Wednesday, February 13, 2008

... outta my mind ...

... no, really ...

I listen to NPR ... Started when I was in my teens and traveling in beaters to fights in the Midwest.  My trainer didn't have a 'boomin' system', and I clearly recall a trip west to Des Moines and falling into the mellow voices talking about the big stuff.  I was caught at how different the news they spoke of sounded, and the things they were talking about.  I was already a Canadian Radio One listener, and I hadn't grasped the concept that America would have a similar network on the radio.

Duty, Duty ...

I am going to say it clearly right here.  Not doing anything special on Valentine's is a cop out!  People get the willies and everything, talking about how it is sooo commercialized and signifies nothing.  Apparently it does signify something, whether it was someone's big marketing idea, stolen from an ancient pagan ritual, it is here, so celebrate it!!  See, if for no other reason than to be GOOD TO YOURSELF, do that!  I mean, show SOMEONE you love them, even if you have to love yourself (uh I don't mean self-love, smarty pants!  You'll go blind doin' that ..!).

The way that I am cut, loving is just a part of me.  As quiet as is kept, loving comes fairly easy to me.  Somehow it got tied in with my sense of duty and it is my job to show someone love.  This makes for conflicts in my moral center given some of the things I have done.  But trying to deny that part of me makes things worse. 

Because I love me, I will do the things that I do.  Comes as natural as breathing to me.  From giving my sisters cards and bringing my Mom flowers, to what I have done in relationship, I do something ...

... but 'Sweetest Day' ... screw THAT one! 

Stayin' Indoors ...

It has been a long time since the weather has gotten to me as it has this season.  It isn't even about the weather making it prohibitive, as much as it has sapped my will.  Part of it is the friggin' winter blahs.  Sure I am 'sunny-side up' guy (actually, I like my eggs over medium), but February hasn't taken any prisoners!  Anyway, I am going to clean up the junk in the basement ... it is cluttered down here and it is all my junk!  Hopefully, I will stumble across my watch (still sayin' that prayer ... and I still have my faith in it ..!).

Still going to do some 'work' (that what I call fitness stuff, 'work').  I have a routine that I make use of a kitchen chair, and I got a little yoga/stretch thingy going.  Oh, and I have an exercise ball and resistance band that I make use of.  Also, because I live in a town home, I do something that I call 'down and ups', where I start in the basement and walk up and down for a '1' count.  I do at least 20 of those.

Mysteries of the Chess Boxin' ...

Uh, that is a Wu-Tang Clan song.  Though this is part of my fitness routine, it is also a spiritual thing for me as well.  When I do stuff in an athletic way, my coodination seems to come 'back' or at least enough for me to be fooled into thinking I can still box.  I would like to get into the ring and do my thing, but I really, really, shouldn't.

Doesn't mean I won't try someday.

Anywho, when I shadow up, I can fantasize about being the fighters I used to admire, fighting fights I would have dreamed about with a different style from what I had as a boxer ... I get to be Tommy Hearns with the low left hand or Ike Williams with the murderous punch.  I feel so different than how I feel otherwise ... that is a spiritual experience for me.

See, I knew that by getting fit, I would eventually find myself back to me.  One of the reason that I am positive is that when I run 4 miles in the cold, I have just done something that you can't do ... and that is how you build confidence.  That is another reason I drop references to 'The Biggest Loser' and training, not because it is something I am good at, but because it is a spiritual transformation.  Your thoughts change from worry and your short comings, to all the things you can do.  No matter how bad your day is, when you drop and do twenty push up and twenty sit up and twenty toe touches, you have in less than 15 minutes went from what ever brought you down, to a place where you have just done 'yes you can' for that period of time.

Nothing beats confidence.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I used to listen to NPR all the time! very informative programming; I learned a lot listening to it; kept up with more of what was going on when I did.

Wonder if you have a case of SADD this year (seasonal affective something or another); it hits a lot of people in the winter months because of the lack of sunshine, darker days, etc.  Google it and see what you think. I know if we have a few days without sun, it does affect my mood

wishing you a great day!

betty

Anonymous said...

My problem with Valentines Day is way too many put a price on love! Many more tend to think only in terms of a single day or holiday, instead of the other 364 days of the year. Sure do something nice on Valentine's Day, but make damn sure your the type of person that will do the same thing the rest of the year. Doing something on a commercialized holidays doesn't give you a pass. I see people who care for each other, that will simply write a love letter on Valentine's Day to one another. To me that speaks volumes compared to the expensive jewelry, maddening dinner reservations. If you want to celebrate it show your love in a way that doesn't border on insanity. (Hugs) Indigo

Anonymous said...

Why shouldn't you box anymore?

Anonymous said...

You are very resourceful!  How many people say they don't work out because they can't afford a gym??!!  Here you are using a chair!  I say if you can walk, at least walk!  Do something, move :)  We have stairs at work, no elevator, and there are times when I've hit those stairs 6 or 7 times a day...I am beat!  I agree that doing something extra special on V-Day is something you have to do.  Just anything that is extra.  
xoxo ~myra