HOPE EVERYONE ENJOYED THE HOLIDAY!
It was a nice, calm one in these parts. Didn't do too much of anything, which can be a good thing. I have always been one that has felt that the appreciation of not having a hectic holiday gets a short shrift.
Haven't been bothering with the news too much, as I have had to try to concentrate and deal with my inner 'James at 16' and work my way out of whatever I am in.
YOU DO IT
I want everyone who have left 'can do comments', to know that I do appreciate their words. I do take them to heart and reflect upon them when I face different challenges. But man, I am tired, tired, tired.
There hasn't been too much of 'when it's gonna happen for me', talk from me. More than once, I have had the chance make my life happen. Each time that I want to feel down about how things have ended up, I can't escape what decision I made that made the difference.
For someone who has been so irresponsible, I feel the weight of being responsible for a lot of stuff. And some of it, perhaps I shouldn't have to carry that weight. Yet when it comes to saying, 'because of ...', the words catch in my throat.
Had I simply done what I felt that I should have done ... sorry, if I am talking in circles, but it feels like I am 'driving straight' to me. 'Keeping my eyes on the road' is a personal issue that I hoped to avoid. For some odd reason, I don't think that I have always kept myself 'first' in my life.
Figuring out where I wanted to go from the 'provencial town I jogged 'round' to getting out west took a lot of time and effort. To me, it wasn't random. It was a with a purpose.
I don't think I will revisit this subject until I know what I am going to do.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I HAVEN'T SPOKE ABOUT IT ENOUGH
The SFC has been totally and completely wonderful to be around. All the running around and loose threads that have been dangling about and getting snagged, she has been rightthere getting them untangled. She has been as the kids once used to say, 'all that and a bag o' chips!'
Since we met right out of high school, the ideal of wishing that all my friends, in our case from our old unit, could see us applies quite accurately. I keep imagining that there would be a lot of jealous cats eyeballing me... but at the same time, it would be like an open secret being confirmed, everyone seeing us together.
EXPLOSIONS
The other day I was doing some 'excavating' on a blog, you know, digging up on entries that have been old and gone for a few days and came upon this one by Huckadoll. It was very noticeable for me because she mentions a song and a band... and now that most of y'all have been briefed on my association of life and music, when I saw that she was speaking on 'The Birth And Death Of The Day', her entry had my rapt attention.
Bands like this and Mogwai (there are a couple of others who are escaping me at this moment) are called 'post rock', which is another one of the added descriptions to dillute people from coming together and bringing their enjoyment of something good together. Cause see, I am thinking if you can dig the band Spiritualized, then you could find something here with 'Explosions', just as I make the jump from Prodigy to Cinematic Orchestra. It is all good, and I do mean that it is all good.
Reading her entry, what this song represents to her stood out most of all:
"...it’s all about Explosions in the Sky ‘Birth and Death of a Day‘ – which I believe is the most inspiring musical creation in the history of music … oh my GOD, this song and video are so good that my mind wants to explode in pleasure after I do something wild like grow wings and fly around the world sprinkling golden fairy dust while kissing millions of cheeks and delivering taser shots of love … it’s seriously so inspiring and gorgeous … a reminder of why I’m alive … to experience beautiful things like this."
Because as true as it is for her and for me as well, there is something else in it that makes it appropriate for 'other things' in my mind. I think that it begins with the different types of footage that the music is set to. For her, the song is set to the wonderful clips from the movie 'Koyaansqatsi'.
For me, mine is a piece of concert footage from a EITS show in Seattle that the person who shot the film describes as 'epic'. Because as beautiful as the song is, and as much as it makes my spirit want to ascend to the heavens and into space, it also makes me feel other things.
Watching the band play and seeing how agonized they are creating such sonic pleasure, reminds me of how much effort and work goes into making something come true. And how disappointing it can be when after all that effort, you fall short of your mark. I think the boys in the band meant it like that ... otherwise they wouldn't have titled it 'The Birth And Death of the Day'.
SEE, IT'S THE 'DEATH' PART
I am not a morbid cat nor a negative one, either. Knowing what it is you are up against and still being willing to face it, is some kind of a sign of character. What kind, I am not sure. Sorta want to say it is a good sign though.
To me, that you have to deal with the 'death' of things so that you can enjoy the 'birth' allows one to endure those things that make them stare blankly into space and wonder what is happening. For instance when my boxing career 'died', I was comfortable with what happened. Gave a good whack at it and it didn't happen. I know there were things that 'could have been, should have been', that made a difference. Yet I couldn't bring myself to put any more than that to them, because of the common denominator in all of them - me.
AND I KNOW THAT, MAN!
There have been moments that are indelible in my mind that haven't been forgotten and have had a major impact on my life. And finally, I have come to a point where I have to enact 'imperial thinking' and make decsions based on what I ultimately think is best, no matter what.
Making excuses for what happened that didn't go my way, the things that I want to say that I didn't deserve to have happen to me, is something that I decided as a young adult NOT to do. Otherwise, I could NOT have dealt with things that did happen to me, that immaturity and inexperience didn't have me prepared for.
But when I was kid and didn't know better, I do think I was entitled to all the hopes and dreams that I had. And I didn't have too bad a childhood and even admit that I could have prolly been a better son. Failing at that, I did have enough to set my sights on becoming a better man, though I didn't have any idea of what a better man was.
What everything adds up to for me is, I actually never asked myself 'what if'. Never had reason to, because I moved on and kept getting opportunities to be something. So what is the 'death of the day' really about?
It makes me feel a bit down, not having an answer for that. The song to me sounds like the 'raging against the light', the line made immortal by Dylan Thomas. Maybe that is what it is about. But when I think of people who 'rage against the dying of the light', I think about cats like 'the old man in the club' or a wanna-be cougar in her epically pathetic prowl for a young cat.
Me, I prefer Frost's 'Road' and being able to take a path where few have attempted to walk. That 'raging' stuff is good for short bursts, but not over an extended period.
Perhaps I am making myself overwrought over ... nah, I am not. This is for real and not going anywhere.
The SFC has been totally and completely wonderful to be around. All the running around and loose threads that have been dangling about and getting snagged, she has been rightthere getting them untangled. She has been as the kids once used to say, 'all that and a bag o' chips!'
Since we met right out of high school, the ideal of wishing that all my friends, in our case from our old unit, could see us applies quite accurately. I keep imagining that there would be a lot of jealous cats eyeballing me... but at the same time, it would be like an open secret being confirmed, everyone seeing us together.
EXPLOSIONS
The other day I was doing some 'excavating' on a blog, you know, digging up on entries that have been old and gone for a few days and came upon this one by Huckadoll. It was very noticeable for me because she mentions a song and a band... and now that most of y'all have been briefed on my association of life and music, when I saw that she was speaking on 'The Birth And Death Of The Day', her entry had my rapt attention.
Bands like this and Mogwai (there are a couple of others who are escaping me at this moment) are called 'post rock', which is another one of the added descriptions to dillute people from coming together and bringing their enjoyment of something good together. Cause see, I am thinking if you can dig the band Spiritualized, then you could find something here with 'Explosions', just as I make the jump from Prodigy to Cinematic Orchestra. It is all good, and I do mean that it is all good.
Reading her entry, what this song represents to her stood out most of all:
"...it’s all about Explosions in the Sky ‘Birth and Death of a Day‘ – which I believe is the most inspiring musical creation in the history of music … oh my GOD, this song and video are so good that my mind wants to explode in pleasure after I do something wild like grow wings and fly around the world sprinkling golden fairy dust while kissing millions of cheeks and delivering taser shots of love … it’s seriously so inspiring and gorgeous … a reminder of why I’m alive … to experience beautiful things like this."
Because as true as it is for her and for me as well, there is something else in it that makes it appropriate for 'other things' in my mind. I think that it begins with the different types of footage that the music is set to. For her, the song is set to the wonderful clips from the movie 'Koyaansqatsi'.
For me, mine is a piece of concert footage from a EITS show in Seattle that the person who shot the film describes as 'epic'. Because as beautiful as the song is, and as much as it makes my spirit want to ascend to the heavens and into space, it also makes me feel other things.
Watching the band play and seeing how agonized they are creating such sonic pleasure, reminds me of how much effort and work goes into making something come true. And how disappointing it can be when after all that effort, you fall short of your mark. I think the boys in the band meant it like that ... otherwise they wouldn't have titled it 'The Birth And Death of the Day'.
SEE, IT'S THE 'DEATH' PART
I am not a morbid cat nor a negative one, either. Knowing what it is you are up against and still being willing to face it, is some kind of a sign of character. What kind, I am not sure. Sorta want to say it is a good sign though.
To me, that you have to deal with the 'death' of things so that you can enjoy the 'birth' allows one to endure those things that make them stare blankly into space and wonder what is happening. For instance when my boxing career 'died', I was comfortable with what happened. Gave a good whack at it and it didn't happen. I know there were things that 'could have been, should have been', that made a difference. Yet I couldn't bring myself to put any more than that to them, because of the common denominator in all of them - me.
