Thursday, June 23, 2011

EITHER SHE IS OR SHE IS...

...NOT ... ONE WAY TO FIND OUT




Last time I was here I was sort of wondering why Sen. Wiener was trying to imitate Tiger Woods.  He had underage girls AND a porn star in his among his ‘e-friends’?  Wow, that is the like two thirds of the ‘triad of trampin’, ain’t it?

Anywho, some of the comments left about my experience at the grocery store has been on my mind (still).  I had mentioned that I had seen a woman that did more than catch my attention.  Some of the comments that were left were a little surprising, a couple of them amounted to a light scolding for letting an opportunity go by, and others urging me not to let such an occurrence happen again.

*sigh* There are so many narratives streaming in my mind and they all explain why I decided to let ‘Miss Maybe-The-New-What’s Happenin’ go by.  Some of the reasons were along the lines of needless ‘puffery’ and others I figured would be received as a play for sympathy or worse, pity.  So where to hang my thoughts for this entry?  Why would I not be more forward with a woman that was a clear ‘top ten, maybe top five draft pick’, and return to my empty apartment??

TRUSTING THE PROCESS


That is what I woke up with today.  I don’t know it all like I was Melissa-Joan Hart, but I am working what I do know, and I know a lot!  And one thing that I do know is to begin a new relationship when there is another lingering in your heart can be ruinous.  Why would anyone want me to do something like that?  How many relationships of ‘unfortunate events’ have begun just as innocently, with the principal’s eyes locking and the smell of fireworks intertwined with the musk of physical attraction, and no one taking any consideration to their true availability??

It does not matter as to why someone else is in you heart as it does that there is.  Were I a malicious cat, then this would not matter.  No rings have been exchanged and no promises have been made between parties, so that means there is no one to be hurt, right?  Well, I know better than that.  I don’t think that I am the only person who has found themselves either on or catching someone on the rebound.  While I am not part of a committed relationship with Nebraska, I am ‘in’ something with her, until I decide on how available I am I may as well be 'in' a relationship.

…AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

Other that the unconvincing and sophomoric writing that chased me away from ‘Glee’, another thing was how the show portrays the relationship between the ‘gleeks’ and their rivals.  Even the relationships between the club members are a bit of a stretch, because I don’t remember too many ‘nerdling couples’ walking the halls of Stuck-on Itself High in Detroit.  As far as to why I never succumbed to hopelessness that turns most socially awkward and marginalized teenage boys into men in need of vitamin D, uh, I have always been two things – a talker and a thinker, with the former being the quality I have relied on the most.  Being able to think my way through my teenage years has allowed me to retain the confidence and promise that I have, or so the Germans would have me believe, and it was my version of the current ‘It gets better’ PSA campaign for the GLBT teens.  I never thought that I would have to live a life without a date or any of that other crap you wonder about as a teenage outsider.

And another thing about my adolescence… that was when I discovered how normal it was to be alone and I grew comfortable with my solitude.  So here I am again by myself.  Only this time, I have friends supporting me, concerned with my well-being and happiness.  Friends that have been with me through the eventual dissolution of my engagement and endured my transition from the Motor, to the Metroplex (and my SFC!), back to Detroit and finally, finally…

IT’S THE PLACE I WANT TO BE

Yup, I move pretty cautiously around town.  Not just in regards to my physical safety but my mental and spiritual health as well.  And that includes avoiding preventable mistakes.  Getting caught up between having affections streaming from the same place for two different people is one of them obvious things that I know I should avoid.

No, I am not trying convince myself that I am okay with how things are going right now regarding my love life, as  I am certain of it.  Anywho, Omaha is a small enough town that it would not be too surprising if I ran into the ‘Maybe Miss’ again… but yet I know how way leads on to way…

12 comments:

LceeL said...

My friend,

YOU are the most important person you know. You have to take care of YOU - first and foremost. And YOU are the only person you have to answer to. If you see someone that attracts you - there's nothing wrong in exploring that attraction - in order to measure its depth, if for no other reason.

mrs. miss alaineus said...

on one hand it's always good to make new friends- on the other hand, if your heart is still tied up, maybe it makes sense to just be two ships that passed in the night. i second what the dude above said. put you first and the rest will follow.

xxalainaxx

Indigo said...

You have a wise head on your shoulders Mark. Getting involved with someone else while your mind visits and years for another...

Well you already figured out what kind of disaster that presents. As in all things of the heart, no one knows their heart more than the one in which it beats. (Hugs)Indigo

DB said...

In light of what you've written here I say you did are doing the right thing.

Time tells all.

DB

Have Myelin? said...

Every time I come here I leave with a confused mind. I say that with a big smile. =)

I guess I'm the kind that can't stand to leave a rock unturned if it's asked me to pick it up. The ones not asking, I leave unturned. The ones out of state, well they're out of state and will still be there if nothing happens.

It's not like you're getting married. Or is it? LOL.

FrankandMary said...

You've already had a few perceptive critiques in comments here so I'll just add: You're right. ~Mary

ps loved the card :-)

Beth said...

Seems to me like you did what your heart and mind felt were right. You've been around the block enough times to know and trust your instincts. L&R

That corgi :) said...

wise move on your part, Mark!! I think you will know when and if you want to pursue any new relationship down the line; hope everything else is going well

betty

Lovebabz said...

My dear friend,
You always have to move at your own pace. You are the only one that can make decisions on your behalf. You have given this a great deal of thought and you are right for you.

Be well.

Jonthy, Alice the uppity white cat's babysitter said...

Mark,
I've been where you are more than once. The only difference is that I can't let go of the love and devotion I have for my husband who died 12 years ago. When you give your heart to someone unconditionally it is difficult to give it to another. My friends have helped me to realize that I can't just start over no longer how much time has passed. You know what is right for you in your heart. I admire your honesty

Thomas said...

I'm glad you're thinking of more than your physical well-being. More people, myself included, should take spiritual and mental precautions.

Wishing you all the best!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

A difficult dynamic for sure.