DARKHORSES

SCRAPING ALONG THE WAY

But I am still going forward. One of the awkward things about this particularly necessary portion of my journal, is the objectification of women that I am doing. Seems wrong, but sometimes I forget I AM A MAN! Men think this way, and that is that. I really believe it is instictive, and it is as crucial to the species as the Mothering instinct that women have.

I could go on with some psuedo-smart explaination, one where I'll have some half-truths and mistaken assumptions from books and classes I have forgotten. But it is what I feel, and have come to accept as accurate in my mind.

So I am going to go on with it. Apologies to those who may be disappointed by this.

STILL FEELING WHAT I FELT

There are similiar reasons AKA and SD, though they are among the top half of 'the field', run clearly behind the leaders. They have an 'I don't know what the f*ck to think or say', to them that I can't abide. Because of that, I think that women avoid a share of the responsiblity to where a relationship is heading, their part in determining where it is going.

It has always been important that I knew 'what's what' regarding my partner. Looking at the 'Kirk-Spock' or even 'Jordan-Pippen' relationships, you see that though one was decidedly the 'alpha', the 'beta' was just as capable of being the head, the leader.

Being a guy, results actually do matter to me. Are you happy? Is this good for you? Because if we are aren't all on board, then there is no use in going any further, is it?

I would rather see my partner happy and me being alright, than for me to be happy and risk my partner being something 'other than good', feel me?

Men think differently and process things differently than women do, BUT the goal isn't different in a relationship, or it shouldn't be for either a man or a woman. I think that when you let go of your indiviual wants for what is best for the relationship, the processing of both changes and you go from 'Mars and Venus' to being on THE EARTH ... the only planet we know that is able to sustain life.

The differences are to bring us together, so that we realize that we need one another, and it filters down to individual traits. We pick up and match up where we can and BUILD. AKA and SD, still don't know crucial things about THEMSELVES, let alone about being in a relationship. You do need to know what you are building with. I do think that with either of them, the chance of managing a lasting relationship hinges on the question of their finding enough of themselves to be present in a relationship.

And knowing yourself, is no guarantee of finding a partner or being in a succesful relationship.

DECOMPRESSING

It is impossible to get a newspaper. Went to get breakie at the McDonald's near the house, and it was short staffed and being overwhelmed. Didn't get anything, left and road a mile to a Burger King, and though it was an hour past the time on the sign, the doors was locked. Had to ride another mile, to a combo gas station/Mickey D's. The entire episode reminded me of what I don't like about Detroit.

From municipal services, to customer service, I feel as I am being treated like a second class citizen. And people accept this. I don't mean accepting crap from the store owners and merchants, but in the form the citzenry for allowing things to erode to where it is accepted that we are treated this way.

This isn't how it is in other places. I know, because I have seen and been there.

Going to go see 'Rachel's Getting Married' with Tee Jay and her daughter on Monday. I think it is playing at the Maple out in Bloomfield Hills. Looking forward to that. And that is who my 'movie partner' is going to be, no pressure, and we can enjoy good company. Would I like for something to happen? Sure would!

Doesn't meant that something is going to happen. But you never say never, cause you know it just might!