I haven’t had much to say recently and that is a good thing. My grades for my first quarter was a well-earned ‘A’ in my English Comp 1 class and a hard-earned ‘C’ in my Info Systems class, a class that were I financially predisposed that I would pay to take again. The instructor did an excellent job and it was fun for me because of the struggle. This is not to say that I did not have to make the same type of effort in my other class but this was more elemental of a struggle. I felt that I was hot, sweaty, dirty and uncomfortable in Info Systems and it tested me on how badly did I want it.
This has been the laziest week ever! I will go grocery shopping a little later to pick up some staples, a loaf of bread and some milk. Maybe I will scoot out to Wal-Mart on 72nd to pick those things up because I also want to pick up some more oatmeal, too.
While it seems like it was months ago, Ken’s visit was only last week. It really felt good having him in the area and to go from his visit to passing my classes was as good a transition into this week of vacation. Text and talked with friends and family (my Dad & the Carolina Girls) and sort of lurked around the blogs for a bit. Felt relaxed enough to listen to a little NPR and that has been about it. I have not even thought to engage my mind until today and I will get to thinking about the things that I think that I will be thinking about for the New Year.
THE WAY I SEE THINGS IS…
I was doing some mumbling about relationships when I left off, along with folding in more of my personal story with a description of my marriage fail to boot. While I would say the biggest problem with relationships is an overall lack of men who are capable of either leading or managing a relationship, another reason that the meme of the man shortage has so much traction is the focus on the kind of male that women want (or so the Germans would have them believe that they do) IS in short supply… the same way that women that look like Giselle Bundchen are in short supply! The relationship model that women have is skewed and I think that genetics play a big role in why.
My ex-wife’s maxim about men, that men are all ‘dogs’, harks back to the idea that men are not indiscriminate when it comes to sex. I don’t think that is true and though men will pay a hooker who looks like they were left out in the rain and hung up wet, it doesn’t, as an idea, explain why some men go about ‘knicking knickers’ when the opportunity presents itself. What I really thinks takes place is there is a cohort of men who simply no longer compete for females. Between women chasing after the same ‘man’, an inclination that has gained acceptance in relationship circles, the consequence is that there are men who choose to take themselves out of the competition for a partner.
Now when I say that, I don’t mean to include cats that are so wounded by a relationship like my man here, in which they don’t dare themselves to get out into the mix again. That is a constant on both sides of the equation, but it is just that it is covered more in depth when the phenomenon references a woman. The whole ‘woman scorned’ or a woman being replaced by a ‘2.0’ version seems to understandably add up to why a female would drop out of the game of love, but often they are also subject to derision. It is a huge negative for a woman not only to be single, but not to pursue a partner.
What is said about a man who does the same thing? Just decides to drop out in the same way, essentially because he can?
For me that became a priority option after I left ‘the provincial town I once jogged ‘round’, and it still remains under serious consideration. Unlike Joe Blessing, I have more than taken my turns on the dance floor and even though I did not ‘win the big dance’, I’d like to think my ‘tournament records’ would speak for itself. I mean, if Butler never advanced past the 2nd round of the NCAA Men’s basketball tournament for the rest of Brad Stevenscoaching career, would he still not be remembered as a very good coach? No, he won’t be mentioned in the breath of a Wooden or a Knight or Krzyweski, but he will be considered very accomplished and certainly memorable to those who cheer for Butler. And really, how bad would is that when considering a future legacy?
But I think that a lot of men are dropping out because they can and the scrutiny isn’t the same for them as it is for women. They have their justifications, maybe they have endured one rejection too many, or they have embedded themselves deep into a subculture, leaving the surface world to only go to movie openings and Comic-con gatherings. Whatever their motivation for eschewing female companionship maybe, I rarely, if ever, have heard mention of this as a theory in conjunction with the supposed shortage of men.