AND I KNOW THAT, MAN!
There have been moments that are indelible in my mind that haven't been forgotten and have had a major impact on my life. And finally, I have come to a point where I have to enact 'imperial thinking' and make decsions based on what I ultimately think is best, no matter what.
Making excuses for what happened that didn't go my way, the things that I want to say that I didn't deserve to have happen to me, is something that I decided as a young adult NOT to do. Otherwise, I could NOT have dealt with things that did happen to me, that immaturity and inexperience didn't have me prepared for.
But when I was kid and didn't know better, I do think I was entitled to all the hopes and dreams that I had. And I didn't have too bad a childhood and even admit that I could have prolly been a better son. Failing at that, I did have enough to set my sights on becoming a better man, though I didn't have any idea of what a better man was.
What everything adds up to for me is, I actually never asked myself 'what if'. Never had reason to, because I moved on and kept getting opportunities to be something. So what is the 'death of the day' really about?
It makes me feel a bit down, not having an answer for that. The song to me sounds like the 'raging against the light', the line made immortal by Dylan Thomas. Maybe that is what it is about. But when I think of people who 'rage against the dying of the light', I think about cats like 'the old man in the club' or a wanna-be cougar in her epically pathetic prowl for a young cat.
Me, I prefer Frost's 'Road' and being able to take a path where few have attempted to walk. That 'raging' stuff is good for short bursts, but not over an extended period.
Perhaps I am making myself overwrought over ... nah, I am not. This is for real and not going anywhere.
Monday, November 23, 2009
IN A MOOD
WAS GOING IN ANOTHER DIRECTION
Trying to think of a 'happy place' while I stumble around one of the more difficult to navigate places I have ever been ... not like I didn't know that already, before I arrived. It is harder than I thought. Harder than I anticipated as well as a few surprises that are not only unexpected but WAY more complex that I could have ever imagined anything as to being.
Recalling my boxing experiences usually makes me smile, even when I think of the fights that I lost. But I don't feel like wondering about what happened when I was up here and in Baltimore, even though I had a neater time in Charm City than I did ... anyway, so I stopped thinking about that stuff.
I can't find the words to describe what I am feeling right now. Sure there are things that I am 'supposed' to do, and I will get to them before my day is done. Today is a work out day and I plan on doing an entry about what my workout consists of, soon.
But this is what I've talked about earlier, when I mentioned getting up and going out. I have my directions and bus schedules, so I shouldn't have any problems with getting to where I want to go. Yet when I tell myself to get up and walk out the door ...
The SFC is wonderful and I do love her very much. Getting in bed with her is a treat. I still see her as I did when we were stationed together and think of her as the same 'it girl' that she was when we were working together.
There isn't a whole lot more to say. And I am not in the position of letting my troubles overwhelm me to the point of saying 'why me?' and to continue to wish them away. Have do something to get somewhere ... anywhere. So I am heading out the door.
Trying to think of a 'happy place' while I stumble around one of the more difficult to navigate places I have ever been ... not like I didn't know that already, before I arrived. It is harder than I thought. Harder than I anticipated as well as a few surprises that are not only unexpected but WAY more complex that I could have ever imagined anything as to being.
Recalling my boxing experiences usually makes me smile, even when I think of the fights that I lost. But I don't feel like wondering about what happened when I was up here and in Baltimore, even though I had a neater time in Charm City than I did ... anyway, so I stopped thinking about that stuff.
I can't find the words to describe what I am feeling right now. Sure there are things that I am 'supposed' to do, and I will get to them before my day is done. Today is a work out day and I plan on doing an entry about what my workout consists of, soon.
But this is what I've talked about earlier, when I mentioned getting up and going out. I have my directions and bus schedules, so I shouldn't have any problems with getting to where I want to go. Yet when I tell myself to get up and walk out the door ...
The SFC is wonderful and I do love her very much. Getting in bed with her is a treat. I still see her as I did when we were stationed together and think of her as the same 'it girl' that she was when we were working together.
There isn't a whole lot more to say. And I am not in the position of letting my troubles overwhelm me to the point of saying 'why me?' and to continue to wish them away. Have do something to get somewhere ... anywhere. So I am heading out the door.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
A RAY OF SUNSHINE IN A OTHERWISE CLOUDY DAY
I WAS AT WORK WHEN I FIRST STUMBLED ON THIS (language advisory!!)
But I saw where the Wildcat had linked to this on his blog.
If all you did was listen to the Rants, you would laugh your head off! I had forgotten about ol' Foamy!!
He is sorta offensive in an Archie Bunker kind of way. Yesterday's 'Seinfeld' rerun was rip snorting hilarious. I think it was one of the funniest shows ever, rivaling 'Carol Burnett'. 'Cheers' was another show that I could count on for good, hard laughs. It was a show that no matter who walked by the television or their sense of humor, they would leave smiling.
My Army sis (who was tryin' to see the Pres. at Osan Air Base!) was a 'Friends' kind of gal ... it had it moments, but it never grabbed me. While 'Seinfeld' was a show about nothing, the lack of purpose that 'Friends' had made the show very shallow for me.
Watching the first 'rant', it doesn't have the same impact as it did when I first saw it. It is still funny, but it feels a little dated.
ME DRIVING!!
I smile watching the little poodle driving, because that is how I figure it would go if I was behind the wheel of a car!! It is amazing that I can ride that darn bike as well as I can!! Girl, you have NO IDEA!!!
Made it there(the Virginia Employment Workforce whatsit) and back again. They are testing for Census Workers and I just happened to show up at the right time!! So I sat and took the test, which was more of a challenge than I would have thought. There were 28 questions and I got 25 of them done. Even with that, the lady said I scored well, getting 20 of them right. I didn't have my 2nd piece of ID to verify my identity. She told me that I could bring it to their office and even request to take the test over. I think I will.
What ever is going wrong with me, is still going wrong. I still can hear lil' Mook sometimes, reminding me to 'be careful' when I get on Trixie. And that Nebraska said she 'caught it' when she finally met me. My point being, is that most of the physical things you will catch before I will. The mental issues ... oh, I know that stuff is going on there.
Reading is a chore ... and reading the simple but detailed questions took some effort. That is where I begin to make my choice, when stuff gets difficult. Since I hadn't planned on walking in and testing for the job, I could have came back another day. But that isn't what I was going to do, now that I had went to the trouble of taking up space in the testing office.
I buckled down and kept reminding myself that I have ALREADY DONE THIS before ... tests are tests are tests. I went to Renaissance High and I got some college under my belt. If this was nuclear physics, I would have wished I was Ken!
But it wasn't. Detailed but still simply story problems and a little arithmetic. There was some filing and hell, I am a 71 Lima!!
The lady acted like she was impressed by the score. I wasn't. After calming myself down and being able to accept that I wasn't going to breeze through the test, I should have gotten EVERY ONE of the questions correct. So when I go to take my other piece of ID to verify who I am, I am going to ask to take the test over. Can't do any worse, because I did that already!!
____________________________________________________________________
Other issues that I have, I don't talk about because the adjusting is done automatically. I think that it is more a function that we all have, the ability to compensate unconsciously for a weakness. I add to that I won't fool myself or over estimate my ability, as to my confidence in myself and what I am capable of.
By myself in the right environment, I know I can make a go of it. And THAT isn't what NOVA/Metroplex is all about.
It never has been, at least not for me.
NEXT: FIGHT NIGHT!!
But I saw where the Wildcat had linked to this on his blog.
If all you did was listen to the Rants, you would laugh your head off! I had forgotten about ol' Foamy!!
He is sorta offensive in an Archie Bunker kind of way. Yesterday's 'Seinfeld' rerun was rip snorting hilarious. I think it was one of the funniest shows ever, rivaling 'Carol Burnett'. 'Cheers' was another show that I could count on for good, hard laughs. It was a show that no matter who walked by the television or their sense of humor, they would leave smiling.
My Army sis (who was tryin' to see the Pres. at Osan Air Base!) was a 'Friends' kind of gal ... it had it moments, but it never grabbed me. While 'Seinfeld' was a show about nothing, the lack of purpose that 'Friends' had made the show very shallow for me.
Watching the first 'rant', it doesn't have the same impact as it did when I first saw it. It is still funny, but it feels a little dated.
ME DRIVING!!
I smile watching the little poodle driving, because that is how I figure it would go if I was behind the wheel of a car!! It is amazing that I can ride that darn bike as well as I can!! Girl, you have NO IDEA!!!
Made it there(the Virginia Employment Workforce whatsit) and back again. They are testing for Census Workers and I just happened to show up at the right time!! So I sat and took the test, which was more of a challenge than I would have thought. There were 28 questions and I got 25 of them done. Even with that, the lady said I scored well, getting 20 of them right. I didn't have my 2nd piece of ID to verify my identity. She told me that I could bring it to their office and even request to take the test over. I think I will.
