"It could happen, so you had better watch."
While I don't have the trademark on that line, it fits how stuff happens in my life. Sorry about it, for those who blind faith and ignorance doesn't work for, but they have always worked for me. I am not cynical, THE WORLD is. If you can think of something and willing to put in the work to make it happen, then there you go. Some cat said something to the effect of "the man who says 'you can't' should get out of the way of the man who can".
By acknowledging my flaws, I hoped to learn from my mistakes. That is why I wanted and sort of hoped for 'a hater' to read me. Not for the give and take that would take place ... 'hit and run' commenting would NOT bother me. But I do think that having someone to bring a little rain with them to the picnic would have made me get even sharper.
'Repetition saves lives' and it saves dreams. I may not have 'known know' that someone was out there thinking of me, I did know that I was on someone elses radar. I had to keep doing what I needed to do.
IN SPITE OF OURSELVES
I have to do it here, because I won't make much out of it when we get together. On the rarest of occasions, I wonder what would have happened if ... when it comes to me and the SFC. We have even more in common than the things that made us such good friends as kids ... and it is easy for us to understand why we didn't connect during the interim. For those reasons and with one of the most common names ever in the mix, it would have taken something extraordinary for us to have ever run into each other. And what do you know, riding in on the outside, the darkhorse Extraordinary came flying across the wire!
Miss A posted this video (she would be 'my girl' if we were local!) and I think it is what I am looking forward to in Virginia. You have to get to the 90 second mark before the song begins.
I don't think I live in clouds but I don't live in denial. For instance, packing has giving me the flux. On Sunday, I couldn't move ... the feeling that I had was that this is what folks who are depressed and feel sorry for themselves feel. But I am not depressed, am I? Fake it until you make it, that is something that lives and breathes along with me!
Because in spite of myself, I will get 'er done! And I am going to be with a person who didn't blink when we caught up, and couldn't wait to to tell me that they loved me. Incroyable!!
Whenever I have imagined the best kind of relationship, I keep thinking that the principles tend to have a magnetism to one another, brought about by a sincere and genuine interest in the other person. We have that. And I feel that since we were ALREADY each other's best friend, that we can safely say that our partner is our best friend.
We will be together 'in spite of ourselves'. Man, that is so cool!
BUT IT STILL IS THERE
That nagging, 'go it alone' feeling. Have to admit that I was looking forward to that. Reality is reality, and not having to worry about anything that didn't deal directly to me, was something I was excited about as well.
If there was no 'cherry' on top of the sundae, would it taste any different? How much would it have 'brought to the party'? Not to diminish my hopes for me & Nebraska, but I was looking forward to going back to my apartment or whatever, closing my door and CHILLIN'.
No weekends of sitting around in my pajamas all day, going out only to get the paper, a McDonald's breakie, a soda along with a couple of Butterfinges. Fire up the radio and listen to 'Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me' and look online for stuff that interests me.
Being able to finally live for me ... anywho, 'freedom through submission' is some more internal sloganeering I have done. I do believe it to be true.