RANDOM THOUGHTS

SLUGGISH FIRST WEEK

I have always thought that you need to have a good start, to create the momentum that will carry you thru the inevitable lulls to come before you 'get there'. What do you do, when you stumble thru the start?

My bike has been griefin' me, with flats and everything. That has thrown me off, as well as the weather. Last winter was sooo hard, and I feel it in my bones. So I am not as willing to get out and into it as I am normally. This is reflected in my running times, as I haven't been able to pick up any speed. I guess I don't want to be out there.

Still, a slow start doesn't mean that it is time to chuck the whole process. In a 'sports as life' example, the NY Giants were stumbling through the early part of their season last year, and they ended up winning the Super Bowl. That momentum has clearly carried on this season, as they are still performing at a high level.

The lesson? Do NOT abandon your plan once it has been well thought out and do not change your goals if you are determined to get there. Period.

HAPPY

And that is what I am after most of all. Yeah, me and about a kabillion other people. I used 'kabillion' because I have always thought there are more happy people than not, and didn't want to 'jinx' the level of happiness in the world, by an erroneous estimate.

When I speak about the 'things I want', I leave that out. It is because, in its simplicity, it is the most complex item to describe. What is going to make you happy? Who really knows? I have never thought of 'happiness' as a thing, but the path you walk in your life. The sum of ones life should make a person 'happy', not a thing or an accomplishment. The sense of fulfillment that you get from reaching AND the maintenance you do along your path, is what makes you happy.

Oh, I don't know exactly what my happiness is, and that isn't a bad thing. We CAN'T know everything. I do know what I think. What is going to make me happy is just out of reach, close enough for me to keep after it, but far enough to where I have to stretch to brush against it. As it should be, to make me strive and work to achieve it.

I am open to suggestions! Don't get me wrong, because not only do I describe myself as a 'lovable mess', I love the mess I have made! Sometimes, I think that it gets a little contradictory because some of what I would like NOW, was in my life THEN. But the 'Run 'n Shoot' offense was the thing in my mind, and hey ...

One of the things I wonder, is if I am feeling 'proud' of some of those days. I mean, I smile when I think of some of them!! Now I have three girls who are going to have to fend off 'offensive co-ordinators' on their own ... irony, ain't it grand? One of the first things that helped me out was to REALLY forgive myself, and when I did that, I felt that what I wanted was possible.

HOLIDAYS

It isn't that I am a grump or carry hard feelings, but I don't care for the forced celebrations that occur during holidays. On the real tip, for the majority of my life, I have been thankful when I wake up. There is a smile on my face when I get to the shower!

I try to treat everybody well, and if I am out and thinking of you, then I may do something THEN. Therefore, it is 'hard' to be more of myself. I am not more thankful on the 4th Thursday of November than I was on the 3rd Tuesday of Februrary. I go outside in the rain just like I do in the sun.

When I was with Mookie, getting together with her peeps was interesting to me, because of the 'cat talk' that goes on most of the year, but now erry body was smiling in each others face. See, I think there ARE families where everybody gets along, aren't judgemental and really enjoy seeing each other. Hutch is part of such a family. So is Nixxie and KT.

Okay, so you aren't going to have a 'Very Brady Christmas'. But I have always wondered what do people do that keeps them from having the holiday that they want? Sort of what keeps them from having the LIFE that they want. The level that THEY PARTICIPATE in making something happen isn't there to make things the way they want them to be. When it doesn't happen and they start pointing at everything but themselves.

That is something 'those people' repeat in their daily lives as well. And they wonder why they are where they don't want to be.

COLLOQUIALISM AND PATOIS

One of the reasons that I don't care for slang, I think goes back to being picked on as a child. It was the language of bullies, and of ignorance. But slang has its place in communicating thoughts effectively. So I put up with it. Some.

Folks who know me, always raise an eyebrow when I blurble some phrase that I may have heard on MTV or picked up from a rap song. Even when I use one in my writing, it is almost always tongue in cheek.

Almost.

Sometimes, when I need to speak to people 'up close and personal', I might use a street idiom. But I am not smiling. Someone better call Adlai Stevenson to negotiate, because one false move and ...(oh, and the same when I get profane. I am so besides myself with anger then ...)

I pick up words and phrases ... some from the journals I read, others from books and it goes without saying, songs. Twist 'em around and put them down and claim it as mine!! There's no copyright that says I can't, is there?

I take words, put them in a pot and mix them up like a gumbo! Not to impress myself, but to make me feel good. To think that I was able to get what was inside me out, is quite a feat.

Guys that can draw like Russ, or play music, I have always been envious of. To create something out of the nothingness in the space between ... that is so supercool. This second, I am watching the video that I posted of the Radiohead song, 'All I Need', set to the film 'Microcosmos'.

I had wanted to see the film when it came out. I think it would be a cool date movie. Could have seen it at the Main in Royal Oak and walked across the street to whatever restaurant there (and yes, I would have stopped at Astoria too!), and talk and let our minds breathe.

WHAT IS STREET CRED?

And if you don't have it, do you need to go and get it? I am becoming verklempt just at the thought of not having it!! That's the topic ... DISCUSS!