IS IT REALLY NECESSARY?
Cause you see, sometimes, I will reply directly to a comment or question. Other times, I figure context will clue readers in. But since a journal I read is going to do a 'context issue', I figure I should run one of my own.
WHY NEBRASKA (the place?)
Because before cable, satellite, and the internet, there were only three big networks, and a few static-filled UHF stations. On Sundays, ABC would do a highlight show of college football, and the Huskers and the Sooners were these awesome football powerhouses that I only ever heard and read of. Television being a regional thing, we would get a lot of Big Ten games. Occasionally, there would be double headers and we'd be lucky to get a game from the Big Eight (now the Big Twelve) Confrence. Oklahoma and Nebraska were the gorrillas in that conference, the Sooners and their wishbone, and Nebraska and their I-formation.
Was it the home uniforms, which reminded me of unfrosted strawberry pop tarts? The names of the running backs, Jarvis Redwine, I.M. Hipp and the rest? Whatever it was, Husker football had a hold on me.
Then, one of the local stations would run the 'Mutual of Omaha Wild Kindom', and I always, always wanted to go to the zoo to see if I could meet Marlon Perkins and Jim!!
A few years later, I would go to Iowa for a tournament and meet the nicest guy I ever did beat up from Nebraska. I liked the way he spoke about his hometown, and his state. And as a teen, I put Nebraska on my list, because if folks were as nice as this cat was saying, then maybe it would be a place I would want to go.
DO YOU KNOW GEORGE PEROT?
How about you, Alaina? Or am I that much older than you!!
He used to do a travel show on Channel 4, and it came on in the either before or after Mutual of Omaha. Now with a Mom like the one I have, who had me look to a life outside of Detroit, watching that show with her, was another reason I wanted to travel, and find a place to call my own. Detroit was still a cool place to live (no, I haven't read the article in Time yet ... prolly will get to it on Monday), I just happened to want to find my own spot.
That is why it may seem like I am conflicted about my hometown. I critize it and defend it with equal vigor. It comes up to being that I want to find a place to call my own, and that is ... well, we will see. I mean, I want to be happy, and who knows if it isn't somewhere off 6 mile Road or even Orchard Lake? I don't KNOW, but I do believe that it is more likely somewhere not around here. Anywho ...
THE MANY, MANY LOVES OF DOBIE GILLIS
But as I look back, it may have been the serial crimes of a game player. The few times I have been hurt, what with my ex wife and recently with Mookie, does not even comes within hailing distance of the women I have left wondering what happened, and what went wrong. Even Mookie herself, at one time was left staggering around like someone who walked out an explosion in a building. So as Argentina was bid not to cry for Evita, I don't want any tears shed for me.
In my late 20's, I committed to giving myself a real shot at finding what I wanted. Stop playing the game (though I didn't consider myself a 'player', but hey, just because the shoe is ugly, doesn't mean it doesn't fit), and try to put myself in the best postion to have the kind of relationship that I wanted.
And I was in that, with My Delta Girl. I had even gotten back into school, and we were really tracking to something special. But I still wanted to fight, at first being just something I dabble in, not too serious. I was a decent enough amatuer fighter in Detroit, so boxing in Carolina, I was a 'medium-sized fish' in a small pond. I turned pro, began to win some fights locally, then a few trips upstate as an 'opponent' turned out to go better than the smart guys expected. Before you know it, I was trying to be a big time fighter from the back woods, and that caused a rift between me and My Delta. By the time we thought to get over it, I had start getting into contract troubles as well as 'other troubles', with Nixxie.
So that put the kibosh on me and Delta. But Nixxie and I were just 'bunk buddies', and never in love. Would run into Pecan Sandie, who wanted to ... wait for it, RESCUE ME. First ladies, you CAN'T rescue someone, especially if you yourself don't have life guard skills. There is an art to saving a drowning person, and if you don't know it, you put yourself in peril.
While I do believe that she really wanted to be a partner with me, I was still in a fog ... there was just enough to obscure what was going on, and the next thing you know, I am in Atlanta, still trying to go to school, be a parent (cause Lexxie was on the scene now, dontcha know!!), and box. But to go into why things didn't work there is long and winding, and even now, still think that it would have worked, if like Mookie, Pecan Sandie could have found the ability to balance things better between us. Not that I don't think she ever didn't love me, but she knows what is what. I have the letter. She can't fake that. SHE wrote it.
SO WHERE DOES TEE JAY COME IN ... AND WHERE DID MOOKIE COME FROM?
Mookie came from 'my early burglary years'. And Tee Jay factors in, because ...
It took me a long time to move past our relationship. I think we broke up and it took me the better part of 3 years to want to be with anyone again. Hell, I wasn't even doing any 'pigeon hunts'.
Tee Jay and I had a really, really good relationship. I wasn't fazed by anything about her, and she was more than accepting of me for who and what I am. We were all good. But sometimes, 'things happen' and when they happen to happen when things REALLY HAPPEN, the next thing you know, you have heartbreak.
No details, but we fell out when my Mother left for her calling. Now, before this woman had entered my life, I had never, NEVER tried to make up with someone that I had broken up with, no matter who did the deed, her or me. Once the last bell had rung, it was over.
Tee Jay was different. I was hung over with her all that time ... all THIS TIME. But getting back, I didn't want to interfere with whatever she had going on. And by the time I had the nerve to sniff around her in the slightest, she had a new beau. So I left her alone. Period.
THERE IS A LIGHT AND IT NEVER GOES OUT
But I still wanted her. I didn't let anyone come into my life. I wasn't Wilt Chamberlain, but I wasn't Chuck Nevitt either. I was comfortable with my
'raw numbers'. I was only interested in trying to 'win the big game', and I didn't care what role I played. I wanted to be on a winning team.
Gonna have to leave it at that. Go STATE ... hope everyone has a great weekend!!