What ever is going wrong with me, is still going wrong. I still can hear lil' Mook sometimes, reminding me to 'be careful' when I get on Trixie. And that Nebraska said she 'caught it' when she finally met me. My point being, is that most of the physical things you will catch before I will. The mental issues ... oh, I know that stuff is going on there.
Reading is a chore ... and reading the simple but detailed questions took some effort. That is where I begin to make my choice, when stuff gets difficult. Since I hadn't planned on walking in and testing for the job, I could have came back another day. But that isn't what I was going to do, now that I had went to the trouble of taking up space in the testing office.
I buckled down and kept reminding myself that I have ALREADY DONE THIS before ... tests are tests are tests. I went to Renaissance High and I got some college under my belt. If this was nuclear physics, I would have wished I was Ken!
But it wasn't. Detailed but still simply story problems and a little arithmetic. There was some filing and hell, I am a 71 Lima!!
The lady acted like she was impressed by the score. I wasn't. After calming myself down and being able to accept that I wasn't going to breeze through the test, I should have gotten EVERY ONE of the questions correct. So when I go to take my other piece of ID to verify who I am, I am going to ask to take the test over. Can't do any worse, because I did that already!!
____________________________________________________________________
Other issues that I have, I don't talk about because the adjusting is done automatically. I think that it is more a function that we all have, the ability to compensate unconsciously for a weakness. I add to that I won't fool myself or over estimate my ability, as to my confidence in myself and what I am capable of.
By myself in the right environment, I know I can make a go of it. And THAT isn't what NOVA/Metroplex is all about.
It never has been, at least not for me.
NEXT: FIGHT NIGHT!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
WILL I EVER GET THE BALANCE RIGHT?
THINKS THE SQUARE ROOT OF FOUR IS RAINBOWS*
Some days are harder for me than others. Wanted to go to the Workforce Connection or Commission place to see about getting some help in finding a job. At first, I figured I would hop on Trixie and scoot over to where I need to go.
The only road I am familiar with other than the one we live on, is Route 1, Richmond Highway. Oh, and lets not forget the lack of sidewalks in the immediate vicinity and that trends into why I didn't make it out today. I am sure that it isn't like that all over town, but I can't be sure because ...
... I don't go out. The gym is prolly a mile away and a straight shot. Feel pretty confident doing that. But going beyond the spot where I go to get a haircut is pretty dicey for me. Each day I try to tell myself to simply get out and get lost somewhere and then find my way back. And each day I find myself saying, 'Who are YOU kidding? For REAL, not for play.
When I think about my new environment, I can't help but think of the feelings I held about the area before I arrived. It isn't 'cute' thinking about being in the Metroplex because along with the ATL, it isn't a place I would have wanted to come back too, if it could be helped.
So, can it be? And if not, then ..?
BLIND AS A BAT
So its time for ME. I know this will piss some people off. But in all the years I gave to my family, I deserve to have some time to myself now. I sacrificed alot. No...no one made me. I gave it willingly and with lots of love, and I gave it everything I had. And I think I did a pretty good job. so now I need to turn some of that attention on myself.
That should have been something engraved in my mind. I got that from another journal, and that is part of what made up what I call 'the other 47%' of what went into my decision to come here.
I talk about my misteps and as Moz would plead, "Don't rake up my mistakes, I know exactly what they are". No, I haven't been anyone's huckleberry and never laid claim to being one. If the results of my choices brought me to this state, then it is what it is. No worries here.
Part of what made me snag that bit is not only did it define for me the mood of her post, but it also captured what I think is part of the essence of what is in my thoughts right now. I have felt like I was living those words at several times over my life and it is something that I have passed on taking definitive action on and it has been to my detriment. "Sick down to my heart, but that's just the way it goes."
BEAR DOWN
Maybe UA will get their chance to play in a Rose Bowl this season. Winning out will be quite a task, playing the Ducks of Oregon, instate rival ASU and USC on the road. It could be done, but the Magic 8 Ball says 'highly unlikely'.
I am telling myself to 'bear down' and keep on moving forward. Yeah, tomorrow I will get out of the house and get to where I am going. Got everything printed out and I know where to stand and all that mess.
Like Beth, some of this isn't going to be popular. And maybe the times I should have sacrificed I didn't and the times that I did, maybe I shouldn't have.
Since those words have acted like acetone in my heart and mind, I think I will be hovering around them for a bit.
Some days are harder for me than others. Wanted to go to the Workforce Connection or Commission place to see about getting some help in finding a job. At first, I figured I would hop on Trixie and scoot over to where I need to go.
The only road I am familiar with other than the one we live on, is Route 1, Richmond Highway. Oh, and lets not forget the lack of sidewalks in the immediate vicinity and that trends into why I didn't make it out today. I am sure that it isn't like that all over town, but I can't be sure because ...
... I don't go out. The gym is prolly a mile away and a straight shot. Feel pretty confident doing that. But going beyond the spot where I go to get a haircut is pretty dicey for me. Each day I try to tell myself to simply get out and get lost somewhere and then find my way back. And each day I find myself saying, 'Who are YOU kidding? For REAL, not for play.
When I think about my new environment, I can't help but think of the feelings I held about the area before I arrived. It isn't 'cute' thinking about being in the Metroplex because along with the ATL, it isn't a place I would have wanted to come back too, if it could be helped.
So, can it be? And if not, then ..?
BLIND AS A BAT
So its time for ME. I know this will piss some people off. But in all the years I gave to my family, I deserve to have some time to myself now. I sacrificed alot. No...no one made me. I gave it willingly and with lots of love, and I gave it everything I had. And I think I did a pretty good job. so now I need to turn some of that attention on myself.
That should have been something engraved in my mind. I got that from another journal, and that is part of what made up what I call 'the other 47%' of what went into my decision to come here.
I talk about my misteps and as Moz would plead, "Don't rake up my mistakes, I know exactly what they are". No, I haven't been anyone's huckleberry and never laid claim to being one. If the results of my choices brought me to this state, then it is what it is. No worries here.
Part of what made me snag that bit is not only did it define for me the mood of her post, but it also captured what I think is part of the essence of what is in my thoughts right now. I have felt like I was living those words at several times over my life and it is something that I have passed on taking definitive action on and it has been to my detriment. "Sick down to my heart, but that's just the way it goes."
BEAR DOWN
Maybe UA will get their chance to play in a Rose Bowl this season. Winning out will be quite a task, playing the Ducks of Oregon, instate rival ASU and USC on the road. It could be done, but the Magic 8 Ball says 'highly unlikely'.
I am telling myself to 'bear down' and keep on moving forward. Yeah, tomorrow I will get out of the house and get to where I am going. Got everything printed out and I know where to stand and all that mess.
Like Beth, some of this isn't going to be popular. And maybe the times I should have sacrificed I didn't and the times that I did, maybe I shouldn't have.
Since those words have acted like acetone in my heart and mind, I think I will be hovering around them for a bit.
Friday, November 13, 2009
TRANCES AND RECOVERED MEMORIES
SPORTSCENTER FROM WEST POINT
Veteran's Day was a special all day telecast from the Army's Military Academy. I watched a lot of the coverage, the same features over and over again. Brought back a lot of feelings for me, many from childhood and all of them eternal.
There has never been a question in my mind of whether or not I would fight for this country. For me, it always was considered an honor and the punch on my 'all day pass' for giving.
I think that being a bonnie wee lad as Vietnam ended and all the 'whatevers' that surrounded military service drew me to it. Man, that swimming against the stream thing has been in me for a LONG time. Though folks would say bad things about it, I had a cousin that came home from Vietnam and he wasn't too worse for wear, but I was looking at him from a child's perspective. What ever didn't sit right, whatever fraying he had, I wasn't aware of any of it.
Every Army-Navy game, it seemed that it was raining or at least drizzly! Looking at the Cadets and Midshipmen stand for the entire game in their uniforms, I would feel flush with pride. Each time I have found myself sitting in front of the tele watching the game, is a moment that I can't help but wonder 'what if' ...
_____________________________________________________________
When I hear about people who knew when they were a kid what they wanted to do their one thing, I get a little envious. Sometimes I wonder what were the circumstances that happened in their lives that facilitated their choice. What I mean by that is who mentored them and kept them in line for their dream? Even as I want to look for reasons that 'fated' them to become whatever they are, I have always came to the point where it was always the person that drove themselves to their destiny.
Before life can help you, you have to first start helping yourself. I knew that you would need to get a letter of recommendation in order to go to West Point. That meant if I wanted to go that I needed super great grades and a nomination from a Congressman or Senator. When I began to struggle with grades as I adjusted to life as a teenager, once my grades slipped to that 'B-C' shelf, mainly I sorta lost interest in the idea of going to West Point. But I still wanted to go Army.
