IF SHE HAD JUST MADE BREAKFAST

AND THAT SAYS IT ALL, TOO

Sometimes, trying to connect with my marital daughter is such a trial. Most of what is between us has been put there, and I am going to say it, by her Mother. Enough people have told me that she has done the typical custodial parent bad mouth thing, and that has festered in our Skye.

I never say much about her Mom. Do 'pick' at her when we are together, goad her just a little. She has to reign herself in because she doesn't want to look like what she really is. I have never told her my side of things, as she has been too young to have understood. Some time in '09, I will have to give her my version of 'what's what'. Don't know for certain why my ex messed over her last marriage. Do have a clue, but I will ask her to confirm it. Needless to say, I think even if we had made a 'safe and stable home', with this secret of hers looming, I would have done the same thing as her 2nd, and left her right where she was.

Today, it hit me as it does on infrequent occasions, that had she made me breakfast, it would have made for a big step towards us having a shot at being married. I haven't been able to keep to my log in at the start of most days, but I have always ever got up at or near the sunrise. And I am also a firm believer in getting a good breakfast in, before you walk out the door.

It would pain me greatly, to watch the Mook's scatter out of the house, half fed. Que sera. You want to lose weight, eat a real breakfast! Not to mix stuff up, this is about breakfast and my first marriage. This was one of MANY 'dead canaries' in our relationship.

SEE, IT IS LIKE THIS

I 'married' into a family. She has a daughter from another relationship, which was no worries for me. Being the oldest of five, I just let my step daughter be an 'add on' to my twin sisters and we hung out after work/school. We had long days, between me and Mom getting to our jobs, day care, school and training, all on one car, often (it was hers,and that is that about that) with our days beginning early and ending at home in the evenings, around 7 or 8 o'clock after I finished training.

This would mean that many days, we would get a late dinner. Now, I don't know about you, but while I eat junk, I don't 'snack'. When it is time for lunch, it is time for lunch, dinner, et. cetera.

Because of our schedules, I had to make sure I got up extra early to do my roadwork. Since we had to get things in gear, I would splash in the shower, get out and get the baby ready, while she got herself pulled together. After a few months, I sat her down and told her that I could miss dinner, but I needed to eat a decent breakfast, not a bowl of cold cereal. I explained to her how it affected me, and why that would be the most important thing she could do for me.

She couldn't find it in her to do it.

I think about that, because Celeste went through the program at Ft. Campbell, where you get to experience what it takes to go thru Air Assault school. If she is reading, I hope she doesn't mind me making this reference, because I thought that she took the extra step to make that identification with her partner ... which is so cool.

My thing is, I didn't understand at the time, why it was so difficult for her to scamble some eggs and fry some bacon for someone she was supposed to be in love with? I mean, I put up with a lot of her 'less than' qualities, even some of the 'teeth bringing' kinds of stuff that I did for her (before I got married, I had no idea of how you treat hemmorids ... suffice to say, I do NOW!), and we never had a problem with me being a 'parent' to her girl.

Having to work, train, and parent, I could have used a little something to help me be me. The way she acted, she took my efforts for granted, like they did not count, always moaning about how 'tired' she was. Not saying that she wasn't, but hey, I was rowing in that boat too ...

THIS SPRING

When I talk to Skye, I am going to tell her that many of the things she has been led to believe aren't true. I am going to flat tell her that she can make her choice ... she knows that me and her sisters are wanting to bond, and I will again look her in the eye and let her know that I love her. But I am not, NOT going to let her Mother get off scott free. Wherever I end up, if she ends up embittered towards me, then her Mom can deal with it.

Right or wrong, she is a teenager and can make a more informed choice than she did as a child. If her Mom has poisioned the well to the extent that I think she has, can't do any more than that. Period.