BUT MY DADDY LEARNED FROM MY MOMMA…

SO RESPECT MY STYLE..!

I have only been following Art Skool Damage a short while, but I definitely like what I am seeing!  The other day this entry about fitting/not fitting in with the rest of the herd featured videos of David Bowie, the New York Dolls, T. Rex, and Siouxsie and the Banshees.  Reading through the entry and watching the videos I was first transported back to when I prolly first heard of these bands and their music… and it made me think about how these artists were viewed at the time.  I mean I know how they were seen from perspective but at that moment, what kind of cache did the Dolls or Bowie have at the time?

Though I only can say I ‘knew’ of the Dolls, Bowie and T. Rex 45’s were among my Mom’s record collection and I can still hear the faint echoes of  ‘20^th Century Boy’ and ‘Fame’ from the stereo when we lived over in the 48235.  Since I was the one who would play her ‘Britpop’ records, the reason that I question what kind of image they had at the time is my wondering about what my Mom made of my fascination with them. 

After my Aunt came to live with us in the'219 and I was a sophomore in high school, we did have a long emotional conversation about ‘who I was’.  I had thought she had begun to see me as tracking like one of her sister’s sons, who were living that ‘street life’, and had begun their life-long relationship with the criminal justice system.  So I resisted her attempts to put me in a box… but I never really understood what that box was.

I hint a little about my sexual experiences… not because I am a tease (but there are those who would debate that point) but because it is kind of boring to talk about.  Why do people climb mountains?  Why do meth heads keep scratching at bugs that aren’t there??

Somewhere on the interwebz I mentioned that I have serious problems with people who try to hassle me about religion and about intolerance regarding ‘the gays’ (and what not, Chaz Bono, I'm lookin' at you..!).  But I forgot to mention a third way you can be ‘downgraded’ if not written out of my life- being prudish in the bedroom.  Seriously, not for play.  I would tell a young lady that, “I could NOT imagine being bothered with the ‘mess’ of trying to get at someone if it wasn’t going to worth my trouble”, and I meant it. 

Also, for a group ‘tired of all the games that are played’, women certainly have a lot of games to play when it comes to sex and what constitutes ‘the favors’.  I think that it is perhaps their biggest vulnerability when it comes to relationships.  But this isn’t about that, as this is more about why I would trade a ‘salad tossing’ for a ‘facial’!

I had gotten caught with a stash of porn, and the emphasis should be on ‘porn’.  The magazines I had gotten my hands on weren’t Playboy, Penthouse or the goofy (to me) Hustler.  These books were in plastic wrap and would retail in $3 for $10 packs.  Not all of the pictures were color and the models were pretty but very ‘real’.  I remember thinking that they reminded me of girls who ran away to be something but fell WAY SHORT of that goal.

My Mom reacted by taking me aside lecturing me about not having respect for women but sexual identity!  Mind you, my darling brother was the one who fought like Miss Piggy ( or Wonder Woman… I mean LITERALLY… he either used the ‘hi-yaah!’ karate chop or would spin around and expect to …), would run around prancing like LeRoy on the telly show ‘Fame’, while I… oh never mind, never mind.

Even though the Ol’ Dirty Bastard of the Wu-Tang clan seemed to a clown, like Public Enemy’s hype man Flavor Flav, he was much more than a sideshow.  Though his solo album wasn’t released until ’95, way back in the day when I was in high school, the attitude he had in this song (which is so NC-17!).  The so-called freaky or nasty girls were the kind of girls that I wanted … not the ‘bad’ girls because they were just bad, you know?  I mean girls with criminal records and trying to find the next hit of crack, thanks but no thanks homeboy!!

Still the kind of sex that I wanted to be a part of my then future relationship was still beyond the pale.  Not only that, it was also about the girl’s self-esteem.  How could I convince someone that the stigmatization of seeking pleasure was overrated, as I wouldn’t think any less of her… after all, it does take two, and wouldn’t it make me just as dirty?

Just like I have never been to Africa (and I don’t want to go there, either) and I would like to get to the South Pacific and the Yukon, I have been enough places in the world, including a couple of places (Monte Carlo and Russia) that I never ever expected to see. Should I to run into someone that wanted to travel out of the country, man, where would my motivation come from?

I am sort of like that about relationships.  Why?  Why would I WANT (not the general want for love and those things there, but ME) to be bothered with figuring out how to convince some woman to let me put their ankles next to their ears!  The drought that Mookie Dee induced at the end of our relationship may have been a precursor, getting me ready for my current drought.

Whenever I have brought up my ‘retirement from the game’ (because it IS a game, believe it or don’t) in my blog, there is usually feedback assuring me that there is someone out there for me… and I am sure there is.  It is just that I am not sweatin’ that aspect of my life right now.

BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT…

I guess being a part of a ‘couple’ and in a ‘loveship’ has its benefits.  There are moments where I would like some company, especially when there are things I’d like to do but being able to get there makes it prohibitive.  Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have someone here to watch some telly with and talk about things that come ‘up and out’.

Yeah, I have MOMENTS.  But they pass, quickly in fact, because I don’t think that they are ‘true’ emotions.

NEXT:  IT’S BIRTHDAY SEASON..!