Can't remember if I talked with any adult about what I had hoped for ... though I am pretty open with this thing here, there is A LOT that I don't put out. And it isn't because I have secrets to keep, but jeez, it is a lot and detailed. You'd have to be here to 'be here', you know what I am saying? Anywho, I still kept it together enough to stay in the ROTC ... and would go on and enlist under the delayed-entry program.
_____________________________________________________________
When my Army Sis graduated from high school, she came to me and asked about what she should do. Like me, she was a good but not great student. Could have went on and got financial aid and all that stuff, and scuffle through college, but she was already tired of that. She did all the extra curricular stuff, including playing basketball on a state championship team. But school was tiring, and no matter what, is no guarantee of anything. Her and a buddy were thinking about the Air Force and asked me for advice.
My military experience was a mixed bag ... but when I talked with her about it, I told her about how I had to take responsibility for a lot of my own experience. By joining the service you were at the political expediency of those in power and you could find yourself in some far flung place for spurious reasons. The upshot of it was you had an opportunity to find out about yourself and grow as a person.
Even though you didn't get paid what you would in the civilian sector, you had the benefits that made up for a lot of that. And you had the honor of being able to say to people that you served your country.
No matter what, you can use that in any discussion about the United States and why you feel the way you do about anything!
______________________________________________________________
I don't know if I talk a lot about or even live in my past. What I do know is that my everyday is awfully hum drum. When I was in the 'provincial town that I jogged 'round', or even back home at my Dad's, I don't know if any of the mendacity of what went on was 'note worthy'. Anywho, what is a journal for, if not to write about what is on a person's mind, namely MINE.
The past has been what I have been working on, trying to learn from it and grow. To me, if I was lost in where I have been, then when MD sent that email about that stuff, it would have set off all sorts of alarms and whatever. Really, the first and only thing that went thru my mind was how truly insignificant she is to me ... she is back to her 'nothingness' that she was a part of after high school.
When it has comes to 'the people I know', that is how I have dealt with them. That is why it was 'new' for me ... aw, I have repeated that enough. That is what is a struggle for me. Because there are legitimate reasons (to whoever) that they haven't thought about me, I have my legitimate reasons that I haven't been pressed about them.
Messin' round with Mookie was a test in many ways, to see if I can put up with the irratants that I have about people ... to see if I can 'get over myself' enough to make a relationship work. I know with my ex-wife that I told myself that I wasn't going to get over the fail in THAT relationship. I never should have met her. Should have been somewhere else ...
... and where I should have been and why I feel that way, is something that will never be known.
Veteran's Day was a special all day telecast from the Army's Military Academy. I watched a lot of the coverage, the same features over and over again. Brought back a lot of feelings for me, many from childhood and all of them eternal.
There has never been a question in my mind of whether or not I would fight for this country. For me, it always was considered an honor and the punch on my 'all day pass' for giving.
I think that being a bonnie wee lad as Vietnam ended and all the 'whatevers' that surrounded military service drew me to it. Man, that swimming against the stream thing has been in me for a LONG time. Though folks would say bad things about it, I had a cousin that came home from Vietnam and he wasn't too worse for wear, but I was looking at him from a child's perspective. What ever didn't sit right, whatever fraying he had, I wasn't aware of any of it.
Every Army-Navy game, it seemed that it was raining or at least drizzly! Looking at the Cadets and Midshipmen stand for the entire game in their uniforms, I would feel flush with pride. Each time I have found myself sitting in front of the tele watching the game, is a moment that I can't help but wonder 'what if' ...
_____________________________________________________________
When I hear about people who knew when they were a kid what they wanted to do their one thing, I get a little envious. Sometimes I wonder what were the circumstances that happened in their lives that facilitated their choice. What I mean by that is who mentored them and kept them in line for their dream? Even as I want to look for reasons that 'fated' them to become whatever they are, I have always came to the point where it was always the person that drove themselves to their destiny.
Before life can help you, you have to first start helping yourself. I knew that you would need to get a letter of recommendation in order to go to West Point. That meant if I wanted to go that I needed super great grades and a nomination from a Congressman or Senator. When I began to struggle with grades as I adjusted to life as a teenager, once my grades slipped to that 'B-C' shelf, mainly I sorta lost interest in the idea of going to West Point. But I still wanted to go Army.
Can't remember if I talked with any adult about what I had hoped for ... though I am pretty open with this thing here, there is A LOT that I don't put out. And it isn't because I have secrets to keep, but jeez, it is a lot and detailed. You'd have to be here to 'be here', you know what I am saying? Anywho, I still kept it together enough to stay in the ROTC ... and would go on and enlist under the delayed-entry program.
_____________________________________________________________
When my Army Sis graduated from high school, she came to me and asked about what she should do. Like me, she was a good but not great student. Could have went on and got financial aid and all that stuff, and scuffle through college, but she was already tired of that. She did all the extra curricular stuff, including playing basketball on a state championship team. But school was tiring, and no matter what, is no guarantee of anything. Her and a buddy were thinking about the Air Force and asked me for advice.
My military experience was a mixed bag ... but when I talked with her about it, I told her about how I had to take responsibility for a lot of my own experience. By joining the service you were at the political expediency of those in power and you could find yourself in some far flung place for spurious reasons. The upshot of it was you had an opportunity to find out about yourself and grow as a person.
Even though you didn't get paid what you would in the civilian sector, you had the benefits that made up for a lot of that. And you had the honor of being able to say to people that you served your country.
No matter what, you can use that in any discussion about the United States and why you feel the way you do about anything!
______________________________________________________________
I don't know if I talk a lot about or even live in my past. What I do know is that my everyday is awfully hum drum. When I was in the 'provincial town that I jogged 'round', or even back home at my Dad's, I don't know if any of the mendacity of what went on was 'note worthy'. Anywho, what is a journal for, if not to write about what is on a person's mind, namely MINE.
The past has been what I have been working on, trying to learn from it and grow. To me, if I was lost in where I have been, then when MD sent that email about that stuff, it would have set off all sorts of alarms and whatever. Really, the first and only thing that went thru my mind was how truly insignificant she is to me ... she is back to her 'nothingness' that she was a part of after high school.
When it has comes to 'the people I know', that is how I have dealt with them. That is why it was 'new' for me ... aw, I have repeated that enough. That is what is a struggle for me. Because there are legitimate reasons (to whoever) that they haven't thought about me, I have my legitimate reasons that I haven't been pressed about them.
Messin' round with Mookie was a test in many ways, to see if I can put up with the irratants that I have about people ... to see if I can 'get over myself' enough to make a relationship work. I know with my ex-wife that I told myself that I wasn't going to get over the fail in THAT relationship. I never should have met her. Should have been somewhere else ...
... and where I should have been and why I feel that way, is something that will never be known.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
A MONTH PLUS TWO
GIRL POWER
Since that lassie who did the mugging of the BYU soccer team has been such a sensation, I decided to go the other way with the idea of a 'girl doing something that boys do'.
This was an amazing athletic performance when everything is taken into consideration. There had never been a filly to win this race and none with the record that Zenyatta brought to the table. When she immediately fell to the back of the pack, though there weren't any NOW folks there to cheer her on, I do think it would have been one of the things that adds to the chauvinism in the world.
THE YOUNG DUKE
Watching the race, my thoughts turned to the line in the Benjamin Disraeli book that the term 'darkhorse' emerged from. Though I don't think that a filly who is unbeaten fits the role in the classic sense as she was among the favourites to win the race. The same I think applies to the horse that for whom the term was coined. Because the careless St. James did not see its name, did not mean that the horse 'wasn't on the list'.
As an amateur, when I'd go away to compete in tournaments out of town or even with my 'brunches' with regional or national teams, there would always be a cat who was trying to pump himself up with 'popcorn bravado'. I mean, everyone could be considered a very good fighter and to me, it felt like a fighter who would have to pump himself up by denigrating the competition was more worried than he would let on. I would like fighting cats like that. It always seemed to me that the moment of truth when they either saw that their pet combinations weren't as effective as they thought, or that I hit harder than they expected, they begin to fray.
On the other end of the spectrum, there was the less than confident cat. For whatever reason, they didn't feel as if they belonged. It was easier talking to them and getting them to understand that because they were 'here', and that they won to get to this stage that they truly belonged. And this was true in spite of what anyone else thought or said.
To me if you are on the list, how can you really be considered 'a darkhorse' when you win the race?
THE CARELESS ST. JAMES
When I first decided to look in my past for someone to go forward with, I left things open for someone to race in and take to the lead. But at the same time, is it really careless to be concerned with the majority opinions of who is the best and therefore most likely to be among the top finishers at the end? After all, just as the underdogs shouldn't sell themselves short, neither should the favourites overestimate their rivals. There were legitimate reasons that Mike Tyson was called, 'the baddest man on the planet'.
