DAY NUMBER TWO
I don’t have any pictures of me ‘acting a fool’(which is the challenge for today), certainly none that would not be ironic. What I can do is maybe talk about me acting a fool… and that would be anytime I find myself dancing!
It doesn’t matter the song or genre, I never seem to catch the ‘rhythm of the stroke’! In my mind’s eye, I see me and my partner dealin’ like Vinnie Vega and Mrs. Wallace… and the reality is that, at least concerning me, is that it is coming across more like this cat here! I have a high tolerance for embarrassment, especially when it comes to sacrificing a wee bit of pride for the sake of someone else’s good time. When you are a good sport, you never think of yourself as ‘looking like a fool’ as you do a being part of an event where high spirits and fun are present!
Now if I am lucky enough to hear a song that I really, really like at a gathering, the likelihood that I will feel the need to get out and ‘cut a rug’ increases geometrically to my partner’s reticence! At first, it stings, because it is still a rarity for me to hear a song that moves me to purposely look foolish. But I quickly get over it and look for a dance partner! And how do you know that there is someone else who is willing to dance with you, especially if you can’t dance..?
BEING RETIRED DOESN’T MEAN ‘MY SKILLS’ HAVE GONE ANYWHERE
I think that when you are happy with someone in a relationship it shows and people can pick up on that contentment. It is that simple. When I was in with people who liked being with me I was less aware of anyone flirting with me then whenever I was in more problematic relationships. When I think about it, I feel a little bit like Michael Jordan when a fan at a fantasy basketball camp asked him if he could still dunk. How ludicrous a question is that? Not only can he still dunk, I bet he is also good for 15 – 20 points a night coming off the bench! It will be A LONG TIME before I can no long ‘spit game’. Right now I am still trying to get used to being here and settling in before I think about whether or not I am going to date anyone in the near future.
For me, the idea of being single ‘forever’ is not as troubling for me as it is for others because of my perspective. Sometimes I do miss having another person around to rub my shoulders and my back, but that is because I am sorta broad and I have an itch where I can’t get scratched! Also, because I am still growing and changing, I think that what I am looking for and expecting is still changing with me and I don’t know what it is I want in my next partner. But I am still pretty sure of what I don’t want…
4 comments:
I've always assumed that I would remain single...46 & holding. I find that many people like the illusion of protection that goes along with the Idea of having a partner. I was never into that specific illusion. I mostly take an anthropological stance on relationships, even my own. A quite interesting study, but....
I have to say, I know a select few people who've really made it work for them. They are the exception in my circle, not the rule.
That's the one big difference between you and me - I don't do well alone. I need people around me - close to me - I am at my best when I am 'with' someone. 34 years, so far. This time. I think, maybe, this is the last time - and the one that will last.
I believe we will never completely figure out what we want. A lifetime isn't enough for that.
Love
Daniel
The key is to grow together.
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