break as she ran her errand, the
conversation was a litany of woes. I
have to say that I asked her questions that pertained to what she was talking
about, so I did not tune her out. But it
would have been very easy to do.
There were three things
that stood out to me that I can share comfortably about her. Other than the alert she caused over faith,
she talked about being lonely, not having been out on a date in nearly a
decade. Finally, it was her overall dreariness that got to me.
I had about as much as I
could when I asked her if she was purposely sabotaging the date. She looked slightly puzzled, not having
realized we were on a “date” (WTF..? I
mean, really now women… WTF!) And
at that, I became engaged in our conversation.
While I was
participating in talking to her, the dreariness of what she was droning on was
taxing. I did not have any real chance
to shift the conversation as each time she would have the choice of going to a
new topic she kept coming back to her “impeccable blahs”. But when I asked her
if she was talking like she wanted someone to be turned off, she was doing a
great job at it.
I told her that while I am
agnostic, it doesn’t mean I am ignorant to the tenants of religion and what it
is supposed to do for a person. I could
not believe that she could be anything she claimed in her faith, because she
would not have talk about her life in such unflattering and depressing terms. After dinner, we walked over to a nearby mall
and I continued my monologue.
First, there was the ‘date’
thing. Whether or not we were on one was
immaterial to whether or not she was putting on her best face. I explained that I do believe that how you
look at things often determines how you deal with them and frankly I thought
that she was working against herself.
She was back in school, hopefully to improve herself and her life. Why was she dwelling on and bringing all this
past stuff to her NEW conversation with her new life? I did not get that.
Walking around she got
to see me put what I believe in philosophically in action. You would have had to have been there, but as
we returned to her truck, she agreed with me about “seeing” the talk that I
walked WAS the walk that I was talking about.
Her spirits were trending up and I could tell they were because…
…IT WAS ME, NOT YOU
A weird thing happens
when I am walking with someone. I tend
to bump into people that I am walking WITH, and I could see where because I had
been brushing into her, that kind of incidental contact would be one of either
two things: annoying, because I am in a person’s space, or it would becoming a
way that intimacy was being established.
And though I am a touchy-feely cat, my being touchy-feely is NOT why if
we are walking together that I am bumping into you.
Since my injury I find
that my balance has been impaired. I
notice it definitely when walking with someone, as if my gravity is being
affected somehow. I figure that whoever
is with me is either being annoyed by my bumping or, if they are attracted to
me, then it would intensify their attraction.
Me? I am trying NOT to fall to
the floor while the world is spinning around me!!
I could pick up from her
energy when I would bump into her that she was in a better state of mind than
she was when we left school. Then as we
walked through a book store, we looked at books and began to have a “date
conversation”, where you talk about interests and more importantly, our hopes
and our futures.
3 comments:
One of my first cars was an '83 Ford Escort, and I remember my friends all pitching in to get it rolling so I could pop the clutch and start off.
Darn, maybe she is just rusty. Perhaps asking her out on an official date would help?
Yeah...not sure I would dig the whole blah blah blah thing, either. :/
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