It is only when there is something that is overlooked, like with the Super Bowl between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots, that afterwards you see all the things that you were too busy being awed by to put in proper perspective. That is where you can make the case for 'carelessness'. People didn't put all the dots together and come up with an answer. Or they knew and just didn't pay the information any heed.
Anywho ... when folks find themselves in the serious pinning for someone, do they account for their own issues within the relationship? It isn't that the filly was simply faster than the rest of the field, but that no one in the field was as fast as she was. In short, the reason that they weren't 'winners' had a participatory part that gets overlooked in handicapping and in relationships.
The stereotype is that women commiserate with other 'you go girl' friends and drink cosmos, talking about how good they were to a jerk and whatever. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Like they don't sleep, crap and eat food too. There are reasons that things failed ... since I am not 'them' I don't know what specific that I may have done to have earned their enmity. I would cop to them and promise not to revisit the actions that were responsible for their dissatisfaction with me.
But do they ever ask themselves what did THEY contribute to the problem, beyond being 'too good' or 'forgiving'? Or do all they do is see themselves as a victim?
"By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." -Winston Churchill
I try not to say or speak poorly of anyone ... and if I do, I will let them know what I think and not vent for the sake of venting. And that is when you'd have to have 'boots on the ground' to understand why certain changes occur.
Time to get up, get out, and get into it.
Since that lassie who did the mugging of the BYU soccer team has been such a sensation, I decided to go the other way with the idea of a 'girl doing something that boys do'.
This was an amazing athletic performance when everything is taken into consideration. There had never been a filly to win this race and none with the record that Zenyatta brought to the table. When she immediately fell to the back of the pack, though there weren't any NOW folks there to cheer her on, I do think it would have been one of the things that adds to the chauvinism in the world.
THE YOUNG DUKE
Watching the race, my thoughts turned to the line in the Benjamin Disraeli book that the term 'darkhorse' emerged from. Though I don't think that a filly who is unbeaten fits the role in the classic sense as she was among the favourites to win the race. The same I think applies to the horse that for whom the term was coined. Because the careless St. James did not see its name, did not mean that the horse 'wasn't on the list'.
As an amateur, when I'd go away to compete in tournaments out of town or even with my 'brunches' with regional or national teams, there would always be a cat who was trying to pump himself up with 'popcorn bravado'. I mean, everyone could be considered a very good fighter and to me, it felt like a fighter who would have to pump himself up by denigrating the competition was more worried than he would let on. I would like fighting cats like that. It always seemed to me that the moment of truth when they either saw that their pet combinations weren't as effective as they thought, or that I hit harder than they expected, they begin to fray.
On the other end of the spectrum, there was the less than confident cat. For whatever reason, they didn't feel as if they belonged. It was easier talking to them and getting them to understand that because they were 'here', and that they won to get to this stage that they truly belonged. And this was true in spite of what anyone else thought or said.
To me if you are on the list, how can you really be considered 'a darkhorse' when you win the race?
THE CARELESS ST. JAMES
When I first decided to look in my past for someone to go forward with, I left things open for someone to race in and take to the lead. But at the same time, is it really careless to be concerned with the majority opinions of who is the best and therefore most likely to be among the top finishers at the end? After all, just as the underdogs shouldn't sell themselves short, neither should the favourites overestimate their rivals. There were legitimate reasons that Mike Tyson was called, 'the baddest man on the planet'.
It is only when there is something that is overlooked, like with the Super Bowl between the New York Giants and the New England Patriots, that afterwards you see all the things that you were too busy being awed by to put in proper perspective. That is where you can make the case for 'carelessness'. People didn't put all the dots together and come up with an answer. Or they knew and just didn't pay the information any heed.
Anywho ... when folks find themselves in the serious pinning for someone, do they account for their own issues within the relationship? It isn't that the filly was simply faster than the rest of the field, but that no one in the field was as fast as she was. In short, the reason that they weren't 'winners' had a participatory part that gets overlooked in handicapping and in relationships.
The stereotype is that women commiserate with other 'you go girl' friends and drink cosmos, talking about how good they were to a jerk and whatever. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Like they don't sleep, crap and eat food too. There are reasons that things failed ... since I am not 'them' I don't know what specific that I may have done to have earned their enmity. I would cop to them and promise not to revisit the actions that were responsible for their dissatisfaction with me.
But do they ever ask themselves what did THEY contribute to the problem, beyond being 'too good' or 'forgiving'? Or do all they do is see themselves as a victim?
"By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." -Winston Churchill
I try not to say or speak poorly of anyone ... and if I do, I will let them know what I think and not vent for the sake of venting. And that is when you'd have to have 'boots on the ground' to understand why certain changes occur.
Time to get up, get out, and get into it.
Monday, November 9, 2009
ZENYATTA MONDATTA
THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
One of my favourite quotes is from the book, 'The Young Duke' by British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli. It is said that the term 'darkhorse' gained popularity from it.
Zenyatta isn't a true 'dark horse'. The first filly to win the Breeder's Cup classic had won her previous 13 races. The big question was whether or not a filly could win the race. Still her amazing performance made me wonder what was anyone even thinking, that because she a girl that she wouldn't be able to run the race.
Right now there is a couple (or three!) of female issues that have been running through some of the 'free space' of my mind. Some of it is embodied by Zenyatta here.
Today Elizabeth Lambert, the thug for the New Mexico University Women's soccer team who rampaged thru the Brigham Young side, released a statement alledegin that she was a victim of sexism as much as anything for her being excoirated in the national media.
First, I think she was falling off the radar. If she is worried about her image, she shouldn't have done what she did on the pitch! It just so happens that this football season, several pro players have been fined and suspended for the kind of stuff she did. Granted, none of the trangressions were allowed to be repeated, but that is the point.
Fail, fail. Miss Lambert's antics were poorly officiated. Most of the big time men's sports have been neutered of such thuggery, even hockey. And with what happened in college football with Oregon's LeGarrette Blount and the response of his coach, that brings me to the next level of fail, the team and her coach.
How the soccer team coach let her get away with that is beyond me. Don't get me wrong, because crap stuff goes on in the low levels of any competitive sport. But she is a D-I soccer player, not some rec league gals having a go. The people that surrounded the program should have already known she was a hot head. Once, twice, maybe. But three times and that is a trend. Reminds me of the beloved 'Bad Boys', Bill Lamibeer and Rick Mahorn. Were they dirty? I guess if you rooted for Chicago!!
My point being if that kind of stuff was endorsed, even if it was tacit, then the COACHING STAFF has issues and she wasn't the only girly who has her 'panties in a bunch' in Albuquerque.
Finally, the reverse discrimination card doesn't play as well when something is so bloody obvious. No matter if it was men or not, she was near criminal in her assualt. Had someone been injured by her, I don't doubt that something would have been filed against her.
Betty left a comment that I agree with in part regarding Sarah Palin and it came to mind when I heard Miss Lambert whine about her infamy. If anything occurs in the near future to her, it won't be because the media picked on her. It will more than likely be due to her lack of comportment. She would simply fade away.
But Sarah isn't going away. She is reveling in her spotlight and making the most of her time in the sun. I do hope it sets, though. I dread the thought that she will run for President. I think that it is bad enough that her popularity means the 'sleeping giant' has awakened. (thank you, Katy Abram!)
Like blacks who want to PMS about stereotyping, I think that some women want it both ways. Is Elizabeth right about it being different if she was a man doing the same things? How about a man wouldn't have DARED to have tried that crap.
DIDN'T YOU KNOW ..?
That sometimes I write simply to write? Who said that this had to make sense?
I am still wondering about the wisdom of the Newsweek cover. I remember the O.J. Simpson cover of time, and for SURE I thought that was deliberate and spoke to the unconscious. The Newsweek cover of former Govenor Palin was an attempt at something ... but what, I wonder. That is what bothers me, why someone went to that extreme to make a story of her?
She did make me want to go runnin', though!
Elena Delle Donne, other than having a great name is a wonderful basketball player. In Sports Illustrated (cover date: Nov. 16, 2009) was considered one of the top basketball players coming out of high school in Connecticut, the entire country. At 6'5, she could have been on the tips of tongues already by now. Yet, when she graduated high school and accepted her scholarship to UConn, she felt an emptiness. She'd tell UConn before the season started that she was dropping out and they released her from her scholarship.
She had been pushed towards excellence as a ball player since she was young and she did excell. But after her senior year of high school, she was tired of it all. Tired of the nutritionists, the camps, the endless practices ... but at UConn, she was mainly tired of the thought of leaving her sister behind.
Her older sister, Elizabeth was born with cerebal palsy, deaf as well as blind. She can communicate with the same method that Helen Keller used. Rather than be the next 'it' girl in Women's basketball at UConn, Elena has enrolled at Delware to be closer to her sister.
Of course, she is going to change the direction of the program. But she makes me think of Larry Bird who had trouble adjusting to IU and deciding to go to Terre Haute (that is a fun name to think ... I like it!!). Didn't seem to hurt him in the long run!!
