Friday, August 5, 2011



Went down to Vocational Rehabilitation and did some memory tests.  I could FEEL the gears in my head slipping as I had to look at a picture on a card for ten seconds and arrange this and sort that according to the pattern on the card.  I could feel the gears slipping as I tried to complete the tasks.  Even when I came up with a mnemonic to help me put things where they had to go, that was like ‘so not gonna happen’, so I was left to winging it, per usual.

Even though I have my problems with processing (which memory is, a mental process) information in short bursts, I am still confident that I can do well in school and eventually in my return to the workforce because I still can come up with a compensatory method to problem solve.  That is why I mentioned that on the fly I tried to fashion a mnemonic to help me take the test.  It was only so effective because of the way the test was conducted.

Que sera.  It is to be expected and while I know that I have my limits, I plan on examining the width and breadth of those limits. 


When it comes to interpreting this song, I am like so ‘well, whatever’.  I know what the lyrics say and I know how they are most often interpreted, but I only KNOW what the song says to me.  But I am not going to get all exhaustive as far as what I hear in it other than the phrase, “Why ponder life’s complexities when the leather runs smooth in the passenger seat?” and perhaps explain its application as an axiom in my thinking.

Life is already filled with challenges and when it comes to personal relationships, there are certain challenges that I aim to avoid.  My success (or lack of) with women often has been due to being able to discern between things of substance and from things that are of little consequence in a relationship.  Being ‘aged out’ is an example of the kind of ‘complexities’ that shouldn't matter.  She was attracted to a cat with grey in his goatee and in his hair… so what was she hoping for, that I liked to frost my beard?

She claims to supposedly have a preference for older men… okay, so what is the problem?  I am too old and there would not be a lot in common between us, nor would we be able to experience new things as a ‘couple’.  Whaa--? Rather than even consider wrapping my mind around that piece of non-linear thinking, I simply accept someone at their word.  Trust me I am exploring this here for storytelling purposes.  To actually dwell on this ‘non-relationship’ would be a waste of RAM and I have confirmed already that I can ill afford to do that!

I don't know of another word to take it's place and partner sound too business-like.

The above is from Sherry’s comment that she left on my ‘Spin Doctoring’ post that touched on the subject of ‘what do you call your love interest or how do you confirm the level of that interest in another person?’.  I liked my position that calling a person boy or girlfriend establishes a clear delineation between their ‘love ship’ and other intimate relationships in their lives, that being a ‘-friend’ is simple and clear.  Who DOESN’T know what that means?  How can you misunderstand the impact of that statement??  “I want you to be my girlfriend…”  There is absolutely NO air in that!

Maybe it sounds immature to describe to you family and friends that you have a ‘boyfriend’ and I understand that.  But is it too much to ask that you let a brother (or a sister, if you are one) know that they ARE that someone?  That wasn’t cool when Sam Wheat did it and it damn sure wasn’t cool when Jenny was doing it, keeping people who they knew loved them hanging, yearning to hear certain words from their lips.

In the ‘Bullsh*t Guys Guide To Playin’ Women’, that is the kind of wordplay creates larger vulnerabilities in a lady’s psyche.  Some of the ladies who may be reading this can co-sign some of how that works.  All the promises about how ‘he’s gonna leave her’ and talk of how ‘dead the relationship is’, usually is just talk.  So since semantics is linked to subterfuge, how about introducing clarity when and where you can.


…so pretty please, with sugar on top…

I hope that it is clear that I am building to larger, more relevant conversation.  There is no hang-over or anything regarding ‘Ms. Unlikely’ or even Nebraska (who has been nothing short of a peach of a friend to me).  But one of the idiosyncratic traits of my condition manifests itself in phenomena that I call ‘static’.  This played into my performance on the testing at Voc Rehab, and it happens when it happens.    But mainly it occurs when I am trying to solve for intractable problems within an otherwise simple solution.  Like letting a cat know he is special to you in that ‘special’ kind of way.

Or how about legitimately acknowledging your level of interest in a cat?  Either/or would be fine and is good, sound policy in a relationship if you ask me.  But if that is too much to ask or it has to be accompanied with an emotional outburst…

There are more important factors in my life that I have to deal with and wondering about who likes me and/or where I stand with someone is not among them.  


* Ashleigh * said...

Hey Mark! I'm sorta asleep right now but from what I read, you should know we cool :D lol

mrs. miss alaineus said...

i remember telling someone i was so all about mr. mischief when we first met. that's a little more friendly than partner, however i like partner too because we are partners in life and other things!

your attitude towards returning to school is to be commended. we are the only people that can keep ourselves down or hold ourselves back when it comes to wanting to learn.

wishing you well. the heat finally broke here yesterday.

LceeL said...

For some people, there are few steps between, "Hello", "Forget the condom", and "Let's get married". For others it's a far more arduous process.

And I like to say, "We're a couple". No Partners. Boyfriend. Girlfriend. None of that.

I like the word "Couple". It's and adjective AND a verb.

Toon said...

In my early 20s, I was usually attracted to men who are my age now. Freaky shit.

Jonthy, Alice the uppity white cat's babysitter said...

I've always been attracted to older men and I didn't play games in letting them know about my attraction (even when I was 21). I think young women who bait and switch or fend interest in someone are playing a dangerous game. I'm not talking about you because your writing attest to the fact that you are a gentleman but to her future teases. As we used to say as kids "You're cruising for a bruising.

Jonthy, Alice the uppity white cat's babysitter said...

Sorry, what I meant to say is "She's cruising for a bruising!"

DB said...

Mark, tht test is an observation and concentration test which is part of an actor's traning. Your abilities can be improved by doing it a lot and often in inventive ways.

I know a woman who married a guy because he kept showing up. So maybe it isn't what you say (boy friend - girl friend) but carefully laying down a carpet of being.


Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Nothing worse than a young flirt. I agree, "couple" is an excellent description. Keep on your game, you are making progress.

FrankandMary said...

Hmm. Letting the man know he is special to you. While I was dating Don I used to unbutton his shirts with my teeth. Do you think he knew he was special to me ;o?

You often let your mind take every path in these posts, tend every moment just a bit. I love that.

V said...

Ah1 so true. When it comes to the Smiths, the song speaks to you. :)