IT'S WINNING TIME

SO YOU SEE, I GET IT

And that was the purpose of this series talking about 'Darkhorses'. Could go on and on, but the point was that I realize that simply 'wanting' is different from 'having', and that because you expect good things to happen, doesn't mean that they are. There is a lot of work to be done, and that I am willing to do it.

The President elect wrote a book, 'The Audacity of Hope'. I used to walk around on Market St. in Greensboro, and the yard at A&T saying that! Too bad I didn't trademark that, who knows. One of the reasons that I used to say stuff like that, is because I was trying to do something that other people couldn't see happening.

When I landed in G'boro, I didn't know where anything was as I had never been there, and had barely completed my application to get into school. DID NOT KNOW A SOUL. What I had done to get there, was what I knew, and that wasn't much.

I remember sleeping in my car A LOT. Remember going to shelters and taking showers and getting food. I remember what it felt like when I found a full time job at the mall, and finally started making friends. There was runs cross town, 10 miles a wop at night, to get in beat down only to start the process over, going to class, training and then to work.

The memories of that time, where it seemed that even as there weren't enough hours in the day, I got what I needed AND what I wanted done, has stayed with me. I absolutely know what it is like to climb mountains and come down a hill. So I went through this, talking about what else may lie in wait for me, to get to this point.

Winning time.

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

There comes a point where you have to forget about 'what if's', and commit to your goal. This is what Obama's election means to me. That it comes with a 'new electoral map' is something else that profoundly affects me. It says to me, that there are others who feel the same thing, that want to simply hope, and they are willing to trust in that hope.

Screw the politics, because no matter who won, I would have to deal with them. Now I can feel comfortable getting back into being me, because there are a lot of people who put their faith in what they hoped for, and hope in their faith. That is what this Presidency will mean to me.

My heart goes out to the soldiers. But I don't have any real tangible intellectual investment in any policies or whatever. It simply is too far above my pay grade to care about it. This is why I wanted to wean 'thinking too much' out of me, because it is finally time to think about the most important thing in my life.

Me.

Getting ready for fights, you can't be worried too much about what your opponent is going to do, as much as you can train to do what you can do. You look for certain things, and you try stuff, but for the most part, you do what you do and go with that. One of the great things about boxing, about sports in general is that it is pass/fail. You can judge the body of your work by one thing.

Victory.

Getting rid of the 'yips and bugs' will be next. Remaking oneself takes an appreciation of time and expected setbacks. The thing is, to fall forward, like a powerful running back, when he is being tackled, his momentum takes him to the positive side of the tackle.

Other than the annoying spelling and bad grammar, I have made quite a stride from when I started this thing. Haven't forgotten what that felt like ... anyway, I look forward to where I plan to go from here.

THE BIG FINISH

Okay, while I want to go to Nebraska, the goal is to find someone to share my life with. Period.

"What he left behind he hadn't valued, half as much as some things as he never knew." That is something that has always held great importance for me. That is what my hometown is, a 'thing that I don't value' over what is yet to be discovered.

But at what cost? Because that is the thing ... what do I value?

Now that hope is back on the table for me, I am going to hope that what I want is going to be there, after I act on what I want, taking one step after the other to get there. In spite of the odds, with little regard to the risks. I have to. I want it that bad.