Sometimes, you have to go small in order to go big!!
One of my favourite quotes is from the book, 'The Young Duke' by British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli. It is said that the term 'darkhorse' gained popularity from it.
Zenyatta isn't a true 'dark horse'. The first filly to win the Breeder's Cup classic had won her previous 13 races. The big question was whether or not a filly could win the race. Still her amazing performance made me wonder what was anyone even thinking, that because she a girl that she wouldn't be able to run the race.
Right now there is a couple (or three!) of female issues that have been running through some of the 'free space' of my mind. Some of it is embodied by Zenyatta here.
Today Elizabeth Lambert, the thug for the New Mexico University Women's soccer team who rampaged thru the Brigham Young side, released a statement alledegin that she was a victim of sexism as much as anything for her being excoirated in the national media.
First, I think she was falling off the radar. If she is worried about her image, she shouldn't have done what she did on the pitch! It just so happens that this football season, several pro players have been fined and suspended for the kind of stuff she did. Granted, none of the trangressions were allowed to be repeated, but that is the point.
Fail, fail. Miss Lambert's antics were poorly officiated. Most of the big time men's sports have been neutered of such thuggery, even hockey. And with what happened in college football with Oregon's LeGarrette Blount and the response of his coach, that brings me to the next level of fail, the team and her coach.
How the soccer team coach let her get away with that is beyond me. Don't get me wrong, because crap stuff goes on in the low levels of any competitive sport. But she is a D-I soccer player, not some rec league gals having a go. The people that surrounded the program should have already known she was a hot head. Once, twice, maybe. But three times and that is a trend. Reminds me of the beloved 'Bad Boys', Bill Lamibeer and Rick Mahorn. Were they dirty? I guess if you rooted for Chicago!!
My point being if that kind of stuff was endorsed, even if it was tacit, then the COACHING STAFF has issues and she wasn't the only girly who has her 'panties in a bunch' in Albuquerque.
Finally, the reverse discrimination card doesn't play as well when something is so bloody obvious. No matter if it was men or not, she was near criminal in her assualt. Had someone been injured by her, I don't doubt that something would have been filed against her.
Betty left a comment that I agree with in part regarding Sarah Palin and it came to mind when I heard Miss Lambert whine about her infamy. If anything occurs in the near future to her, it won't be because the media picked on her. It will more than likely be due to her lack of comportment. She would simply fade away.
But Sarah isn't going away. She is reveling in her spotlight and making the most of her time in the sun. I do hope it sets, though. I dread the thought that she will run for President. I think that it is bad enough that her popularity means the 'sleeping giant' has awakened. (thank you, Katy Abram!)
Like blacks who want to PMS about stereotyping, I think that some women want it both ways. Is Elizabeth right about it being different if she was a man doing the same things? How about a man wouldn't have DARED to have tried that crap.
DIDN'T YOU KNOW ..?
That sometimes I write simply to write? Who said that this had to make sense?
I am still wondering about the wisdom of the Newsweek cover. I remember the O.J. Simpson cover of time, and for SURE I thought that was deliberate and spoke to the unconscious. The Newsweek cover of former Govenor Palin was an attempt at something ... but what, I wonder. That is what bothers me, why someone went to that extreme to make a story of her?
She did make me want to go runnin', though!
Elena Delle Donne, other than having a great name is a wonderful basketball player. In Sports Illustrated (cover date: Nov. 16, 2009) was considered one of the top basketball players coming out of high school in Connecticut, the entire country. At 6'5, she could have been on the tips of tongues already by now. Yet, when she graduated high school and accepted her scholarship to UConn, she felt an emptiness. She'd tell UConn before the season started that she was dropping out and they released her from her scholarship.
She had been pushed towards excellence as a ball player since she was young and she did excell. But after her senior year of high school, she was tired of it all. Tired of the nutritionists, the camps, the endless practices ... but at UConn, she was mainly tired of the thought of leaving her sister behind.
Her older sister, Elizabeth was born with cerebal palsy, deaf as well as blind. She can communicate with the same method that Helen Keller used. Rather than be the next 'it' girl in Women's basketball at UConn, Elena has enrolled at Delware to be closer to her sister.
Of course, she is going to change the direction of the program. But she makes me think of Larry Bird who had trouble adjusting to IU and deciding to go to Terre Haute (that is a fun name to think ... I like it!!). Didn't seem to hurt him in the long run!!
Sometimes, you have to go small in order to go big!!
Friday, November 6, 2009
YET ANOTHER IN WHAT HAS BEEN A LONG LINE ...
... OF RANDOM POSTS
Few of things about the Ft. Hood tragedy.
In a rush for ratings, there was a lot of misinformation issued. Sen. Bailey-Hutchinson needed to sit herself down. Early on, CNN kept referring to her as if she had some special information from on post. In fact, after the Lt. Gen. spoke, the Sen. continued to provide old, unconfirmed, information.
The mayor of Killeen did a far better job of remaining in his lane, and showed the proper deference when it came to who had authority in the matter.
Media coverage was spotty at best throughout the evening. Is this what the 24-hour news cycle has wrought? People feeding the Hydra of ego, ratings, fame and commercializtion of tragedy? There was enough hints about the Major's 'Arab sounding name' to start a panic about a possible terrorist link.
There are enough things at play here without any other wild and possibly destructive speculation as to the infiltration of foreign sappers on US soil.
No personal politicizing of this terrible event from me here. The coverage is still annoying enough. I really wonder how do those people sleep at night ... not the incendiary figures that we all 'know and love' like Keith Olberman and Bill O'Reilly. But the 'who the heck are they?' anchors of the late night-early morning shows.
If I didn't know better, Robin Meade was 'teasing' the information out, as if there was things she didn't know and was going to leave to the following hour or segment. Then she went to a promo for a rerun of Rihanna's interview.
She was very uninformative and did not have ANY grasp of what happened at Fort Hood. Or so the Germans would have you believe ...
MERRIL HOGE
He was the football player that caused me to pay more attention to the problems the sport was having with concussions. His career was shortened because of his issues with secondary concussion syndrome. Watching him do his thing on television makes me feel confident about my ability to function.
Even though he does get along pretty well, he could easily sit and claim that he has reached his level and stay there. He is at one end of the spectrum. I think that I am shaded towards him, though I don't like hearing my voice played back. I don't think I will ever purposely or willingly make any kind of vocal recording of myself speaking.
Doesn't mean I won't talk though!
THE D.C. SNIPER
John Allen Muhammad was tried in Virginia and given a death sentence. His attorney has petitioned the Govenor on his behalf to have his sentence commuted to life in prision. After all, it is against the law to kill someone who is mentally ill.
Thing is, one of the women on his jury said that she would not have voted for death had she known that he CLEARLY had brain injury. You CAN'T fake that. The MRI clearly shows he had issues going on. Tim Kaine, a Roman Catholic who is opposed to the death penalty, still has found it suitable to allow for 9 deaths in the chamber, the nation's second busiest (hey, for real ... don't MESS with Texas!).
Bucko did an entry which seemed to me to be about ethics and morals (could it have been about 'The Metaphysics of Morals'??) and perhaps this could be another test case that actually plays out.
If Muhammad's brain was damaged, then it should have been known at the time and the information shared with the jurors. Now, I ask anyone reading, is the greater good benefitted more from his death even as he is obviously mentally ill? Or should we seek to treat him humanly, more humanly than he has the CAPACITY for displaying?
Should we still abide by the 'eye for an eye' kind of Old Testament sentiment, or use the forgiveness and way to grace that is allowed by the New Testament? Are we not judged by how we treat the weakest and the most infirm among us or do we have such hard hearts that there is no act that can be forgiven, despite what we may know?
I think a wonderful contrast is the serial cat in Cleveland. Should he get a death sentence now, as he has demonstrated a disregard for life as open society see it? Or should we put to death a man who did serve his country and may have had injuries that were execerbated by his service?
In one, you have a blantant disregard for life and in the other you have a mitigating condition that could be the result of his efforts to preserve a way of life.
SINCE I AM RAMBLING ...
Mookie emailed me about the crap that I left with her, the same crap that she asked about in the spring. I am like WTF!!
I may pick up more on that in a later entry as I am not doing too much of anything. Still having a time adjusting to being here. But me and my girl are doing fine!! In fact as I have come to the end, I think I have done more fore shadowing than anything.
Few of things about the Ft. Hood tragedy.
In a rush for ratings, there was a lot of misinformation issued. Sen. Bailey-Hutchinson needed to sit herself down. Early on, CNN kept referring to her as if she had some special information from on post. In fact, after the Lt. Gen. spoke, the Sen. continued to provide old, unconfirmed, information.
The mayor of Killeen did a far better job of remaining in his lane, and showed the proper deference when it came to who had authority in the matter.
