Tuesday, January 25, 2011

It’s been three weeks since I was hit (saying ‘My’ or ‘I was in’ an accident makes it seem like I was possibly a little reckless and somehow had a part as to why I was struck by a car and I absolutely did not do anything of the sort) and I still am not feeling all that hot. For every step forward there seems to be an annoying step backwards. Monday night it was baking some break ‘n bake cookies… I burned them while doing the dishes even with the alarm going off on my watch.

Since I left Mookie Dee, I haven’t felt vulnerable. Not while I was in the Metro at my Dad’s nor in Virginia while I was with the SFC. But there have been times since I been hit that I have felt in over my head.

Nebraska has been as kind and thoughtful as any human being out to be, so my feelings have nothing at all to do with her. In fact, I am surprised that she has been as good to me as she has so far. Called my Dad, keep touching base with the SFC, and Nixxie and KT are a laugh riot (Lexxie and her Mom were incommunicado and Skye is still Skye…), and this is still a decent enough place for me.

There are moments where my spirit really sags. Not being able to wash dishes and not burn cookies with an alarm going off is one of them.

Reading through a ‘Geek’s Journal’, I would not be surprised if he and his friends did not do what I did with cats I went to middle & high school (the core of my junior high lunch table mates and me were all accepted to the same select public high school) with would do. We’d sit around playing our own brand of D&D using heroes and villains from the major comic universes and write our own version of fan fiction-fiction, featuring those heroes. There are moments were a fragment of plaque breaks off and a memory comes floating to the top, bringing a warm smile along with it. Today it was of reading comic books and wondering why Dave Cockrum was replaced by John Byrne on X-Men and how cool I thought the Marvel Two-In-One crossover with Marvel Team-Up with Spider Man, The Thing, along with Thor and the Avengers, fighting against Thanos of Titan was. I loved how that ended… nice and neat with a logical conclusion and enough comic book wiggle room to breath life back into the protagonist (Adam Warlock) and antagonist (Thanos) later on. Anywho…

Some days I look at my Blogger profile and I ask myself, ‘Really now, where did that positive cat you claimed to be, go?’ Before anyone get to worrying about me, I have things to pull me through, one day at a time. Today it was a test of juggling things and I scored a 90 on that… got my MRI taken care of and did a little bit of shopping while I was out, and I did not get hit by a car just before I got home!! I have been holding on to a Target gift card (thank you anonymous donor!!) and finally used it to purchase a small sofa/sleeper for my apartment. Nebraska thought it a bit low to the ground but that is okay. I know what I want (again, wouldn’t be here if I was just guessing at things, now, would I?) and I tend to go for that, first. Pick up anything else I may have missed on the second sortie.

Hope to make my summer happen… which will consist of seeing my Carolina girls and crossing my fingers for school. If school doesn’t happen I will still be golden because I am not going to worry about it.  I am pretty sure I will have a good fall and before you know it, year one will be in the books.  Actually, I don’t worry about a lot of things as I have for real stuff to deal with. Finit.


Toon said...

Sending you good vibes on the school front. And all other fronts too.

Her Side said...

Oh my! I was surprised to return and see you were injured. Hang in there. Most people don't understand how physical injury can trigger very low spirits - no matter how big or small the injury.

It's good to see you have things to pull you thru.

Jonthy, Alice the uppity white cat's babysitter said...

I've been drinking a lot of wine tonight but I wanted you to know I read your blog. You are going to be Okay . . . I will it.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

As for fall, I expect to be in Omaha in November, will keep you posted as I get details.