THINGS THAT I DID NOT KNOWTHAT I LOVED* (an entry inspired by a poem I
read while I was visiting next door to Alice 17 June 2009)
It is May 15th,
2012 and I am in school awaiting my 10 o’clock class to begin on gloriously
bright and warm spring morning. As I
lock up my bike, I remark to another student at how nice a campus this is, and
in fact, at how nice all of the campuses are for Metro Community College. He nodded in agreement and we exchanged more
small talk and waved as we head to where we each were going.
The instructor for my
Information Systems class last term passed me in a corridor, one who I had my
first term. He is an avid cyclist and
that gives us a point of common interest to speak to one another when our paths
cross. But today I am unable to recall
his name, and that frustrates me to this very moment. But I am not alarmed as this was a common occurrence
while I lived “in the provincial town that I jogged ‘round” and I have long ago
been “over it”. Still, it frustrates me
because he is a good instructor and it is always nice to return warm
greetings. I smile and ask if he is riding
today and since we are going in opposite directions, I leave him with a
colloquial “See ya”, and I head to class.
I never know if people like
my instructor feel the same kind of lift when I see them and they acknowledge
me, though as for that, I am sure that they do.
Not to seem as if I was their “pet” or anything, but he and my English 2
instructor often speak to me when they see me.
The English instructor, most pleasantly and almost informally, address
me as if we were actual friends beyond school, and it isn’t about any of the
rules of attraction, at least on my behalf.
She is a slight, petite single woman who was mildly amused by my varied
taste in music. She began to speak to me
this term each time we would run into one another and make real conversation…
telling me about her daughter and her search for a new home, which did result
in her purchasing a house and the note being less than what she paid to
rent. Today, I would see her as I tried
to pull up this photo on my cell phone, but she was off to her first class and
I had a bad case of the fumbles.
As I sat in the corridor waiting
to go to class, a fellow student and her Mother (who is also a student!!) came by
with their pet Cockatoo out of its cage, perched upon the daughter’s
shoulder. The daughter is another one of
the people that I speak to every day and for the longest did not know where I
had made her acquaintance, but I did recall where I know her from, my
association with her beau, also a student at Metro. So I guess the instructor’s name was pushed
out to make room for this young lady…
…and now her Cockatoo! I remembered thinking how nice it would be to
have a pet bird, a big one like a Cockatoo around, to teach tricks and to
speak, an animal to keep me company.
They are long-lived and as you can see, able to show affection. It was exciting to see his feathers crown (or whatever it is that it is called) as she spoke to it.
In the initial clamor that he brought about by his appearance, the bird
must have gotten a little nervous and made a dropping. The young woman’s Mother was prepared to bend
down and clean after the bird when I took the tissue paper and fell to my knees
and did the job. I was suddenly an
8-year old boy, and I was taking care of my neighbor’s bird. I asked if it would be fine if I touched the
Cockatoo and as you can see, she did me one better by putting the bird on my
shoulder and telling it to give me a kiss!
In my first class, we did
evaluations of our group members and turned them in. One of the members of my group, a young Hispanic
male, had sent me an email about, wait for it, AMWAY! This was done the night before and I wondered
if he knew what he was getting into. He
asked if I wanted to participate and I had to tell him, “Thanks, but no thanks,
I’m drivin’”, as most distributors that I know are as successful as Dick DeVos gubernatorial
bid was a few years ago with Amway. I did
not tell him I thought it was a pyramid scheme, but I did make it clear that I
thought it was going to be difficult to sell, but at the same time it could be
possible that he was the next Amway success story. It isn’t for me to dash his enthusiasm, but I
was clear in elucidating that I thought there were other more reliable ways of
success.