Media coverage was spotty at best throughout the evening. Is this what the 24-hour news cycle has wrought? People feeding the Hydra of ego, ratings, fame and commercializtion of tragedy? There was enough hints about the Major's 'Arab sounding name' to start a panic about a possible terrorist link.
There are enough things at play here without any other wild and possibly destructive speculation as to the infiltration of foreign sappers on US soil.
No personal politicizing of this terrible event from me here. The coverage is still annoying enough. I really wonder how do those people sleep at night ... not the incendiary figures that we all 'know and love' like Keith Olberman and Bill O'Reilly. But the 'who the heck are they?' anchors of the late night-early morning shows.
If I didn't know better, Robin Meade was 'teasing' the information out, as if there was things she didn't know and was going to leave to the following hour or segment. Then she went to a promo for a rerun of Rihanna's interview.
She was very uninformative and did not have ANY grasp of what happened at Fort Hood. Or so the Germans would have you believe ...
MERRIL HOGE
He was the football player that caused me to pay more attention to the problems the sport was having with concussions. His career was shortened because of his issues with secondary concussion syndrome. Watching him do his thing on television makes me feel confident about my ability to function.
Even though he does get along pretty well, he could easily sit and claim that he has reached his level and stay there. He is at one end of the spectrum. I think that I am shaded towards him, though I don't like hearing my voice played back. I don't think I will ever purposely or willingly make any kind of vocal recording of myself speaking.
Doesn't mean I won't talk though!
THE D.C. SNIPER
John Allen Muhammad was tried in Virginia and given a death sentence. His attorney has petitioned the Govenor on his behalf to have his sentence commuted to life in prision. After all, it is against the law to kill someone who is mentally ill.
Thing is, one of the women on his jury said that she would not have voted for death had she known that he CLEARLY had brain injury. You CAN'T fake that. The MRI clearly shows he had issues going on. Tim Kaine, a Roman Catholic who is opposed to the death penalty, still has found it suitable to allow for 9 deaths in the chamber, the nation's second busiest (hey, for real ... don't MESS with Texas!).
Bucko did an entry which seemed to me to be about ethics and morals (could it have been about 'The Metaphysics of Morals'??) and perhaps this could be another test case that actually plays out.
If Muhammad's brain was damaged, then it should have been known at the time and the information shared with the jurors. Now, I ask anyone reading, is the greater good benefitted more from his death even as he is obviously mentally ill? Or should we seek to treat him humanly, more humanly than he has the CAPACITY for displaying?
Should we still abide by the 'eye for an eye' kind of Old Testament sentiment, or use the forgiveness and way to grace that is allowed by the New Testament? Are we not judged by how we treat the weakest and the most infirm among us or do we have such hard hearts that there is no act that can be forgiven, despite what we may know?
I think a wonderful contrast is the serial cat in Cleveland. Should he get a death sentence now, as he has demonstrated a disregard for life as open society see it? Or should we put to death a man who did serve his country and may have had injuries that were execerbated by his service?
In one, you have a blantant disregard for life and in the other you have a mitigating condition that could be the result of his efforts to preserve a way of life.
SINCE I AM RAMBLING ...
Mookie emailed me about the crap that I left with her, the same crap that she asked about in the spring. I am like WTF!!
I may pick up more on that in a later entry as I am not doing too much of anything. Still having a time adjusting to being here. But me and my girl are doing fine!! In fact as I have come to the end, I think I have done more fore shadowing than anything.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
MEDIA WATCH
DID ANYONE ELSE WATCH 'V'??
It started off rather slow ... but it started to catch hold of me when I convinced myself to overlook things ... bad science kind of makes me disinterested, you know. The show's special effects budget can only do so much.
I see they kept the female alien leader a brunette. I thought that was nice, and she looks more sinister than campy. Perhaps I am remembering the 'big hair' of the 80's and holding that against her.
Will have to put up with pronoun use, because I don't feel like checking and getting the names of the actors/actresses. The news guy that did the big interview is a familiar guy, and he is a good looking cat as well. I wonder where I remember him from?
One name that I do know, Morris Chestnut, is a good actor and I am glad to see a brother get some work!
I wonder how long before people begin to notice how eerily similar the plot is to real life? I mean you have this big Wesayso kind of corporation making all these big promises and only asking for a 'small token' in return for their help. After an initial reluctance, masses all fall in line and before you know it ...
It looks good enough for me to watch again.
POLITICS ... AS USUAL
It isn't any wonder why the aliens sneak in and infiltrate life here on Earth? I think they have us distracted now!
Will someone please explain to me how the races in New Jersey and here in Virginia speak for a rebuke of the Democrats and President Obama? Why doesn't it speak about how crap politicians finally get put out on the streets?
Gov. Corzine as rich as he may be, has been a polarizing figure for a good while in NJ. Couldn't it have been people got tired of him and the crap race he ran with all the attack ads? Chris Christie was a good federal prosecutor and stuck with the issues.
Here in Va. you had Bob McConnell who had the advantage of being a former office holder with a higher profile than his opponent Creigh Deeds. From what I understand, they way that they ran their campaigns made a big difference, too. From what I understand, McConnell downplayed some of his arch-conservative social views (and man, is he a right wing pigeon or what ..!) and focused on what people wanted to hear about. Jobs and the economy.
I don't know if Deeds made a wise choice by being reluctant to utilize the power of the White House in his efforts. If there was an election that spoke for the overall climate in politics today, it was the race for the 23rd District in New York. You had the Republican Party candidate being usurped by a far right candidate.
Seeing how many people got behind Doug Hoffman and the groups that were involved, I think the next social battleground is going to be fought in the realm of politics as fundamentalist Christian politicians run for office. The scary thing about it is two fold.
In the 'them v. us', both sides believe that they are representative of a unspoken for group. You have on the one side, a group that believes that their way of life is threatened and their core belief is not being represented. They are willing to get active and will force their way of thinking into legislation.
On the other, you have the apathy of those who don't understand why getting involved in politics should matter to them. This is why the magical 'Obama coalition' didn't show up and vote. Many of the cats and kittens that went to the polls during the Presidential election understood clearly what was at stake. In my mind, that is what cost Creigh Deeds and why overall the group of voters who were responsible for the historical election of President Obama did not show up here or in New Jersey for the Democrats.
That is where the Republicans and its social right wing have such a crucial advantage. They can get their constitiuents to the polls by speaking simply and directly to them. I don't see where the Democrats do that, and liberals are flat out a-holes. I resent them and their 'holier than thou' attitude. Instead of offering an alternative to something, they tend to look and act as if it is unbelievable that anyone could not agree with them or see through the wrongness of the alternative offerings.
GM SUCKS
New OnStar commercial uses Detroit as the location for one of its latest commercial, trumpeting its use as an auto recovery device. I don't see why they would want to do something like that. Seems like a good way to alienate your biggest fans, the people of Michigan, if you ask me.
Things are still nervy here. Enough about that ... for now.
It started off rather slow ... but it started to catch hold of me when I convinced myself to overlook things ... bad science kind of makes me disinterested, you know. The show's special effects budget can only do so much.
I see they kept the female alien leader a brunette. I thought that was nice, and she looks more sinister than campy. Perhaps I am remembering the 'big hair' of the 80's and holding that against her.
Will have to put up with pronoun use, because I don't feel like checking and getting the names of the actors/actresses. The news guy that did the big interview is a familiar guy, and he is a good looking cat as well. I wonder where I remember him from?
One name that I do know, Morris Chestnut, is a good actor and I am glad to see a brother get some work!
I wonder how long before people begin to notice how eerily similar the plot is to real life? I mean you have this big Wesayso kind of corporation making all these big promises and only asking for a 'small token' in return for their help. After an initial reluctance, masses all fall in line and before you know it ...
It looks good enough for me to watch again.
POLITICS ... AS USUAL
It isn't any wonder why the aliens sneak in and infiltrate life here on Earth? I think they have us distracted now!
Will someone please explain to me how the races in New Jersey and here in Virginia speak for a rebuke of the Democrats and President Obama? Why doesn't it speak about how crap politicians finally get put out on the streets?
Gov. Corzine as rich as he may be, has been a polarizing figure for a good while in NJ. Couldn't it have been people got tired of him and the crap race he ran with all the attack ads? Chris Christie was a good federal prosecutor and stuck with the issues.
Here in Va. you had Bob McConnell who had the advantage of being a former office holder with a higher profile than his opponent Creigh Deeds. From what I understand, they way that they ran their campaigns made a big difference, too. From what I understand, McConnell downplayed some of his arch-conservative social views (and man, is he a right wing pigeon or what ..!) and focused on what people wanted to hear about. Jobs and the economy.
I don't know if Deeds made a wise choice by being reluctant to utilize the power of the White House in his efforts. If there was an election that spoke for the overall climate in politics today, it was the race for the 23rd District in New York. You had the Republican Party candidate being usurped by a far right candidate.
Seeing how many people got behind Doug Hoffman and the groups that were involved, I think the next social battleground is going to be fought in the realm of politics as fundamentalist Christian politicians run for office. The scary thing about it is two fold.
In the 'them v. us', both sides believe that they are representative of a unspoken for group. You have on the one side, a group that believes that their way of life is threatened and their core belief is not being represented. They are willing to get active and will force their way of thinking into legislation.
On the other, you have the apathy of those who don't understand why getting involved in politics should matter to them. This is why the magical 'Obama coalition' didn't show up and vote. Many of the cats and kittens that went to the polls during the Presidential election understood clearly what was at stake. In my mind, that is what cost Creigh Deeds and why overall the group of voters who were responsible for the historical election of President Obama did not show up here or in New Jersey for the Democrats.
That is where the Republicans and its social right wing have such a crucial advantage. They can get their constitiuents to the polls by speaking simply and directly to them. I don't see where the Democrats do that, and liberals are flat out a-holes. I resent them and their 'holier than thou' attitude. Instead of offering an alternative to something, they tend to look and act as if it is unbelievable that anyone could not agree with them or see through the wrongness of the alternative offerings.
GM SUCKS
New OnStar commercial uses Detroit as the location for one of its latest commercial, trumpeting its use as an auto recovery device. I don't see why they would want to do something like that. Seems like a good way to alienate your biggest fans, the people of Michigan, if you ask me.
Things are still nervy here. Enough about that ... for now.
Monday, November 2, 2009
WHAT I'M BURNING ON
NOT NOW ... LATER THOUGH
It has been a challenging go here for me. Haven't been up to talking about my 'what's what'. The reason why is I believe most things aren't as tough as they may seem at first glance. Once you get up and get involved and get into it, you begin to feel the pressure lessening. What ever it is you are up against begins to look less formidable. With that ...
RICHMOND, CALIFORNIA
Again a case where I can definitively say I would have done something different were I anywhere around that. Twice in high school I can recall getting involved where groups of folks were massing up against people. Some punks from Cooley at the Northland Mall were acting their shoe size and another time ducking and dodging some 'Herny Ford, 1#' students. One of the things that I wonder about the case out there is, how much 'this and that' is going to get blamed for it?
I don't know much about the details, from the victims relationship to the initial attackers or if it was truly a random happening. Whatever is in that kernel, is where the real problem lies. The rest of the gang doing what they did owes much more to a mob mentality than it does any real indictment of society.
'The hero business comes down to me.' That is the kind of stuff I tell myself when things start to jump off. In fact, I wouldn't have even considered acting a case of sticking my neck out. How could I when I am doing what it is I am supposed to do?
CRIMINAL MINDS
That is a show that I do find entertaining. But lately, as I watch reruns on A&E, I wonder about why ANYONE is entertained by the continued loss of life before they finally catch who ever it is. For instance, 'Frank' as played by David Carridine is a serial killer who gets away and I am assuming goes on to keep on killing. He is portrayed as a cerebral, autistic, emotionally scarred cat with some Oedipal issues.
Then the reality comes in with the cat in Ohio. This was no 'Wile E. Coyote, criminal genius'. He was a convicted rapist who had fallen through the cracks. Since 'Silence of the Lambs', there is an alarming tendency to elevate these people to status of intelligence that they don't deserve.
Like Jeffery Dahmer or even John Wayne Gacy, most of these cats are LUCKY. They owe more to the convergence of indifference and inattention to detail than any 'Hannibal Letcher' skills or intelligence. In fact, I worry about what makes the prime hunting grounds so fertile for these cats.
Similar to the cases of abuse that involve children, serial killers often strike society at its underbelly, in its soft unseen areas. In Carolina, there is an outcry for more investigation to cases of missing black women who exists on the periphery of society.
To me, it says more about our society when we can easily overlook the problems that affect those who aren't as connected to those who lie on the fringes.
FOOTBALL
Watching the drama of the Minnesota Viking - Green Bay Packer game with the SFC was rather enjoyable. It was the second consecutive weekend that we both sat paying attention to some intense football. The Pittsburgh Steelers win against the Vikings was the other game we watched from start to finish. It struck me while we were watching the game, why I think women tend to not mind, if not enjoy watching a game with me.
I have the typical knowledge of the game that you would expect of a football fan. But it is always about the story and drama of the game. The Viking-Packer game was full of the ebb and flow of an intense drama.
But like the serial killer thing, where the unspoken truth that serial killers aren't as smart as some want to pretend they are, the congressional hearings on the damage that playing football does to the human body was on my mind. There were a couple of hits on Saturday where the cats had suffered a concussive blow to the head. The annoucers suitably wondered about the players availablity.
One of the problems with the head injuries that happen in football is in the culture. In a fight, you get knocked out, you have to sit for at least 30 days. In football, it is rare that a player would miss an entire month of games. That is the culture in the sport.
Football is not without this kind of worry from Congress. It nearly found itself banned before for being too violent. That was back in the 'Leatherhead' days. And it is weird how much of what surrounded the sport then, the socialization of the participants and how they were exhalted is what is part of the concern now, along with the damage it does to a person.
Today is the day I start my training at the gym. I will journal about that in my other blog. If I find a camera in the next week or so, I am going to take a 'before' picture so that I can see the contrast myself.
It has been a challenging go here for me. Haven't been up to talking about my 'what's what'. The reason why is I believe most things aren't as tough as they may seem at first glance. Once you get up and get involved and get into it, you begin to feel the pressure lessening. What ever it is you are up against begins to look less formidable. With that ...
RICHMOND, CALIFORNIA
Again a case where I can definitively say I would have done something different were I anywhere around that. Twice in high school I can recall getting involved where groups of folks were massing up against people. Some punks from Cooley at the Northland Mall were acting their shoe size and another time ducking and dodging some 'Herny Ford, 1#' students. One of the things that I wonder about the case out there is, how much 'this and that' is going to get blamed for it?
I don't know much about the details, from the victims relationship to the initial attackers or if it was truly a random happening. Whatever is in that kernel, is where the real problem lies. The rest of the gang doing what they did owes much more to a mob mentality than it does any real indictment of society.
'The hero business comes down to me.' That is the kind of stuff I tell myself when things start to jump off. In fact, I wouldn't have even considered acting a case of sticking my neck out. How could I when I am doing what it is I am supposed to do?
CRIMINAL MINDS
That is a show that I do find entertaining. But lately, as I watch reruns on A&E, I wonder about why ANYONE is entertained by the continued loss of life before they finally catch who ever it is. For instance, 'Frank' as played by David Carridine is a serial killer who gets away and I am assuming goes on to keep on killing. He is portrayed as a cerebral, autistic, emotionally scarred cat with some Oedipal issues.
Then the reality comes in with the cat in Ohio. This was no 'Wile E. Coyote, criminal genius'. He was a convicted rapist who had fallen through the cracks. Since 'Silence of the Lambs', there is an alarming tendency to elevate these people to status of intelligence that they don't deserve.
Like Jeffery Dahmer or even John Wayne Gacy, most of these cats are LUCKY. They owe more to the convergence of indifference and inattention to detail than any 'Hannibal Letcher' skills or intelligence. In fact, I worry about what makes the prime hunting grounds so fertile for these cats.
Similar to the cases of abuse that involve children, serial killers often strike society at its underbelly, in its soft unseen areas. In Carolina, there is an outcry for more investigation to cases of missing black women who exists on the periphery of society.
To me, it says more about our society when we can easily overlook the problems that affect those who aren't as connected to those who lie on the fringes.
FOOTBALL
Watching the drama of the Minnesota Viking - Green Bay Packer game with the SFC was rather enjoyable. It was the second consecutive weekend that we both sat paying attention to some intense football. The Pittsburgh Steelers win against the Vikings was the other game we watched from start to finish. It struck me while we were watching the game, why I think women tend to not mind, if not enjoy watching a game with me.
I have the typical knowledge of the game that you would expect of a football fan. But it is always about the story and drama of the game. The Viking-Packer game was full of the ebb and flow of an intense drama.
But like the serial killer thing, where the unspoken truth that serial killers aren't as smart as some want to pretend they are, the congressional hearings on the damage that playing football does to the human body was on my mind. There were a couple of hits on Saturday where the cats had suffered a concussive blow to the head. The annoucers suitably wondered about the players availablity.
One of the problems with the head injuries that happen in football is in the culture. In a fight, you get knocked out, you have to sit for at least 30 days. In football, it is rare that a player would miss an entire month of games. That is the culture in the sport.
Football is not without this kind of worry from Congress. It nearly found itself banned before for being too violent. That was back in the 'Leatherhead' days. And it is weird how much of what surrounded the sport then, the socialization of the participants and how they were exhalted is what is part of the concern now, along with the damage it does to a person.
Today is the day I start my training at the gym. I will journal about that in my other blog. If I find a camera in the next week or so, I am going to take a 'before' picture so that I can see the contrast myself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)