As the last group made its
presentation, I turned to the female member of our group and said, “I am glad
we went first,” and she agreed. While we
don’t know what our grade will be, after watching everyone else do theirs
following ours, I feel more than comfortable with our work. The instructor also told me that a paper that
I turned in a day late would receive full credit, because, “you know”. Often, because I don’t go around shouting to
the world that I am disabled, it slips my mind that I am, as I am immersed in
the moment and focused on doing. It
never really dawns on me that being disabled I have certain allowances that can
be used to help me out. Having enough
time to do an assignment is one of them, and while I aim to get things done “on
time”, I do get to turn things in a reasonable amount of time, if slightly
late.
Of course there was a quiz in
my Algebra class… and as always I left thinking that I scored 100%. It isn’t that it is wishful thinking as I
have said before, but I studied, took my time and did the best to my
ability. What has become clear this
term, as it showed itself in the previous term I have to find a way to get vacuum-tight
with arithmetic. But what I really wish
is that I could take the quiz on a totally separate day, without the “static”
of another class, but that may be of future referencing. Who knows, I think it is still feasible that
I pull this out of the crapper and move on.
You can’t say it is over until it is over!
Unlike most people, the
things that often they take for granted, I don’t. I am glad that I get to walk up and down the
hills in town, especially now that I have a great big walking stick to do so
with! Before long, it will be as
characteristic as my bike or school bag, or even my running, as many people recognize
me through that association. And that is
something else that I am thankful for, that people know me by the things that I
DO, not by the things that I talk about or wish I were doing. I don’t talk about being pleased with my life
and then act like I have been sucking on a brine-soaked cucumber. I stay upbeat because I am upbeat, and it is
sincere. I think that my school-mate and
her Mother got just as big a kick out of my reaction to their pet as I did to
the bird. It is the honesty of my actions,
the integrity of my spirit that is a part of what makes people “like” me. It also helps that people are simply nice
here in Omaha, too!
While I don’t have a car (but I have a
pair of Reeboks!) to show KT around town
in, I am sure that between the taxi and the bus system, wherever we need to go
will be gotten to, some kind of way. There
are a couple of “date places” that I had thought I would have already gone to
that I will take her, and I can’t wait until my co-tenants get a glimpse of
her! Not like I plan on showing her off
or anything, but the kind of glow that I think I will have cannot be but
noticed! And I do plan on taking and
sharing pictures of her as well!!
I hope that I am not being
morbid when I say this but if I were not to wake or see another dawn, I will
have lived quite a full life. Each day
as I expend my energies to making a future happen, I am still well aware of the
moment and how mortal I am. My Mother,
two Aunts, and of course, my dearest, darling younger brother, have left this
mortal coil before any of their family and loved ones wanted them to. And the poem made me think about the things
that I did not know that I loved even more, as I try to appreciate the
opportunity I have had with this existence.
The Jungle Brother’s declaring that, “You don’t know if there will be
anymore,” really sparked something in
me. I cannot stress that enough,
especially if my genes are not meant to go much further.
While I would ache for my
daughters, I do not hold any fear of my death.
Mainly because I have filled as much as I would have wanted into my
life, as I have lived my dreams, not as full as possible but lived them nonetheless,
and I am cool with what has happened.
Man, I am tired. Next week I will have my orientation, and I am
stoked about that! Then I will be
awaiting KT and my summer of love and fun will be set to begin!! And as always… I will see you later, unless I
see you first!!
5 comments:
I so liked this entry, Mark! So fun to travel along with you on this day and to see your encounters with others. It seems like you are making (have made) your niche there. It does also sound like summer will be a very good one for you; so glad that you'll be able to show KT a bit of where you live!!
(thanks for your kind words about my picture :)
betty
This post was amazing! Reading this was so fun.
www.modernworld4.blogspot.com
Another term done, glad you get a summer of fun, you have earned it.
I think part of the reason you are tired is that you do not submit yourself to just any situation...you create new ones.
And you are a very gregariously accessible man(which has nothing to do with tired, but, I felt the need to add that). I see lots of good things coming.~Mary
ps I don't fear my death either, & that is freeing.
Progress and vision of new things to come...me likey :-)
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